Blog Archives

Seahawks 37, 49ers 18

The Seahawks hadn’t scored a touchdown in their first two games of the season, but it only took three plays and 43 seconds to remedy that ailment against the inept 49ers Sunday in Seattle. They added three more, tossed in

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Forward to the Past

The marketing wing at 4949 Centennial Blvd. has officially scrapped the “Quest for Six” slogan and replaced it with “Hooray, We Suck” banners for the 2015 season. Santa Clara tax dollars at work. The 49ers will be holding a rookie

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in The Usual Suspects

Stepper Uppers Needed

Jed York checked his mouth into rehab after the owners’ meetings last week, so there has been some quiet time these days. Pity. What will we do for amusement? Poor young Jed. A year ago, he was the toast of

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Jed York Sucks

The long offseason begins. Seeing Russell Wilson and the Seahawks discover Sunday that they were not an invincible force was a pleasant send off to the 2014 year. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing a bunch of crass and arrogant blowhards

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes

As the QB Turns

The Super Bowl next Sunday will be a win-lose proposition for 49er fans. One of these despised franchises will have to lose the game, but one of them will have to win it, too. We’ll either see Bill Belichick and

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Raiders 24, 49ers 13

The 49er season, and probably the Jim Harbaugh era, came to an ignominious end Sunday in Oakland. The team is in such disarray and so riddled with injuries that it’s difficult to see them winning another game this season. The

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Broncos 34, 49ers 0

The 49ers christened their new stadium by offering us a throwback game to 2005, the year Jed York christened himself as the new owner. A thoroughly tidy demolishing by the Denver Broncos was the result, 34-0. Anybody still think watching

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Sic Transit Offseason

One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th. The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Summer Wind

OTAs and minicamp have ended. The players now have five weeks or so of dangerous freedom before the start of Training Camp. Plenty of time to do something insane, like hoisting a huge party, shooting assault rifles from your roof

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Reading the Fine Print

I guess Colin Kaepernick is going to be the 49er QB for awhile. His parents are probably out mansion hunting as we very speak. That’s our boy! And let’s hear it for franchise MVP Paraag Marthe, who once again delivered

Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Knothole Report

Your intrepid reporter spent the Memorial Day weekend in Santa Clara. Naturally, I couldn’t resist driving over to check out the new stadium. There was a chain link fence surrounding it and guards at the northwest and the northeast entrances,

Tagged with: , , ,
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

The Big Three

Some 49er fans (and a few beat writers) are skeptical that the team will open up the offense this coming season, spreading it out and running 3-wide formations abundantly. After all, Trent Baalke just drafted a couple more big, bruising

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vacant Observations

2014 Draft Recap

Hats off to 49ers GM Trent Baalke, who put on an amazing show at the 2014 NFL Draft. Maybe he was juiced up by all the offseason talk about who had more value to the franchise — him or Jim

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Draft Reaction

Orlando Gazette

49ers HC Jim Harbaugh says Frank Gore has three more good years left in his tank. He also says the team needs a 3rd WR who can get open and make plays. If this site endorsed sarcasm, we might reply,

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vacant Observations

Table Scraps

February bids us adieu today and you won’t catch me shedding any tears for this midget month. Condolences to all of you born in this end of the Zodiac squirt. Trust me, it explains everything that’s gone wrong in your

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Vacant Observations

New World Order

It’s Super Bowl week. I hated it last year, when it was all about the 49ers, so there’s no way in hell it will be enjoyable this year when it focuses on the Douchebags of the Northwest. If there’s another

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Theoretical Physics

The St. Louis Rams come to town Sunday, fresh from shellacking Indianapolis 38-8 and Chicago 42-21. Goodness. These fellows don’t seem to be the same team the 49ers mauled 35-11 back in September. The biggest change has been the emergence

Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Saints 23, 49ers 20

It was a game the offense deserved to lose and a game the defense deserved to win. In the end, the home town refs stepped in to prevent the defensive win by negating a strip sack fumble with a cheesy

Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Lowered Expectations

Bouquets have been pouring into 49er HQ this week, with encouraging sentiments such as “GET AN OFFENSE, YOU STINKING BUMS!” OC Greg Roman seems to be getting the most bouquets, followed closely by QB Colin Kaepernick and the group politely

Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Delusional Therapy

Fall From Grace

This is normally the time we disparage our upcoming opponents and scoff at any notion they might be able to beat the mighty 49ers. Two wallopings in a row kind of takes the swagger off the mighty, though. I hope

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

They’re Out There

The 49ers will hold their three day minicamp this week, Tuesday through Thursday. The practices will be open to the public, as mandated by the league. Understandably miffed by this open door dictate, Jim Harbaugh will hold the practices 100

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

The Suck Pit

Embarking on Day Three of Coping With Tragedy. Shock, denial, anger, grief, acceptance. Blah, blah, blah. This sucks. Holy banana peels! How could we not get that ball into the stinking end zone? Then again, why not? We beat ourselves

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

Archives