The 49ers held some OTAs last week, and the guys were running around in their shorts doing athletic stuff. Titillating entertainment for the female population. Wimpy fake football to us manly men. The Niner beat writers seem very impressed with…
Blog Archives
OTA Waltz
Tagged with: 49ers, Brandon Jacobs, Chip Kelly, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Kyle Shanahan
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Cerebral Infarction Surgery
It’s the annual NFL Combine week, which means everybody most people many folks quite a few fans several guys a few boys NJ49er and Bullit will be glued to their TV screens this week. Happy tape measures and stop watches,…
Great Expectations
And away we go with another edition of the Jed York Follies! The hiring of Kyle Shanahan as the new Head Coach won’t be booed in too many gin joints in all the towns in all the world. But, pulling…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
For the third straight year, the 49ers are beating the bushes looking for a new regime to hopefully convince a skeptical fanbase that they know what they’re doing. Unfortunately for them, the fanbase is, by now, 100% sure that this…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Dennis Erickson, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Mike Nolan, Mike Singletary, Paraag Marathe, Scot McCloughan
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Seahawks 25, 49ers 23
After a brief foray into the land of the winning, a journey described hysterically by Blaine Gabbert‘s clueless backup as “huge” and “something to build on,” the 49ers reverted quickly back to the norm and tacked on a season ending…
Tagged with: Adam Gase, Blaine Gabbert, Chip Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Paraag Marathe, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Falcons 41, 49ers 13
The 49ers rolled to their 13th straight loss Sunday in Atlanta, extending their franchise record for consecutive losses. They also set the franchise record for most rushing yards given up in a season, which now stands at 2,468 yards. And…
Tagged with: 49ers, Atlanta Falcons, Blaine Gabbert, Chip Kelly, Christian Ponder, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Mike Singletary, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Wasn’t It a Long Way Down
Congratulations to the 2016 49ers. In the 68th year of the franchise, you guys have accomplished the awesomely difficult task of losing ten straight games, the most in team history. No mean feat. To think, only four years ago, this…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chicago Bears, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Joshua Garnett, Kevin White, Kyle Long, Lamarr Houston, New York Jets, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Saints 41, 49ers 23
The 49ers finally played a defense as nearly awful as their own Sunday, but it did not prevent them from streaking to their seventh consecutive loss. The Saints piled up 571 yards on the Niners, with the usual 200+ on…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert's Backup, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Drew Brees, DuJuan Harris, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Quinton Patton, Saints, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
The Poo Factory
We’re nearing the half way point of the 2016 season and a few things have become obvious: The team stinks. Fans hoped Chip Kelly would improve the offense and he has. Last year, the offense was near the bottom and…
Tagged with: 49ers, Anquan Boldin, Eric Mangini, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Matthew Stafford, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Worst a Shires Tilt
Here it is! All you washed up QB and/or Trent Baalke fans, this is the game for you! Finally, a game the 49ers might actually win. The Tampa Bay Bucs travel cross country, dragging their 2-3 record with them. 3,000…
Tagged with: 49ers, Bill Bidwill, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Tampa Bay Bucs, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Seahawks 37, 49ers 18
The Seahawks hadn’t scored a touchdown in their first two games of the season, but it only took three plays and 43 seconds to remedy that ailment against the inept 49ers Sunday in Seattle. They added three more, tossed in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Anquan Boldin, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Christine Michael, Deforest Buckner, Doug Baldwin, Greg Roman, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Jimmy Graham, Quinton Patton, Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Disarray Juggernaut
The Santa Clara 49ers. Bwaaaaahaaaahaaa!! Wow. What a mess these clowns have become. Is this a football franchise or a sensitivity session for late bloomers discovering their “blackness,” complete with throw back ’70’s afros to help sell the sincerity? Maybe…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Burbridge, Jed York, Jeff Driskel, Jim Tomsula, Trent Baalke
