Blog Archives

Back to You, Ed

NFL season: Take Two. Let’s try this again. Where were we? 0-3 and dead last in the NFC West. Next up, at Arizona. This would normally be an automatic 0-4, but the Cardinals seem to have fallen apart about as

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Posted in Game Previews

Long Odds

Your faithful scribe has been offline for a couple of weeks. In my absence, the 49ers have apparently been flying under the radar also, content to remain inconspicuous while the Warriors, Sharks, and Giants capture the attention of the Bay

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Not Good Enough

We’re finally down to the last dregs of the offseason. One more garbage game to go before the San Francisco 49ers become NFL roadkill. The team sent 15 nobodies packing on Monday and will say good-bye to another 22 after

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Posted in Exhibition Season

Rebuilt Retool

49er spring practices are over and there’s six weeks left until Training Camp opens and puts an end to this disastrous 2015 offseason. Still plenty of time left for more disasters, though, so stay tuned. It will be interesting to

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Enabler

New HC Jim Tomsula has stated that he won’t be involved in the offense or the defense this coming year, he’ll just be an “enabler.” Very clever. He can’t be blamed for a lousy O or a lousy D. I

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Posted in Tuesday Morning Waterboy

Raiders 24, 49ers 13

The 49er season, and probably the Jim Harbaugh era, came to an ignominious end Sunday in Oakland. The team is in such disarray and so riddled with injuries that it’s difficult to see them winning another game this season. The

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bourbon Street Blues

What a depressing week. Losing to the Rams, at home, is always depressing, but this time it was also embarrassing. The loss to a team that had no business even being in the game set off tremors to the franchise.

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Posted in Game Previews

Once More, With Gusto

Aldon Smith did not return early from his nine game suspension this week, as many surmised he would. But, who cares? We don’t need him this week. After all, we’re playing the Rams! Again! Next week, however, either Aldon is

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Posted in Game Previews

Place Your Bets

The exhibition games have concluded and we blognoscenti now have all the evidence we’re going to get about what kind of 49er team to expect in 2014. Ergo, it’s time for the annual crystal ball efforts. Roll the old orb

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Let the Big Dogs Eat

Through two exhibition games, the 49er scrubeenies have definitely gotten a lot of work. Most of it, in fact. The good news is the coaches have copious reams of tape for their cut-down day evaluations. The bad news is the

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Broncos 34, 49ers 0

The 49ers christened their new stadium by offering us a throwback game to 2005, the year Jed York christened himself as the new owner. A thoroughly tidy demolishing by the Denver Broncos was the result, 34-0. Anybody still think watching

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Ravens 23, 49ers 3

On second thought, bring back the offseason! The 49ers suffered their ugliest loss since the first game of the Harbaugh Era, back in 2011 against the Saints. That game was 24-3 and this one was 23-3. Jim Harbaugh is now

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Little Big Men

It only took three practices to answer the question about what to do with the crowded situation at running back. The answer was “Never mind.” First Kendall Hunter went out for the year with an ACL tear, then LaMichael James

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Posted in Training Camp

The Church of Football Is Open

The players are back, the pads go on tomorrow, and in less than two weeks we’ll be watching a real fake football game. The final score doesn’t matter in these fake games, so they serve mainly as a warning to

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Posted in Training Camp

Sic Transit Offseason

One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th. The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Summer Wind

OTAs and minicamp have ended. The players now have five weeks or so of dangerous freedom before the start of Training Camp. Plenty of time to do something insane, like hoisting a huge party, shooting assault rifles from your roof

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Glass Houses

It’s a good thing the NBA playoffs will be over soon, and not just for the usual reason of taking up space in the sports world. The recently deposed ruler of the Clippers, Donald Sterling, has hired 4 Private Eye

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Dumb Guy Gazette

It’s been 20 years since the 49ers last won a Super Bowl. During that time of failure and boredom, all of us have gone from young dumb guys to old dumb guys. If they go another 20 without one, some

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Posted in FOS Speculation

OTA Lift Off

The news out of camp from the year’s first OTA practices was mostly good. The best news was Michael Crabtree has not yet broken or maimed any part of his tootsies. In five years, he’s only started a season healthy

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Table Scraps

February bids us adieu today and you won’t catch me shedding any tears for this midget month. Condolences to all of you born in this end of the Zodiac squirt. Trust me, it explains everything that’s gone wrong in your

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Posted in Vacant Observations
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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