Blog Archives

Giants 30, 49ers 27

Close, but no seegar. For the second straight week, the 49ers wracked up a moral victory. And also lost their fourth game in a row. Last week, the defense was respectable and the offense stunk. This week the offense actually

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 20, Vikings 3

The 49ers averted the prospect of an 0-16 season Monday night by showing up for the game. The Vikings mistakenly thought it was another pre-season affair and gave Adrian Peterson the night off, while toying with the idea of centering

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Training Camp 2015

The 2014 offseason will close up shop this weekend, taking its rightful place among the darkest chapters in 49er history. A truly ghastly effort by the dirtbag young owner and an insult to 49er fans everywhere. Next up, two weeks

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Posted in Training Camp

Coming Soon: The Not Harbaugh Era

The NFC West has one team that knows it will be in the playoffs, one team that assumes it will make the playoffs, and one team that hopes to make the playoffs. And one team that will be wildly enthusiastic

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Posted in Training Camp

The Great Divide

It’s been a long time since the blogosphere was this polarized. Not since the pre-Harbaugh days of Alex Smith. Heading into the 2015 season, bloggers either think the franchise is just fine, or they think it’s become a laughingstock. There’s

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Draft Bier

Draft frenzy is in full swing these days. The Draft itself is quite enjoyable, but the pre-draft hoopla can be a bit taxing. If this sort of entertainment is not one’s cup of tea, it’s like living in a one

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Combine Combo

The NFL Combine is underway in Indianapolis. In other news, … Head coaches from all 32 teams will be in attendance, and 31 of them will be urging each other to trample the 49ers this year. After all, if the

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Seahawks 17, 49ers 7

When you go into a game with third string CBs, backup ILBs, a third string NT, a third string C, a backup RT, two guards wondering where they’ll play next year, and a QB who panics as soon as he

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 17, Washington 13

The 49ers pulled another game out of their rear ends Sunday afternoon, stunning the disinterested Santa Clara minglers by scoring their first fourth quarter TD of the year! and oozing out a late victory. After falling behind 13-10, old guy

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Washington Circus Comes To Town

Washington comes to town this weekend to remind us all that, whatever our problems are or are perceived to be, some franchises have infinitely worse crap to deal with. This game should be a walkover, but the 49ers don’t do

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Posted in Game Previews

Once More, With Gusto

Aldon Smith did not return early from his nine game suspension this week, as many surmised he would. But, who cares? We don’t need him this week. After all, we’re playing the Rams! Again! Next week, however, either Aldon is

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 22, Chiefs 17

The San Francisco 49ers squeeeeeeeeeeeaked by the Kansas City Chiefs Sunday afternoon in Santa Clara, on a sweltering hot day featuring two bread and butter, meat and potatoes, lunch bucket blue collar football teams. The Chiefs started fast with two

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 28, Cowboys 17

The San Francisco 49ers bullied their way to a 28-3 halftime lead over the inept Dallas Cowboys, then spent the second half running out the clock, instead of running up the score. How polite. Along the way, Frank Gore went

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 21, Chargers 7

The spectacular 49er offense sputtered and clanked its way to a blowout 21-7 victory Sunday afternoon. After the starters got off the field, that is. Those bums played five and a half minutes into the second quarter and produced three

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Ravens 23, 49ers 3

On second thought, bring back the offseason! The 49ers suffered their ugliest loss since the first game of the Harbaugh Era, back in 2011 against the Saints. That game was 24-3 and this one was 23-3. Jim Harbaugh is now

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Visiting the Uglies

Sunday marked the end of life without football. R.I.P. hunk of shit dead air time. The 49ers tee it up Thursday night against the Ravens. Can’t wait to see Jewel Hampton blowing through holes opened up by Al Netter and

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Posted in Training Camp

The Church of Football Is Open

The players are back, the pads go on tomorrow, and in less than two weeks we’ll be watching a real fake football game. The final score doesn’t matter in these fake games, so they serve mainly as a warning to

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Posted in Training Camp

Everybody Lies

It’s Happy Talk time in the NFL. Every team is getting better, every change is for the best, every player is expecting to have a big year. Bah. Humbug. By the end of the year, a couple of teams will

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Knothole Report

Your intrepid reporter spent the Memorial Day weekend in Santa Clara. Naturally, I couldn’t resist driving over to check out the new stadium. There was a chain link fence surrounding it and guards at the northwest and the northeast entrances,

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Take A Number

The 49er rookies will tee off their NFL careers this weekend with a mandatory minicamp. Good luck, plebes. You’ll need it. Some of these kids will become household names in the coming years, maybe even some pro bowlers in the

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda
2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30

10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Winder: 8-8

Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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