Blog Archives

2019 NFL Draft

It’s finally time for the 2019 NFL Draft. Three more days and John Lynch will be on the clock with the number two pick. Lynch had the number two pick two years ago and whiffed it. Solomon Thomas has been no better

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Posted in Draft Board

Return of the Jed

It was only a matter of time. For the past two years, Jed York has been quiet, almost invisible. Leaving Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch alone to do their jobs. Over the weekend, however, word leaked out of 49er HQ that York had

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Bring Me Your Lame …

The first week of Free Agency has come and gone. A lot of players changed teams and a lot of money changed hands. With the money being tossed at players these days, the “don’t let your kids play football” arguments are

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

High Anxiety

Meanwhile, back here in the bottom feeder section, this will be the fourth consecutive year the 49ers have drafted in the top ten. Consistency is usually a good thing, but not in this case. Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis is doing

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Staff Roulette

The 49ers leapt into the new year by firing their D-line coach, their Trainer, and their Strength & Conditioning fellow. The first pink slip is a bit puzzling since the D-line was one of the few areas of competence last

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Bring Your Gum Wads

The Chicago Bears come to town this weekend, fresh from clinching the NFC North division. They would be more tempted to mail this game in if not for the falling fortunes of the Rams which have suddenly made the last

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Posted in Game Previews

Buccaneers 27, 49ers 9

The 49ers responded to HC Kyle Shanahan‘s BYE week exhortations and threats by laying a turd Sunday in Tampa Bay. There were some bright spots littered within the fecal display. Rookie WR Dante Pettis got some playing time and caught 4 passes

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It’s Crowded at the Bottom

As the 2018 season enters the home stretch, many of you have already cast your thoughts forward to the 2019 season. And some of you have evidently dozed off and lost all interest. But the Outsider is duty bound to stay the course

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Worst a Shire Marathon

The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,

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Posted in Game Previews

Rams 39, 49ers 10

Judging by the score, you’d think the 49ers’ defense had a really bad day. But 27 of the Rams 39 points came on drives of 27, 21, 34, 27, and 13 yards. And another two on a blocked punt safety. The

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Caveat Emptor

Last call for NFL knuckleheads to crash their careers and wind up in the mug shot room. This time next week, they’ll all be back in the loving arms of coaches and baby sitters, safe from themselves. If the NFLPA

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Posted in Training Camp

Conference Title Games

Bleccccchh! And another tedious NFL season bites the dust. Next up, two weeks of shameless, overhyped, self-aggrandizing nausea. Fortunately, this is a 49er site and we can legitimately ignore the whole pile of steaming hot crap. Sorry, but apparently I’ve

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Posted in FOS Speculation

49ers 34, Rams 13

The Rams laid down like dogs, to quote possibly the only memorable thing Phil Simms ever said. With 17 substitutions to their starting lineup, they were no match for the rejuvenated 49ers, who easily swamped the B squad from L.A.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It’s Been Real

For the third consecutive year, the 49ers will travel to Chicago late in the season for a game against the Bears. The Third Annual Loser Litmus Test Game. Three years ago, then HC Jim Tomsula was handed a fluke OT

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

First vs Worst

The 49ers travel to Philadelphia this weekend for what will probably be a systematic and thorough disembowelment. The Eagles have the best record in the NFC and unless they fall apart down the stretch in a typical Philly meltdown, they

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Posted in Game Previews

Vikings 32, 49ers 31

Sunday night in Minnesota, the 49ers achieved something we haven’t see much of the past couple of years — they played an entertaining game. The offense looked NFL-like the entire game, and the defense was good in the first half.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

The Dulcet Tones of Pad Whacking

The Singletary Hill is back at the 49ers’ Training Camp, in the form of a 30 degree ramp. And right away, sending chills down the spine of every reasonably cognizant fan, video emerged of Jed York chubbing and huffing his

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Posted in Training Camp

The Long Road Back

By this time next week, the pads will be on and the 2017 NFL season will be officially grunting with activity. When Jed York hired John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan, he mentioned the word “culture” about a thousand times. Restoring

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Posted in Training Camp

Light It Up

Happy Independence Day, fellow citizens. In honor of this day, we will consume 150 million hot dogs, 71% of them covered with mustard. We will also spend $800 million on fireworks while decreasing the air quality by 42%. This day

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Take a Number

The 49ers close out their offseason practices this week. If you gleaned any useful information from these sessions, congratulations. Your drug of choice has served you well. Joe Montana‘s recent birthday was a painful reminder that we once had recognizable,

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

So Far, So Good

New GM John Lynch had a fairly sensational debut in his inaugural Draft, collaborating seamlessly with new HC Kyle Shanahan. They worked so well together, you could almost feel Jed York itching to jump in and take credit for their

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Posted in Draft Reaction

In and Out Burgh

Last week was a fun few days. Twelve new John Lynch 49er recruits, basically replacing 12 old Trent Baalke guys. None of the new players are likely to push the team into the playoffs next year, and many of them

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Posted in Delusional Therapy
2019 Schedule
9-8: W 49ers 31, Buccaneers 17
9-15: W 49ers 41,Bengals 17
9-22: W 49ers 24, Steelers 20
9-29: BYE

10-7: W 49ers 31, Browns 3
10-13: W 49ers 20, Rams 7
10-20: W 49ers 9, Washington 0
10-27: vs. Carolina Panthers, 1:05pm
10-31: @ Arizona Cardinals, 5:20pm

11-11: vs. Seattle Seahawks, 5:15pm
11-17: vs. Arizona Cardinals, 1:05pm
11-24: vs. Green Bay Packers, 1:25pm

12-1: @ Baltimore Ravens, 10am
12-8: @ New Orleans Saints, 10am
12-15: vs. Atlanta Falcons, 1:25pm
12-21 or 12-22: vs. Los Angeles Rams
12-29: @ Seattle Seahawks, 1:25pm

2019 Draft Class
1. DE Nick Bosa, Ohio State
2. WR Deebo Samuel, South Carolina
3. WR Jalen Hurd, Baylor
4. P Mitch Wishnowsky, Utah
5. LB Dre Greenlaw, Arkansas
6. TE Kaden Smith, Stanford
6. OT Justin Skule, Vanderbilt
6. DB Tim Harris, Virginia
 
2019 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 10-6
Bullit: 10-6
Grumpy: 9-7
Mr Fletch: 7-9
NJ49er: 7-9
Skeebers: 8-8
Winder: 7-9

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