Blog Archives

Fab Rehab Team

The second of three OTAs begins Tuesday and hopefully we will not hear anything newsworthy from this three day practice session. If there’s real news, it’s going to be bad. Otherwise, everyone is looking great and ready to have a

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Lip O Suck Shun

Easter has come and gone, and those of you who attempt to give devout behavior at least a smidgeon of your attention can now ease back into your wicked and sinful ways. Those of you who are devoutless devotees can

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Count Down to Destiny

For a whole new generation of 49er fans, this will be their first experience of the team in the Super Bowl. They can’t jump for joy like we oldsters could because their pants would fall off, but I’m sure they

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Heroes and Heartbreaks

Eddie Debartolo thinks the 49ers should beat Green Bay Saturday night because they have a better team. Short, simple, and basic. Best team wins. This formula proved perfect in last weekend’s wild card games. Best team won in all four

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

The Final Eight

The Ravens’ uniforms are really butt ugly. And Ray Lewis’s absurd pregame preening ritual should never have been televised once, let alone ten thousand times over twelve years. Take some dance lessons, Ray. An acting coach wouldn’t hurt either. Better

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Demolition Crew

The San Francisco 49ers squeaked by the Buffalo Bills Sunday, edging them 45-3. This was the most balanced offensive beat down in the history of the NFL. 310 yards passing and 311 yards rushing. That is some scary shit, folks

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Ooops!!!

Well, that was embarrassing. For the first time in Jim Harbaugh’s tenure as 49er Head Coach, the team did not show up ready to play and were dominated the entire game by the lowly Minnesota Vikings. This game will either

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Posted in Post Game Spread

ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

The NFL earth shifted on its axis Sunday afternoon. The consensus best team in the NFC was beaten at home 30-22 by the consensus last year was a fluke team. The San Francisco 49ers beat Green Bay in every phase

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Mile High Meh

The third preseason game against Denver was nothing to write home about. But, nobody writes home about practice games anyway. The game was nationally televised, with FOX’s number one broadcasting team on hand, and Denver used the opportunity to show

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Halfway House

The 49ers play Denver next Sunday. Hmmmm. What will the storyline be? Aldon Smith vs Von Miller? The return of Perrish Cox? Hmmm…. Traditionally, the third exhibition game is viewed as the most meaningful of the meaningless games. The starters

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Wanted: A Few Scary Guys

11-85 is not yet as famous in the Bay Area as 16-80 or 8-80, but a few more years of heroics and a couple of SBs could change that. Alex Smith to Vernon Davis tied an NFL record for TDs

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Posted in Training Camp

Getting Real

After two days of air guitar practices, the 49er players put on the pads Sunday and started banging on each other for real. Ah, it may not be as sweet as the smell of napalm in the morning, but for

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Posted in Training Camp

Fourteen Days

Training Camp is now two weeks from lift off and heading into it, the starting lineup appears to be set. This is good, but it also sucks. Most of the mystery of TC will be absent. The pecking order at

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Posted in Training Camp

Facial Recognition Teamware

The 49ers’ first three day OTA has concluded. There will now be a four day rest period before the next OTA. Gasp. Wheeze. C’mon, man! What we’ve learned so far is that Frank Gore is primed for another year of

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Barking on a Corner

We all have our squabbles and quibbles about various players on the 49ers, with some fellows probably more prone to squabbilifying than others due to the testicle shrinking weather conditions of the upper Yukon — but, hey, I’m no doctor!

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Pucker Up And Blow

It’s generally assumed the 49ers will have a very good year in 2012. Heck, this site gooped as much just last Friday. But one thing the 2012 season won’t have is the amazed glee the 2011 season provided. The 2011

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Draft Daze 2012

The 2012 Draft is finally here! At last. My mock hath runneth over. So far, I’ve seen predictions the 49ers will trade up, trade back, or select Stephen Hill, Rueben Randle, Kendall Wright, Coby Fleener, Amini Silatolu, Kevin Zeitler, Peter

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Posted in Draft Board

Reporting For Duty, Sir

While many of you trudge reluctantly to the nearest Post Office today, grudgingly rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, the San Francsico 49ers will gather in Santa Clara and toss the old potato around for the first time

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Crime and Punishment

The draft is two and a half weeks off, the first offseason practices are a week away, and the Gregg Williams scandal is threatening to end life on earth, as we know it. The players involved in Bountygate have yet

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Post Trauma Ward

69,000,000 TV viewers watched Kyle Williams’ leg make naughty with the football in the NFC Title game. That’s a whole lot of peepers tuned into the worst moment of your life. I’m not sure what the worst moment of my

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

The Future, The Past, The Guillotine

The 2012 Offseason is now open for business and the wonderful players on the 2011 49er team are no longer Our Boys, but our chess pawns. Sorry, guys. It’s a cruel business. Unless you’re a star, which we wish you

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Coping Machinationisms

I’m trying to feel lousy about the 49ers losing the NFC Championship game, but it isn’t working. I feel bad, certainly. But not lousy. If I was a Packers fan or a Saints fan, I would feel lousy. Those two

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Posted in Delusional Therapy
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee: W 25-23
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville: W 44-33
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams: W 34-13
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
NJ49er: 6-10
Skeebers: 6-10
Bullit: 5-11
Mr Fletch: 5-11
RTFirefly: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
Winder: 4-12

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