Blog Archives

Take a Number

The 49ers close out their offseason practices this week. If you gleaned any useful information from these sessions, congratulations. Your drug of choice has served you well. Joe Montana‘s recent birthday was a painful reminder that we once had recognizable,

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

And the Least Shall Be Last

The 49ers and Cardinals meet tonight in a battle for the basement in the NFC West. That the Niners are engaged in this sort of tawdry affair is no surprise, but Arizona has been a surprise disappointment thus far in

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Let the Games Begin

Less than a week until we get our first look at the 2016 49ers. Hopefully, it won’t dissuade us from continuing to watch them as the season unfolds. There hasn’t been any viewing competition in the Bay Area for the

Tagged with: , , , ,
Posted in Training Camp

Up the Down Staircase

The 49ers currently have 39 players on the squad that were selected from the 2013 – 2016 drafts. NaVorro Bowman is the only guy left from the 2010 draft. Nobody left from 2008, 2009, and 2012. Only Colin Kaepernick, Daniel

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Long Odds

Your faithful scribe has been offline for a couple of weeks. In my absence, the 49ers have apparently been flying under the radar also, content to remain inconspicuous while the Warriors, Sharks, and Giants capture the attention of the Bay

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Browns 24, 49ers 10

The Blaine Gabbert Era turned a jubilant corner last week against the Bears, only to run smack into a brick wall this week in Cleveland. The two win Browns completely dominated the game, out gaining the 49ers 481-221 yards, with

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Battle of the Suckitudes

The 49er players are treating their loss to the Giants as some sort of team victory and a sign that their fortunes are on the way up. That illusion has a chance to be bolstered this weekend with an actual

Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Big Ass Parade

49er QB Colin Kaepernick laid a huge ass egg last Sunday in Arizona. He’s taken a big ass beating from the press all week because of it. An agonizing event like that can break a guy. Or it can be

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Not Good Enough

We’re finally down to the last dregs of the offseason. One more garbage game to go before the San Francisco 49ers become NFL roadkill. The team sent 15 nobodies packing on Monday and will say good-bye to another 22 after

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Exhibition Season

Coming Soon: The Not Harbaugh Era

The NFC West has one team that knows it will be in the playoffs, one team that assumes it will make the playoffs, and one team that hopes to make the playoffs. And one team that will be wildly enthusiastic

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Training Camp

49er 2015 Draft Recap

The results are in and we now know the names of the ten players who will waste their first year in the NFL learning schemes and systems from lousy coaches who will be fired in a year or two. Enjoy

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Draft Reaction

Draft Bier

Draft frenzy is in full swing these days. The Draft itself is quite enjoyable, but the pre-draft hoopla can be a bit taxing. If this sort of entertainment is not one’s cup of tea, it’s like living in a one

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vacant Observations

Spring Equiknocks

The 49ers hired a new head coach after the 2014 season, so they can begin their offseason workout program earlier than other more stable franchises. The first workout begins in two weeks, on April 6. It’s entirely possible that we’ll

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Raiders 24, 49ers 13

The 49er season, and probably the Jim Harbaugh era, came to an ignominious end Sunday in Oakland. The team is in such disarray and so riddled with injuries that it’s difficult to see them winning another game this season. The

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Halfway House

How nice of the NFL to give the Niners a BYE week so the Bay Area can concentrate on rooting for the Giants to win the World Series. It’s been a strange beginning to the 2014 season. The new stadium

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Mindless Drivel

Bronc Skinner Blues

The 49ers have given the Eagles their only defeat this year, as well as the Cowboys their sole blemish. If this Sunday night’s opponent, the Broncos, hadn’t already lost a game, I’d feel confident the Niners would whip them. But

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

49ers 31, Rams 17

For the third straight game, the 49ers dug themselves into a 14 point hole, then methodically clawed their way out and won. This time, they were down 14-0 after the first quarter and looked to be heading into the half

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Meet Me In St. Louis

Last year, the St. Louis Rams recorded 53 sacks. This year, after four games, they have ONE! Uno potahto, baby! DE Robert Quinn had 19 sacks last year. This year, ZERO! It must be that multi-million dollar contract upgrade he

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Visiting the Uglies

Sunday marked the end of life without football. R.I.P. hunk of shit dead air time. The 49ers tee it up Thursday night against the Ravens. Can’t wait to see Jewel Hampton blowing through holes opened up by Al Netter and

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Training Camp

Sic Transit Offseason

One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th. The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

August Previews

For the past few years, the 49er starting lineup has been a pat hand heading into Training Camp. It can be debated whether they have had the lowest form of pat hand — a straight — or a somewhat higher

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

The Big Three

Some 49er fans (and a few beat writers) are skeptical that the team will open up the offense this coming season, spreading it out and running 3-wide formations abundantly. After all, Trent Baalke just drafted a couple more big, bruising

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vacant Observations
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

Archives