Blog Archives

Our Man James

It’s been a fun week watching Seattle suffer. Totally fun. Fun noticing the complete absence of Dickhead Sherman mouthing off anywhere. Fun not seeing Doug Baldwin foaming at the mouth to some reporter. Fun seeing Pete Carroll publicly wiggle through

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

Plenty of Nothing

Four weeks into Free Agency and the 49ers have done just about nothing, except re-signing some of their own players and picking up some table scraps from other teams. The only FA starter signed was SS Antoine Bethea. He replaced

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

The Ten Four Clubs

With one week left before the beginning of Free Agency, the 49ers have yet to re-sign any of their 12 pending free agents. That’s 23% of last year’s season ending roster in danger of going bye-bye. Of course, some of

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Trade Winds

Pro Football Talk has been busy the past week trying to characterize the 49er front office as a powder keg, citing sources that mostly emanate from the Browns’ FO, a group trying to spin themselves into some sort of scenario

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Rolling the Dice

Both the Patriots and the 49ers have been to three straight Conference Championship games. They’ve each lost twice and won once. They’ve both lost their one Super Bowl appearance. That’s the franchise company the 49ers find themselves in. The big

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

49ers 19, Seahawks 17

I slept pretty good last night. I wasn’t haunted by visions of that evil bastard Pete Carroll grinning and gloating all the way back to Seattle. Instead, he and his team flew home feeling dented. Not nearly so dominant as

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Back To Work Week

On Saturday, Raiders’ HC Dennis Allen said it was time for his team to make its move. Sunday, they did — backwards, losing ignominiously at home to the woeful Eagles 49-20. Back to the drawing board, Dennis. Need a little

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Posted in FOS Speculation

49ers 34, Texans 3

Houston quarterback Matt Schaub led the 49ers to a 34-3 trouncing of his very own self Sunday night, throwing three interceptions, one of which was a record setting fourth straight game with a pick six. CB Tramaine Brock was the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Fall From Grace

This is normally the time we disparage our upcoming opponents and scoff at any notion they might be able to beat the mighty 49ers. Two wallopings in a row kind of takes the swagger off the mighty, though. I hope

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Posted in Game Previews

Seattle 29, 49ers 3

The Seattle Seahawks proved Sunday night that last December’s trashing of the 49ers was no fluke. They trashed them again, perhaps even worse. The final score was 29-3, but this game was over by half time when the score was

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 41, Chargers 6

The 49ers walked all over the Chargers Thursday night, 41-6, ending the exhibition season with a 3-1 record. A week from Sunday, the 2013 season will be underway. When Training Camp began, the team had Anquan Boldin and a cast

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Minicamp Munchies

The first day of minicamp produced a torrent of news that didn’t abate until the entire bottom of a thimble had been dampened. AJ Jenkins caught a difficult pass and Scott Tolzien tossed two to four interceptions, depending which beat

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Yea and Nay

It’s been a good news, bad news week — and in that order. Tuesday, the 49ers new stadium in Santa Clara was selected to host the 50th Super Bowl, luring a world full of dorks and idiots with too much

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Count Down to Destiny

For a whole new generation of 49er fans, this will be their first experience of the team in the Super Bowl. They can’t jump for joy like we oldsters could because their pants would fall off, but I’m sure they

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Posted in Vacant Observations

1998 Redux

What a great weekend of football. Mostly. Two down to the wire thrillers, and two blow outs — one enjoyable, one boring. Which reminds me, the AFC truly sucks. How about getting some decent teams over there? Peyton Manning is

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Down Goes Frazier

San Francisco 49er fans tuned in Sunday night to watch their Super Bowl contending team in action and were instead treated to a throwback game to the Mike Nolan era. The 42-13 drubbing by the Seahawks was their worst beating

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bragging Rights Brawl

The 49ers have a lot on the line this Sunday night in Seattle, but not nearly as much as the Seahawks and their head coach, former failed roofing materials salesman Pete Carroll. His team is as good as it can

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Posted in Game Previews

The End Is Near

With the victory over the Patriots, the 49ers clinched a playoff spot. They also gave the middle finger to the “regression to norm” stat geeks who solemnly pronounced last summer the Niners 2012 record would only be 9-7. With two

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Bayou Beat Down

The San Francisco 49ers swamped the NFL drama market all week with HC Jim Harbaugh’s C’mon Man! manure machine and then backed it up on Sunday in New Orleans, stomping the home town heroes 31-21 and putting a fork in

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Posted in Post Game Spread

The Earth Moved

Wow. I didn’t see RGII’s debut game or Cam Newton’s last year, but given the national stage, the playoff implications, and the quality of the opponent, I don’t see how either of those guys could have been better than Colin

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Semester Break

The 49ers zoomed into sole possesion of first place in the NFC West Sunday by lounging pool side while watching Arizona get stuffed by Minnesota. Next Monday night, the team will get to stuff Arizona themselves. Meanwhile, Seattle CB Richard

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Posted in The Usual Suspects
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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