Posted in Waltzing Matilda
Posted in Waltzing Matilda
Texans 24, 49ers 13
The San Francisco 49ers trampled the Houston Texans in the first half of Sunday night’s exhibition game in Santa Clara, but two costly fumbles — one on the Houston two yard line that prevented a score and one Houston returned…
Tagged with: Blaine Gabbert, Brock Osweiler, Chip Kelly, Deforest Buckner, Houston Texans, Jeff Driskel, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Kendall Gaskins, San Francisco 49ers, Vance McDonald
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Happy Talk Time
Less than four weeks until Training Camp opens. Last year at this time, the players were excited about playing for Jim Tomsula. He was a lot easier on them in practices and meetings than his predecessor Jim Harbaugh. We all…
Long Odds
Your faithful scribe has been offline for a couple of weeks. In my absence, the 49ers have apparently been flying under the radar also, content to remain inconspicuous while the Warriors, Sharks, and Giants capture the attention of the Bay…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alex Boone, Anquan Boldin, Chip Kelly, Deforest Buckner, Hue Jackson, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Jimmie Ward, Joshua Garnett, Navorro Bowman, Scot McCloughan, Tramaine Brock, Trent Baalke, Zane Beadles
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
The Bust Maker
The 49ers haven’t come right out and admitted it, but their inactions during the Free Agency period have made it clear they have no intention of trying to be competitive this year. They are not even faking it. The 2016…
Tagged with: 49ers, Brandon Thomas, Bruce Ellington, Chip Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Corey Lemonier, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Marcus Martin, Quinton Patton, Tank Carradine, Trent Baalke, Vance McDonald
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Standing Pat
Two weeks into the FA period, it looks like GM Trent Baalke has concluded that last year’s 5-11 record wasn’t the least bit his fault. No, the roster’s fine. The record was all the fault of Jim Tomsula and Colin…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Bradley Pinion, Colin Kaepernick, Dan Kilgore, Eric Reid, Glenn Dorsey, Ian Williams, Jim Tomsula, Jimmie Ward, Joe Staley, Mike Purcell, Quinton Dial, Tank Carradine, Tony Jerod-Eddie, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Depleted Roster
It’s NFL Combine week, which means that February is down to its last useless week with a schedule of fittingly useless events that showcase certain peculiar athletic skills of a huge pile of college boys. All of this is a…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Jim Tomsula, Jimmie Ward, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Trent Watch
Pretty dead out there in the land of football yappity-yap. The great dead zone of February is upon us. New HC Chip Kelly probably can’t believe his luck. Hounded out of Philadelphia at the end of the 2015 season, considered…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Tom Gamble, Trent Baalke
Posted in Mindless Drivel
Posted in Mindless Drivel
Trivial Pursuits
The AFC SB contestants are a never ending parade of Peyton Manning teams, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger, with a one year fluke appearances by Joe Flacco, Trent Dilfer, and Rich Gannon. Going on 16 years now. Just those 3.03…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Brad Johnson, Cam Newton, Chip Kelly, Colin Kapernick, Donovan McNabb, Drew Brees, Eli Manning, Jake Delhomme, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Joe Flacco, Kerry Collins, Kurt Warner, Matt Hasselbeck, Peyton Manning, Rex Grossman, Rich Gannon, Russell Wilson, Scot McCloughan, Tom Brady, Trent Baalke, Trent Dilfer
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Chip and the Dip
Chip Kelly introduced himself to the Bay Area media Wednesday. It went well. None of the grunting, mumbling, sweating, stammering, furtive and incoherent rambling made notorious by his inept predecessor Jim Tomsula. Crisp, witty, intelligent. Terrific. If this was 2011,…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Dennis Erickson, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Mike Nolan, Mike Singletary, Steve Mariucci
Posted in Mindless Drivel
Posted in Mindless Drivel
Damage Control
Wildcard weekend was mostly entertaining. All four home teams lost. Two were beaten soundly and two snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, one via thug idiocy and the other via the traditional mode of gagging. If it’s any consolation,…
Tagged with: 49ers, Hue Jackson, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Trent Baalke
Posted in Angst 101
Posted in Angst 101