Blog Archives

Job Listings

Only three more weeks before the bill starts coming due on Jed York‘s offseason catastrophe. Currently, there are four jobs up for grabs as we head into Training Camp: LDE, RCB, RG, and slot CB. The LDE winner will be

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Posted in Training Camp

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

March of Many Dimes

The 2015 Free Agent market opens for business on Tuesday at 1:00pm PST, as well as the new NFL year. Bear in mind, Seattle still lost the Super Bowl to end the 2014 season and the jeering period has not

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Hit The Road, Jack

With one week left before the start of Free Agency, the 49ers have yet to re-sign any of their soon to be unrestricted players. All of these fellows are more likely to get better offers from other teams than what

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Farewell Parties

Just over three weeks until the start of Free Agency. Hopefully, that will give the 49ers’ FO enough time to finish assembling an entire coaching staff, or at least parading them out there in a formal introduction. But, maybe Jim

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Raiders 24, 49ers 13

The 49er season, and probably the Jim Harbaugh era, came to an ignominious end Sunday in Oakland. The team is in such disarray and so riddled with injuries that it’s difficult to see them winning another game this season. The

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 28, Cowboys 17

The San Francisco 49ers bullied their way to a 28-3 halftime lead over the inept Dallas Cowboys, then spent the second half running out the clock, instead of running up the score. How polite. Along the way, Frank Gore went

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Sic Transit Offseason

One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th. The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Summer Wind

OTAs and minicamp have ended. The players now have five weeks or so of dangerous freedom before the start of Training Camp. Plenty of time to do something insane, like hoisting a huge party, shooting assault rifles from your roof

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Baalke’s Big Adventure

Here we are at last. The 2014 NFL Draft will actually, finally, mercifully take place this week, beginning Thursday evening. The 49ers have the 30th pick in the first round and just about nobody expects them to sit waiting to

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Posted in Draft Board

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

New Blood

When the 49ers start the 2014 season, almost half the defense will be different than the one that started the 2013 season. DC Vic Fangio will have his biggest challenge since taking over the job in 2011. The team will

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Mug Shot Patrol

The past week has not been a good one for the 49ers. Train wreck about covers it. On Sunday, OLB extraordinaire Aldon Smith went off the rails yet again, getting arrested in L.A. for a false report of a bomb.

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Miami Vice

The 49ers are reportedly anxious to get Colin Kaepernick into camp so they can work on his mechanics. Really? They’ve had him for three years now and are just getting around to his mechanics? Hmmmm. This looks suspiciously like a

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Price Is Right

The world waits breathlessly to find out which team will bite the bullet and sign Desean Jackson and instantly become Super Bowl contenders. Apparently, every team in the league wants to sign him — at the right price. The “right

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Posted in FOS Speculation

New World Order

It’s Super Bowl week. I hated it last year, when it was all about the 49ers, so there’s no way in hell it will be enjoyable this year when it focuses on the Douchebags of the Northwest. If there’s another

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Fab Rehab Team

The second of three OTAs begins Tuesday and hopefully we will not hear anything newsworthy from this three day practice session. If there’s real news, it’s going to be bad. Otherwise, everyone is looking great and ready to have a

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Roster Roulette

Last year, the 49ers returned all 22 starters on offense and defense. Ergo sumatra, there was no place for any of the 2012 rookies to squeeze into the starting lineup. That’s not the case this year. There are three vacancies

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Posted in Noggin Scratching

Board Walk

Poking around the internet through the various mock drafts, it appears the consensus first round pick the 49ers are expected to make is FS Eric Reid. Or Alabama DT Jesse Williams. Or LSU SS Matt Elam, or S Jonathan Cyprien

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Lip O Suck Shun

Easter has come and gone, and those of you who attempt to give devout behavior at least a smidgeon of your attention can now ease back into your wicked and sinful ways. Those of you who are devoutless devotees can

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Bargain Hunting

The 2013 offseason has been a bit of a yawner so far. Not that we expected much more. When you have fourteen draft picks, it’s pretty obvious where the mustard will be squoozed this year. Getting Anquan Boldin for virtually

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Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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