Blog Archives

The Spin Doctor Is In

Now that the 49ers’ Front Office has bungled away the feel good atmosphere of the hugely successful 2011 season and reminded us of the ten years of ownership ineptitude which preceded it, everyone can get back to business. And thank

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Standards of Excellence

If you live in the Bay Area, it’s easy to recognize that the 49ers are once again a proud and fashionable franchise. 49er apparelled torsos and torsoettes walk the streets, go to the banking window, shop at the malls, and

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Posted in Vacant Observations

The Future, The Past, The Guillotine

The 2012 Offseason is now open for business and the wonderful players on the 2011 49er team are no longer Our Boys, but our chess pawns. Sorry, guys. It’s a cruel business. Unless you’re a star, which we wish you

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

A Debacular Success

Sunday’s 13-8 victory over the Bengals was probably the 49ers’ most exciting and satisfying unwatchable game in many years. And there are a lot of unwatchable games in contention for this distinction. What made this ugly duckling sparkle over the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Where’s Waldo?

Game 3 Sunday in Cincinnati and a golden opportunity to show Frank Gore that Moran Norris is holding him back, not pushing him forward. Norris has a bum ankle or foot and is out for this game. May his outness

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Posted in Game Previews

Fake Games Farewell

The 49ers saved the best till last in the 2011 NFL Preseason exhibition fake games. As a side note, they won the contest 20-17, but who cares about that? The big story was the 49ers’ first team offense rising from

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Posted in Post Game Spread

One Weak Wonders

The Great 2011 Free Agency Manhunt enters its seventh day this morning and a football starved world has come out of hiding to gush and moan for six solid days. The Eagles and Jets have generated the most buzz, but

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Pre-Game Nerves

As we head into the last two days of the lockout, 49er fans seem most concerned about the defense. Five starters from last year’s team are currently free agents. And one starter, Nate Clements, has a salary that has ballooned

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Defense of the Realm

In the previous post, this knothole peeper suggested that the 49ers’ success or failure in 2011 depended on the improved performance of the defense, which finished 2010 ranked 16th in the league. This observation was immediately and viciously attacked by

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Man or Mirage Game

Next Sunday will be the tenth game of the season, but the NFC playoff teams are already pretty much identifiable. The Giants and Eagles, the Falcons and Saints, the Packers, and the token representative of the NFC West. The Bears

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Posted in Wednesday Morning Game Plan

Tinkerbell in Cleats

Like a bolt out of the blue Fate steps in and sees you through When you wish upon a star Your dreams come true It might not be true that any 49er fan was wishing on a star these past

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Posted in Tuesday Morning Waterboy

The Missing Ornament

I had a dream last night that the 49ers beat the Eagles 59-0. In the dream, as the team lined up for its first offensive play of the game, one by one little light bulbs popped up over the helmets

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Posted in Thursday Practice, Uncategorized

Happy Glooming

The last time there was an in season coaching change for the 49ers was two years ago when Mike Nolan was fired and Mike Singletary became interim HC. The team’s initial response to this upheaval was a lifeless beat down

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Posted in Friday Walkthrough

End of the *!$*!%#@*&* Era

Wednesday was no doubt one of the most important days of the season for the 49ers. It was a day that Mike Singletary had to look his team in the eye and see if they still believed in him. And

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Posted in Thursday Practice

Therapy Room 101

Okay. Enough with the hand wringing. We can do it again tomorrow, after Mike Singletary meets with the press today. Here’s a tip Coach. Roll out a bus, throw Moran Norris under it, grind it back and forth a few

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Posted in Thursday Practice

A Mega Wet Turd

Nine months of thirsty optimism for the 49ers glorious march back into the NFL playoffs in 2010 was rewarded Sunday when the team squeezed out one of the nastiest looking foul specimens you would ever want to have the misfortune

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Posted in Monday Morning Quarterback

2010 TC II: Red Flags

Day Two of 49ers Training Camp and David Baas is still injured. Each year brings us new Red Flags that can be used to immediately recognize bloggers who don’t have a clue what they are talking about. A lot of

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Posted in Training Camp

2010 TC I: Pancakes & Premonitions

The 49er Flying Circus is now officially air borne. Camp got off to a roaringly good start Monday as David Baas made it through day one without getting injured normal start Monday as David Baas limped off the field with

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Posted in Training Camp

Lights, Camera, Action

Sigh. We made it. It’s here. The beginning of a new decade of NFL football. The Patriots and the Colts owned the last decade. Which teams will own this coming one? (Hint: The San Francisco 49ers!!!!!). I must be channeling

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Posted in Training Camp

No Mo SCO

Next on the operating table is Moran Norris. Some might say, “Who cares about him?” Or something similarly disdainful, perhaps more graphically expressed. But Norris is indeed worthy of discussion in this series of scathing frowning critiques of the 49ers.

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Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes

The Wheeze Out Factor

Every year, it seems, a guy nobody is thinking about decides to get old in a hurry or just suddenly run out of gas, throwing a serious owie into the outlook for the team’s success. Injuries can achieve the same

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Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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