Blog Archives

Lynch Review

GM John Lynch has been a bit chirpy lately, and no wonder. When Jimmy Garoppolo fell into his lap last October, his job security skyrocketed. Without that bit of luck, the 49ers would have had to sign Kirk Cousins and

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Grabbing the Spotlight

GM John Lynch made some strange statements last week. If we didn’t know that Lynch and HC Kyle Shanahan were BFFs and pulling on the same oar, one might think Lynch was puffing himself up at Shanahan’s expense. Lynch was

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Go Ask Alice, I Think She’ll Know

The NFC West spun off its axis last week, with the Seahawks throwing in the towel, the Rams gearing up to defend against Jimmy Garoppolo, and the 49ers signing Richard (formerly Dickhead) Sherman, perhaps the most hated rival of the

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Posted in NFC West Gossip

Good News, Bad News

I suppose it’s time to crack open the door to the 2018 offseason. When we last viewed the 49ers, they were in the process of beating three playoff teams to close out the year on a five game winning streak.

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Posted in Vacant Observations

As the Alex Turns

The first week of the 2018 offseason has passed quietly into history, taking with it all the nothingness of its existence. Although, to be fair, 1,063,462 persons around the globe croaked last week, so perhaps the week has significance to

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Conference Title Games

Bleccccchh! And another tedious NFL season bites the dust. Next up, two weeks of shameless, overhyped, self-aggrandizing nausea. Fortunately, this is a 49er site and we can legitimately ignore the whole pile of steaming hot crap. Sorry, but apparently I’ve

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Posted in FOS Speculation

49ers 25, Titans 23

It appears the 49ers have finally located a QB. In three games as the starter, Jimmy Garoppolo has been virtually unstoppable. He’s had two 300+ yard passing games, an almost extinct achievement this century. Two 4th quarter game winning drives

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 26, Texans 16

It took 45 games, but the post-Harbaugh 49ers have finally won two consecutive games! It’s probably no coincidence that both winning efforts were conducted by newly acquired QB Jimmy Garoppolo, who appears to have wisely used his three and a

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 15, Bears 14

The 49ers dominated the hapless Bears Sunday in Chicago, having a TOP edge of 38 to 21, a first down advantage of 23 to 8, 388 to 147 net yards lead, and a whopping 73 to 38 lead in offensive

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It’s Been Real

For the third consecutive year, the 49ers will travel to Chicago late in the season for a game against the Bears. The Third Annual Loser Litmus Test Game. Three years ago, then HC Jim Tomsula was handed a fluke OT

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Seahawks 24, 49ers 13

The 49ers’ massive one game winning streak finally came to an end Sunday in Santa Clara, as they wheezed to defeat against the Seattle Seahawks. The team conducted a spirited battle of nothingness in the first quarter, then the Seahawks

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Posted in Post Game Spread

2014 Draft: Day One

The 49ers stood pat at pick #30 in round one of the 2014 Draft and selected small school safety Jimmie Ward. There were no shouts of joy from the assembled multitudes at the team’s draft party HQ. Not much sis-boom-bah

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Posted in Draft Reaction
2018 Schedule
9-9: @ Vikings, 10:00 am Sun.
9-16: vs. Lions, 1:25 pm, Sun.
9-23: @ Chiefs, 10:00 am, Sun.
9-30: @ Chargers, 1:25 pm, Sun.
10-7: vs. Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
10-15: @ Packers, 5:15 pm, Mon.
10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
NJ49er: 6-10
Skeebers: 6-10
Bullit: 5-11
Mr Fletch: 5-11
RTFirefly: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
Winder: 4-12

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