Blog Archives

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

For the third straight year, the 49ers are beating the bushes looking for a new regime to hopefully convince a skeptical fanbase that they know what they’re doing. Unfortunately for them, the fanbase is, by now, 100% sure that this

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Falcons 41, 49ers 13

The 49ers rolled to their 13th straight loss Sunday in Atlanta, extending their franchise record for consecutive losses. They also set the franchise record for most rushing yards given up in a season, which now stands at 2,468 yards. And

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Camp Karaoke

Another week closer to the start of the 2016 season. And, for the first time since 2009, there will be a QB competition to provide some drama to the exhibition games. Shaun Hill got the nod over Alex Smith in

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Chip and the Dip

Chip Kelly introduced himself to the Bay Area media Wednesday. It went well. None of the grunting, mumbling, sweating, stammering, furtive and incoherent rambling made notorious by his inept predecessor Jim Tomsula. Crisp, witty, intelligent. Terrific. If this was 2011,

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Bengals 24, 49ers 14

For most of the first half, the 49ers and Bengals held a punting contest. Very scintillating viewing. Then quite suddenly, with five minutes left until halftime, the Bengals put up 21 points. One TD came after an Anquan Boldin fumble

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Streaky Clean

Twelve games into the 2015 season, the 49ers have yet to win so much as two games in a row. They’ve lost four in a row, and have a couple of two game losing streaks, but all four victories this

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Posted in Game Previews

Seahawks 29, 49ers 13

The 49ers kept their road record perfect on Sunday in Seattle, losing 29-13 for their fifth consecutive road loss. Once again, it was the defense that led the way to defeat as Seahawks backup RB Thomas Rawls bulled through them

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Battle of the Suckitudes

The 49er players are treating their loss to the Giants as some sort of team victory and a sign that their fortunes are on the way up. That illusion has a chance to be bolstered this weekend with an actual

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Posted in Game Previews

Steelers 43, 49ers 18

Oooo! Ouchhh! Uncle! No mas!! The 49ers absorbed their worst beating since the Mike Singletary era Sunday in Pittsburgh, getting squashed by the Steelers 43-18. The game was a nip and tuck, see-saw 0-0 battle until the second Steeler possession,

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Coming Soon: The Not Harbaugh Era

The NFC West has one team that knows it will be in the playoffs, one team that assumes it will make the playoffs, and one team that hopes to make the playoffs. And one team that will be wildly enthusiastic

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Posted in Training Camp

Really Excited

Oakland has a championship. San Francisco has a championship. Santa Clara has Jed York. Moving right along, I put on my 1994 Super Bowl Champion 49ers’ T-shirt over the weekend, still going strong after 21 years of careful use, and

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Forward to the Past

The marketing wing at 4949 Centennial Blvd. has officially scrapped the “Quest for Six” slogan and replaced it with “Hooray, We Suck” banners for the 2015 season. Santa Clara tax dollars at work. The 49ers will be holding a rookie

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Spring Equiknocks

The 49ers hired a new head coach after the 2014 season, so they can begin their offseason workout program earlier than other more stable franchises. The first workout begins in two weeks, on April 6. It’s entirely possible that we’ll

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Out From The Shadows

It’s unlikely we’ll ever know how much of a role GM Trent Baalke played in decimating the 49ers’ coaching staff at the end of the 2014 season. There’s no doubt about Jed York‘s role. He wasn’t clever enough to disguise

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Tangled Web

We’re half way through the dead zone called February. You know it’s a nothing time when the dread word “basketball” creeps into conversations. Thank god we have Jed York to kick around for a few more weeks, until the start

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

49ers 20, Cardinals 17

In a meaningless battle between two crippled teams, one that will play again next week and one that won’t, it was the Won’ts that prevailed over the Wills in a close and fairly entertaining game. The Harbaugh Era ends in

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Joe Blow Fan, R.I.P.

No wonder Jed York is always smiling. The new Santa Clara stadium is completely sold out for the 2014 season. The cheapest seats are $850. If all 68,500 seats cost that much, the take per game season would be $58,225,000.

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Hick Cups

We’re in the midst of a sporting drought. The Red Sox flicked aside the Cardinals in last fall’s World Series, the Seahawks blew out the Broncos, the Spurs humbled the Heat, the Kings wiped out the Rangers, and the U.S.

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Dead Air

The NFL has finally grunted out the 2014 schedule, giving starved football fans something tangible to munch on. (Ed note: not sure this image is suitable for children) The 49ers are an 11 to 13 win team, no matter who’s

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Tough Guys Don’t Dance

The 49ers have generously added yet another game for our viewing pleasure this year with their victory over the Panthers. This will be the third straight year the team has advanced to the NFC Championship Game. Bravo lads! Has it

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 19, Seahawks 17

I slept pretty good last night. I wasn’t haunted by visions of that evil bastard Pete Carroll grinning and gloating all the way back to Seattle. Instead, he and his team flew home feeling dented. Not nearly so dominant as

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Sgt. Pepper vs the Blue Meanies

The Richter Scale crowds in Seattle are making a mockery of competitive fairness in the NFL. It’s one thing for the home crowd to make it difficult for an opposing offense to operate, but quite another to make it flat

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Posted in Game Previews
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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