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49ers 25, Ravens 20

In a battle of bleeding franchises, the 49ers leaked less than the Ravens Sunday, stopping their four game losing streak and notching their second win of the 2015 season. With the loss, the Ravens put themselves in contention for a

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Battle of the Suckitudes

The 49er players are treating their loss to the Giants as some sort of team victory and a sign that their fortunes are on the way up. That illusion has a chance to be bolstered this weekend with an actual

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Posted in Game Previews

Ravens 23, 49ers 3

On second thought, bring back the offseason! The 49ers suffered their ugliest loss since the first game of the Harbaugh Era, back in 2011 against the Saints. That game was 24-3 and this one was 23-3. Jim Harbaugh is now

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Super Bowl Face Plant

The 49ers gagged away their past and maybe their future Sunday night, losing disgracefully to the POS Baltimore Ravens 34-31. They were outcoached and outplayed by an inferior team in the biggest game of the year. Shameful. The 49ers had

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Wake Me When The Game Begins

The game cannot come soon enough. 100 mouths, 2,000 microphones, and still 5,000 game analyses to go before the kickoff. I put my head in the sand yesterday, but it didn’t work. There were two ostriches down there talking about

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Count Down to Destiny

For a whole new generation of 49er fans, this will be their first experience of the team in the Super Bowl. They can’t jump for joy like we oldsters could because their pants would fall off, but I’m sure they

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Posted in Vacant Observations

The Coma Before the Storm

For the past eighteen years, the last two weeks in January have been reserved for denial, anger, depression, avoidance — all the classic pysche tricks to deal with another disappointing end to the 49ers’ season. I was still a young

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Heart of a Champion

Before the NFC Championship Game, former San Francisco 49ers owner Eddie DeBartolo referred to the upcoming game as “just a warm up.” As it turned out, he was eerily correct. The 49ers took a quarter to warm up, while the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Break On Through

Here we are again. One year later and one game away from a trip to the Super Bowl. The 49ers must prevail Sunday or the world will surely end. Once again Jim Harbaugh and John Harbaugh both have their teams

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Posted in Game Previews

Power Shifts

The first decade of the 21st Century was dominated by three teams: the Colts, the Patriots, and the Steelers. Those three teams accounted for six of the ten SB champions. Philadelphia, Baltimore, and San Diego had good teams that always

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Post Trauma Ward

69,000,000 TV viewers watched Kyle Williams’ leg make naughty with the football in the NFC Title game. That’s a whole lot of peepers tuned into the worst moment of your life. I’m not sure what the worst moment of my

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Stuffed and Basted

The San Francisco 49ers Magical Mystery Tour ran out of hallucinogens Thursday night and the team crashed back to reality. Bummer, man. Not hard to figure this game out. Nine sacks. 125 yards of game altering penalties. Short end of

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Posted in Post Game Spread

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (just a little bit)

Harbaugh vs Harbaugh, Lewis vs Willis, Gore vs Rice, and Ravens D vs Niners D. These will be the story angles that will be beaten to death by the time Thursday’s game kicks off. We do not intend to flog

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Posted in Game Previews

Polls, Pols, and Phools

The San Francisco 49ers are currently the number two ranked team in the NFL. This is modestly up from the number 26 spot where the team was located at the beginning of the season. There’s a certain obligatory demand they

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Posted in Vacant Observations

The 13-10 Division

Next up, a wobbly tour through the “other” conference, the AFC. The one that provides asylum for undead owners. The Magic Carpet is already wafting over the NFC North, so we’ll save some breeze and take a glommer at the

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Posted in Around the League

Eyes of the Beholder

Yesterday, the 49ers rested from two days of strenuous OTA work. The reason for this break in the action is unclear. It could be that the hammies and groinies of the rookies need a little pampering after an off season

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Posted in Mindless Drivel
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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