The 49ers held some OTAs last week, and the guys were running around in their shorts doing athletic stuff. Titillating entertainment for the female population. Wimpy fake football to us manly men. The Niner beat writers seem very impressed with…
Blog Archives
OTA Waltz
Tagged with: 49ers, Brandon Jacobs, Chip Kelly, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Kyle Shanahan
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Cerebral Infarction Surgery
It’s the annual NFL Combine week, which means everybody most people many folks quite a few fans several guys a few boys NJ49er and Bullit will be glued to their TV screens this week. Happy tape measures and stop watches,…
Great Expectations
And away we go with another edition of the Jed York Follies! The hiring of Kyle Shanahan as the new Head Coach won’t be booed in too many gin joints in all the towns in all the world. But, pulling…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
For the third straight year, the 49ers are beating the bushes looking for a new regime to hopefully convince a skeptical fanbase that they know what they’re doing. Unfortunately for them, the fanbase is, by now, 100% sure that this…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Dennis Erickson, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Mike Nolan, Mike Singletary, Paraag Marathe, Scot McCloughan
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Seahawks 25, 49ers 23
After a brief foray into the land of the winning, a journey described hysterically by Blaine Gabbert‘s clueless backup as “huge” and “something to build on,” the 49ers reverted quickly back to the norm and tacked on a season ending…
Tagged with: Adam Gase, Blaine Gabbert, Chip Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Paraag Marathe, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
When Bums Collide
The 49ers have lost 13 straight. The Rams have lost 5 in a row. Yes, the folks in Los Angeles will be streaming into the stadium this Saturday. After all, everybody likes a good train wreck and this game involves…
Falcons 41, 49ers 13
The 49ers rolled to their 13th straight loss Sunday in Atlanta, extending their franchise record for consecutive losses. They also set the franchise record for most rushing yards given up in a season, which now stands at 2,468 yards. And…
Tagged with: 49ers, Atlanta Falcons, Blaine Gabbert, Chip Kelly, Christian Ponder, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Mike Singletary, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Another Trip to the Woodshed
Last Sunday, Atlanta laid such a relentless whipping on the Rams that it sent LA’s HC Jeff Fisher out the door and into the unemployment line. Next Sunday, the Falcons will quite likely administer the same sort of beat down…
Tagged with: Atlanta Falcons, Chip Kelly, Christian Ponder, Jed York, Jeff Fisher, Jim Harbaugh, San Franisco 49ers
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Jets 23, 49ers 17
The Good: Sorry, we got nothing for you here. Zip, nada, zilch, nope, fuggeddabouddit. The Bad: Twelve straight losses, the 2016 49ers continue their march into the franchise history books. And they aren’t done yet. The Weird: The team has…
Tagged with: Bilal Powel, Blaine Gabbert, Bryce Petty, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Jed York, New York Jets, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Aiming For Infamy
Some good games on tap for Thanksgiving this year. Minnesota vs Detroit for NFC North supremacy, Dallas vs Washington for the NFC East, and Pittsburgh vs Indianapolis for two teams trying to stay alive in crappy divisions. The 49ers won’t…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Miami Dolphins, Mike Nolan, Paraag Marathe, Scot McCloughan, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Journey to the Center of Nowhere
The San Francisco 49ers set the franchise’s 21st Century gold standard of stinkitude in 2004, finishing the season with a 2-14 record. That was the last year of Troy Donahue‘s inept GM indifference and John York‘s visibility as the face…
Tagged with: 49ers, Cardinals, Chip Kelly, David Johnson, Jed York, John York, Troy Donahue
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Saints 41, 49ers 23
The 49ers finally played a defense as nearly awful as their own Sunday, but it did not prevent them from streaking to their seventh consecutive loss. The Saints piled up 571 yards on the Niners, with the usual 200+ on…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert's Backup, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Drew Brees, DuJuan Harris, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Quinton Patton, Saints, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Buccaneers 34, 49ers 17
The 49ers roared out to a 14-0 lead in the first quarter Sunday, then got drubbed 34-3 the rest of the game. At home. Against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Let’s pause for a moment of quiet reflection now. [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Whew!…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Lynch, Bradley Pinion, Chip Kelly, Eric Reid, Jed York, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Worst a Shires Tilt
Here it is! All you washed up QB and/or Trent Baalke fans, this is the game for you! Finally, a game the 49ers might actually win. The Tampa Bay Bucs travel cross country, dragging their 2-3 record with them. 3,000…
Tagged with: 49ers, Bill Bidwill, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Tampa Bay Bucs, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Bills 45, 49ers 16
Noooooope! Neeeeeeeeeeext! The 49ers’ washed up, overpaid backup QB led the team to a 45-16 walloping in Buffalo Sunday, completing 45% of his passes, getting sacked three times, fumbling once, producing the lowest point total of the year, and generally…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Bills, Chip Kelly, Deforest Buckner, Eli Harold, Eric Reid, Jed York, Phil Dawson, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Return of the Jerk
The 49ers are five games into the 2016 season and already the year is a lost cause. So, why not re-insert a lost cause at QB? At this point that is just cosmetic whimsy. It’s GM Trent Baalke‘s hand picked…
Cardinals 33, 49ers 21
The 49ers and Cardinals spent the first half of their Thursday night game trying to cure the nations’s insomnia problem. Then, just before the first half ended, the Niners discovered they had a 7-0 lead and needed to jump start…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Cardinals, Chip Kelly, David Johnson, Drew Stanton, Jed York, Jeremy Kerley, Larry Fitzgerald, Tramaine Brock, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Cowboys 24, 49ers 17
For one shining quarter, the Chip Kelly offense lived up to its hype. The 49ers roared out to a 14-0 lead, scoring their second TD one minute into the second quarter. From there on out, it was Cowboys 24 and…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Colon Crapperdick, Cowboys, Deforest Buckner, Ezekiel Elliott, Jeremy Kerley, Quinton Patton, Torrey Smith, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 37, 49ers 18
The Seahawks hadn’t scored a touchdown in their first two games of the season, but it only took three plays and 43 seconds to remedy that ailment against the inept 49ers Sunday in Seattle. They added three more, tossed in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Anquan Boldin, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Christine Michael, Deforest Buckner, Doug Baldwin, Greg Roman, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Jimmy Graham, Quinton Patton, Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
49ers 28, Rams 0
Well, that was surprising. Not the victory so much as the magnitude of it. Chip Kelly and Blaine Gabbert, two NFL entities pretty much consigned to the scrap heap by league “experts” and “insiders,” stuck the old thumb in the…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Cam Newton, Carlos Hyde, Caroling Panthers, Case Keenum, Chip Kelly, Jared Goff, Jerome Kerley, Quinton Patton, Rams, Seattle Seahawks, Todd Gurley, Vance McDonald
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread