Blog Archives

Southern Discomfort

The 49ers made their first player cuts from 90 down to 75 fairly painlessly. A few camp fodder lads were released, Parys Haralson was traded to the Saints, and about ten guys were pushed off the roster and stashed onto

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Slip Sliding Away

Contrary to perception and the blatherings of certified dipwads like Geraldo Rivera, who should have been sealed up in the bogus treasure cave of Al Capone rather than shamelessly continuing a charlatan journalism career, the NFL is 50% less likely

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Pawn to K-4

It’s July, and we’re two weeks through the awful empty hours between OTAs and Training Camp. Time to get the little play toys out on the board and preside over their fate. While we await the next episode of Extreme

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Roster Roulette

Last year, the 49ers returned all 22 starters on offense and defense. Ergo sumatra, there was no place for any of the 2012 rookies to squeeze into the starting lineup. That’s not the case this year. There are three vacancies

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Posted in Noggin Scratching

Class of 2013

The 49ers had three distinct areas of need (D-line, FS, and TE) going into the 2013 Draft and they addressed all three areas in the first two days. Whether the dresses added improve the comeliness of the product to the

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Darkness at the Break of Noon

Okay, fellow blogpulsive disorders, it’s time once again for the annual NFL Reality Show predictions. Get out those chin scratchers and hmmm mullers and make a wild, hair-brained guess, gussied up as expertise. What will the 49ers’ record be for

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Mile High Meh

The third preseason game against Denver was nothing to write home about. But, nobody writes home about practice games anyway. The game was nationally televised, with FOX’s number one broadcasting team on hand, and Denver used the opportunity to show

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Here Comes the Judge

Two days till the 49ers open the 2011 season at home against the Seattle Seahawks. But a virtual Iron Curtain has been erected around 4949 Centennial Blvd. by new coach Jim Harbaugh and nobody has any idea what kind of

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Posted in Game Previews

Spine Bottom Roulette

The 49ers’ Training Camp 2011 ended Thursday, and the players broke camp by checking out of their hotel rooms, I guess, because they don’t go anywhere for camp any more. With the new CBA banning two-a-days, you can’t call these

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Posted in Training Camp

Numero Uno Casino

Perhaps we should return to just UQB. My previous post seems to have Smithed everyone off! At any rate, Mr. Unnamed was in the news again Tuesday as Jim Harbaugh announced he was creating “separation” from Colin Kaepernick in the

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Posted in Training Camp

Big Easy Wasn’t

The 49ers will not have a perfect preseason record this year. That’s good. However, they certainly didn’t need to be so emphatic about getting beat. Most of the blame for this ignominious debut can be placed at the feet of

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Posted in Post Game Spread

One Weak Wonders

The Great 2011 Free Agency Manhunt enters its seventh day this morning and a football starved world has come out of hiding to gush and moan for six solid days. The Eagles and Jets have generated the most buzz, but

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Hypothetical Hypnosis

On the plus side of no football activity this off season, the 49ers will likely be able to retain the services of Manny Lawson, Dashon Goldson, David Baas, and maybe even Abrayo Franklin or Takeo Spikes, if the team still

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Free Agent Blues

The UFL conducted its draft Monday, mostly in obscurity. It’s fair to say that many of the guys this league drafted would normally be in the UDFA pool and the NFL would be swooping in to sign them this week.

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Show and Tell

The 49ers opened their doors to the public Wednesday, and trotted out their three new coordinators for the Bay Area press to evaluate. These media intros aren’t so much for gathering any hard core news as they are for sizing

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Posted in Coachspeak 101

To Halve and Halve Not

Not a single game of football was played yesterday, from sea to shining sea. Rudely enough, most of the sports world moved right along to other sports, like basketball, golf, racing, and baseball. Even rugby! This is the sort of

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Posted in Monday Morning Quarterback

Merriman to the Niners?

Shawne Merriman was finally put on waivers by the Chargers on Tuesday and there has been some speculation the 49ers will claim him. Greg Manusky coached him in San Diego and likes him, or liked him a few years ago.

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Slaughter House Four

The blogosphere bellied up to bar last week, thumping and howling for scalps, and then spilled out into the streets to burn and pillage the town of Ninerville, USA. It was an ugly and embarrassing spectacle of fandom gone berserk.

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Raiders Still Suck!

Nice try, Raiders. Har har hearty har har. Those evil little boys tried everything. They juiced the play clock, they drained the playbook, they begged and prayed — all to no avail as the 49ers treated them like a light

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Posted in Exhibition Season

2010 TC I: Pancakes & Premonitions

The 49er Flying Circus is now officially air borne. Camp got off to a roaringly good start Monday as David Baas made it through day one without getting injured normal start Monday as David Baas limped off the field with

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Posted in Training Camp

The Defense Rests

Yesterday, I looked at the keys to an improved offense this coming season, which got me a ripe umbrage tomato heaved out of the crowd and splattered against my schnozz. Today, I’ll look at the defense, while the neighborhood kid

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Squinting at the Horizon V

The final Squint in our week long series focuses on the Linebackers. The Dline gets no peeps in this series because nothing much has changed there from last year’s lineup. Ricky Jean Francois is working at the nose trying to

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Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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