Blog Archives

Buzzkill Edition

We’re a week and a half into the offseason, and no 49er player has yet been arrested. Super Bowl here we come! There seems to be a ground swell of optimism forming for the 2019 season, unlike any season in,

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Rams 48, 49ers 32

Drama got no favors from the 49ers this year. It took three games to boot it from the season (Jimmy Garoppolo tears ACL), but only two possessions (fumble, interception) to erase it from the final game. Along the way, George Kittle

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bears 14, 49ers 9

The Chicago Bears brought some old-fashioned smash-mouth football to Santa Clara Sunday afternoon. They shut down the 49ers running game, then shut down their passing  game, then shut them out in the second half, and finally sent 25% of the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 26, Seahawks 23

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! After ten straight thumpings, the 49ers finally rose up and smote down the Seattle effing Seahawks. I’m still pinching myself, Shirley. Sunday’s victory was the biggest win of the Kyle Shanahan era

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 20, Broncos 14

Every dog has its day and Sunday the 49ers had their second WTF Dog Day of the year. The first was against the Raiders and this was against the Broncos. And both of them  were engineered by Nick Mullens, who has

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Trending Up Meets Trending Down

The Broncos were left for dead last month. Their record was 3-6. Now it’s 6-6, after dispatching the Chargers and Steelers, and they might just slip into the playoffs if they keep on winning. Imagine their delight to find the

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Posted in Game Previews

Giants 27, 49ers 23

That was a pretty entertaining game between two evenly matched teams, which is not what you want to say when the team you’re matched up evenly with came into the game with the worst record in the NFC and exited

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Cardinals 18, 49ers 15

I confess I missed some of the “action” in Sunday’s game against the Cardinals. I kept getting distracted by some paint drying on a nearby wall. Apparently, Bradley Pinion was winning a spirited punting duel against former 49er Andy Lee, with 7

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Worst a Shire Marathon

The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,

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Posted in Game Previews

Carrot and Stick

The Rams and 49ers have not been relevant in the same season since about 2002. But they’ve certainly both been irrelevant in quite a few of those years. We’ve got to get these two synced up if there’s ever going

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Posted in Game Previews

Chargers 29, 49ers 27

Sunday’s 49ers looked a lot like last year’s 49ers. Gritty, competitive, never-say-die, back-and-forth nail-biter but short end of the stick.  Just enough positive play to stay in the game and just enough mistakes to lose. CJ Beathard filled in admirably

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Respect, Just a Little Bit

Gloomy week in 49erville. HC Kyle Shanahan must be feeling a little snake bit these days. Every time he brings in a player to help the team, that player ends up on IR. If this keeps up, players are going

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Posted in Game Previews

Chiefs 38, 49ers 27

The 49ers season swirled down the toilet Sunday afternoon against the Kansas City Chiefs when late in the game QB Jimmy Garoppolo recklessly went for a couple more yards instead of stepping out of bounds. As he planted his left

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Kansas City Star, That’s What He Are

At the beginning of the season, nearly everyone figured the 49ers’ record after two games would be 1-1. There were a couple of guys who felt differently, but they have now clunked to the bottom of the “Prognostications” list, where

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 30, Lions 27

As expected, the 49ers rebounded from their loss in Minnesota to easily barely handle the toothless scrappy Detroit Lions. After controlling the game for three quarters, the Niners held a 17 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Vikings 24, 49ers 16

Jimmy Garoppolo is human after all. His NFL unbeaten record came to a crashing halt Sunday in Minnesota, as the Vikings handed Jimmy his first taste of professional defeat after seven consecutive wins. Minnesota QB Kirk Cousins played the kind

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Opening Bell

It’s one week until the gates open on the 2018 NFL season. Which means it’s time to throw our brains on the table and cough up our annual predictions of what the 49ers’ record will be this year. As usual,

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Posted in Game Previews

Colts 23, 49ers 17

The 49ers cleverly disguised their offensive juggernaut Saturday night, pretending to hit a brick wall against the lowly AFC South cellar dwelling Indianapolis Colts. You can almost hear the snores emanating from the game plan rooms of DCs around the

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Posted in Exhibition Season

Coming Attractions

Less than three weeks until the 49ers’ Training Camp opens and we start separating the men from the boys. One of my favorite times of the year. All the OTA standouts and over-hyped draft picks get their first taste of

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Posted in Vacant Observations

There’s a Bar Up Above

Five more weeks of the offseason before we begin to see if Kyle Shanahan can emulate Jim Harbaugh by taking a 6-10 team and turning it into a 13-3 playoff team. Some might say that’s not a fair contest, since

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Roster Review

The 49ers defense ranked 24th last year. 22nd against the pass and 22nd against the run. The offense was 12th in yards and 20th in points. 9th in passing yards, 21st in rushing yards. It’s tough to draw too many

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

What Lies Belief

A week after the Draft, and opinions are running the usual gamut. The glass-half-full guys are focusing on all the good reports, tape, and upside of the drafted boys. Feeling justified in their optimism. The glass-half-empty crowd see the foibles

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Posted in FOS Speculation
2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30
10-21, L: Rams 39, 49ers 10
10-28, L: Cardinals 18, 49ers 15
11-1, W: 49ers 34, Raiders 3
11-12, L: Giants 27, 49ers 23
11-25, L: Tampa 27, 49ers 9
12-2, L: Seattle 43, 49ers 16
12-9, W: 49ers 20, Broncos 14
12-16, W: 49ers 26, Seattle 23
12-23, L Bears 14, 49ers 9
12-30, L: Rams 48, 49ers 32
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Closest to the Pin:
  Mr Fletch: 7-9

Bakkentom: 8-8
Grumpy: 8-8
Winder: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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