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ACLs R Us

The 49ers will be holding their month long offseason practices in a week or so. Matt Maiocco will provide spotty coverage that portrays everything in a positive light. Grant Cohn will provide the same coverage, portraying everything in a negative

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Rim Shot

So much foreplay, so little roar. As expected, the 49ers used the second pick in the 2019 Draft to select pass rusher Nick Bosa. On Day Two, they picked a small, quick WR (Deebo Samuel) and a big, tall WR (Jalen

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Return of the Jed

It was only a matter of time. For the past two years, Jed York has been quiet, almost invisible. Leaving Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch alone to do their jobs. Over the weekend, however, word leaked out of 49er HQ that York had

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Playoff Blues

It’s been a month since the 2018 regular season ended. During that time, the Seahawks went to the playoffs and the Rams went to the Super Bowl. And the 49ers assumed their customary position on the spectator couch. They finished

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Buzzkill Edition

We’re a week and a half into the offseason, and no 49er player has yet been arrested. Super Bowl here we come! There seems to be a ground swell of optimism forming for the 2019 season, unlike any season in,

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Rams 48, 49ers 32

Drama got no favors from the 49ers this year. It took three games to boot it from the season (Jimmy Garoppolo tears ACL), but only two possessions (fumble, interception) to erase it from the final game. Along the way, George Kittle

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bears 14, 49ers 9

The Chicago Bears brought some old-fashioned smash-mouth football to Santa Clara Sunday afternoon. They shut down the 49ers running game, then shut down their passing  game, then shut them out in the second half, and finally sent 25% of the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 26, Seahawks 23

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! After ten straight thumpings, the 49ers finally rose up and smote down the Seattle effing Seahawks. I’m still pinching myself, Shirley. Sunday’s victory was the biggest win of the Kyle Shanahan era

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 20, Broncos 14

Every dog has its day and Sunday the 49ers had their second WTF Dog Day of the year. The first was against the Raiders and this was against the Broncos. And both of them  were engineered by Nick Mullens, who has

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Trending Up Meets Trending Down

The Broncos were left for dead last month. Their record was 3-6. Now it’s 6-6, after dispatching the Chargers and Steelers, and they might just slip into the playoffs if they keep on winning. Imagine their delight to find the

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Posted in Game Previews

Giants 27, 49ers 23

That was a pretty entertaining game between two evenly matched teams, which is not what you want to say when the team you’re matched up evenly with came into the game with the worst record in the NFC and exited

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Cardinals 18, 49ers 15

I confess I missed some of the “action” in Sunday’s game against the Cardinals. I kept getting distracted by some paint drying on a nearby wall. Apparently, Bradley Pinion was winning a spirited punting duel against former 49er Andy Lee, with 7

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Worst a Shire Marathon

The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,

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Posted in Game Previews

Carrot and Stick

The Rams and 49ers have not been relevant in the same season since about 2002. But they’ve certainly both been irrelevant in quite a few of those years. We’ve got to get these two synced up if there’s ever going

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Posted in Game Previews

Chargers 29, 49ers 27

Sunday’s 49ers looked a lot like last year’s 49ers. Gritty, competitive, never-say-die, back-and-forth nail-biter but short end of the stick.  Just enough positive play to stay in the game and just enough mistakes to lose. CJ Beathard filled in admirably

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Respect, Just a Little Bit

Gloomy week in 49erville. HC Kyle Shanahan must be feeling a little snake bit these days. Every time he brings in a player to help the team, that player ends up on IR. If this keeps up, players are going

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Posted in Game Previews

Chiefs 38, 49ers 27

The 49ers season swirled down the toilet Sunday afternoon against the Kansas City Chiefs when late in the game QB Jimmy Garoppolo recklessly went for a couple more yards instead of stepping out of bounds. As he planted his left

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Kansas City Star, That’s What He Are

At the beginning of the season, nearly everyone figured the 49ers’ record after two games would be 1-1. There were a couple of guys who felt differently, but they have now clunked to the bottom of the “Prognostications” list, where

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 30, Lions 27

As expected, the 49ers rebounded from their loss in Minnesota to easily barely handle the toothless scrappy Detroit Lions. After controlling the game for three quarters, the Niners held a 17 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Vikings 24, 49ers 16

Jimmy Garoppolo is human after all. His NFL unbeaten record came to a crashing halt Sunday in Minnesota, as the Vikings handed Jimmy his first taste of professional defeat after seven consecutive wins. Minnesota QB Kirk Cousins played the kind

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Opening Bell

It’s one week until the gates open on the 2018 NFL season. Which means it’s time to throw our brains on the table and cough up our annual predictions of what the 49ers’ record will be this year. As usual,

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Posted in Game Previews

Colts 23, 49ers 17

The 49ers cleverly disguised their offensive juggernaut Saturday night, pretending to hit a brick wall against the lowly AFC South cellar dwelling Indianapolis Colts. You can almost hear the snores emanating from the game plan rooms of DCs around the

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Posted in Exhibition Season
2019 Schedule
9-8: @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1:25pm
9-15: @ Cincinnati Bengals, 10am
9-22: vs. Pittsburgh Steelers, 1:25pm
9-29: BYE

10-7: vs. Cleveland Browns, 5:15pm
10-13: @ Los Angeles Rams, 1:05pm
10-20: @ Washington, 10am
10-27: vs. Carolina Panthers, 1:05pm
10-31: @ Arizona Cardinals, 5:20pm

11-11: vs. Seattle Seahawks, 5:15pm
11-17: vs. Arizona Cardinals, 1:05pm
11-24: vs. Green Bay Packers, 1:25pm

12-1: @ Baltimore Ravens, 10am
12-8: @ New Orleans Saints, 10am
12-15: vs. Atlanta Falcons, 1:25pm
12-21 or 12-22: vs. Los Angeles Rams
12-29: @ Seattle Seahawks, 1:25pm

2019 Draft Class
1. DE Nick Bosa, Ohio State
2. WR Deebo Samuel, South Carolina
3. WR Jalen Hurd, Baylor
4. P Mitch Wishnowsky, Utah
5. LB Dre Greenlaw, Arkansas
6. TE Kaden Smith, Stanford
6. OT Justin Skule, Vanderbilt
6. DB Tim Harris, Virginia
 
2018 Prognostications
Closest to the Pin:
  Mr Fletch: 7-9

Bakkentom: 8-8
Grumpy: 8-8
Winder: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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