Blog Archives

49ers 27, Chiefs 17

The 49ers kicked off the Kyle Shanahan era with a dominating preseason win over the Kansas City Chiefs. They had 434 yards of offense and limited the Chiefs to 187. The Chiefs had only 31 yards rushing, which might be

Tagged with: , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Dink and Dunker Special

The 49ers haven’t won a game in Seattle since the 2011 season. They swept the Seahawks that year, split with them the next two years, and were skunked in 2014 and 2015. Still, our boys have a golden opportunity to

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Big Ass Parade

49er QB Colin Kaepernick laid a huge ass egg last Sunday in Arizona. He’s taken a big ass beating from the press all week because of it. An agonizing event like that can break a guy. Or it can be

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

49er 2015 Draft Recap

The results are in and we now know the names of the ten players who will waste their first year in the NFL learning schemes and systems from lousy coaches who will be fired in a year or two. Enjoy

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Draft Reaction

Hit The Road, Jack

With one week left before the start of Free Agency, the 49ers have yet to re-sign any of their soon to be unrestricted players. All of these fellows are more likely to get better offers from other teams than what

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation

Seahawks 17, 49ers 7

When you go into a game with third string CBs, backup ILBs, a third string NT, a third string C, a backup RT, two guards wondering where they’ll play next year, and a QB who panics as soon as he

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 17, Washington 13

The 49ers pulled another game out of their rear ends Sunday afternoon, stunning the disinterested Santa Clara minglers by scoring their first fourth quarter TD of the year! and oozing out a late victory. After falling behind 13-10, old guy

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Trap Game Warning

Most of us thought we’d be talking this week about a 4-5 team whose playoff chances were dangling by their last flimsy thread, needing to win out to get into the postseason. I might have led off this piece by

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

49ers 27, Saints 24

A funny thing happened while packing my offseason bags for the long trip to Miseryville, Siberia. That goofy little ball actually bounced out of Drew Brees’ hand and wobbled around until 49ers’ all-Rocky rookie ILB Chris Borland appropriately scooped it

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Bourbon Street Blues

What a depressing week. Losing to the Rams, at home, is always depressing, but this time it was also embarrassing. The loss to a team that had no business even being in the game set off tremors to the franchise.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Halfway House

How nice of the NFL to give the Niners a BYE week so the Bay Area can concentrate on rooting for the Giants to win the World Series. It’s been a strange beginning to the 2014 season. The new stadium

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Mindless Drivel

Cardinals 23, 49ers 14

For the third consecutive week, the 49ers jumped out to a first half lead, then imploded in the second half. The lead was big enough in the first game to withstand the brown out, but last week and this week,

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 28, Cowboys 17

The San Francisco 49ers bullied their way to a 28-3 halftime lead over the inept Dallas Cowboys, then spent the second half running out the clock, instead of running up the score. How polite. Along the way, Frank Gore went

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Showtime!

The NFL schedule makers have given the 49ers a wonderful way to start the 2014 season. A short trip to Texas for a humiliating butt kicking of the Dallas Cowboys. SF has gone to three straight NFC Title games and

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Game Previews

Little Big Men

It only took three practices to answer the question about what to do with the crowded situation at running back. The answer was “Never mind.” First Kendall Hunter went out for the year with an ACL tear, then LaMichael James

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Training Camp

49ers 27, Whatchamacallits 6

Look, Ma, a passing game! The 49ers found one in Washington Monday night, as well as a pass rush, and they whipped the Whatevers 27-6, regaining the sixth playoff seed held for a mere 24 hours by the Arizona Cardinals.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Post Game Spread

Football Is Back

As the 2013 NFL Offseason stinks quietly into the murky depths of history, it’s time to dust off the pom-poms and give it the old sis, boom, bah. Another exciting season of 49er football is about to begin. This year’s

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Training Camp

Transgressions Large and Larger

Spent the weekend agonizing over which was worse: clubbing a teammate with a beer bottle (Ahmad Brooks) or giving the finger to the entire 49er fan base (Colin Kaepernick). Drunken beligerence or clueless arrogance. Brooks is a defensive line type

Tagged with: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Angst 101

Slip Sliding Away

Contrary to perception and the blatherings of certified dipwads like Geraldo Rivera, who should have been sealed up in the bogus treasure cave of Al Capone rather than shamelessly continuing a charlatan journalism career, the NFL is 50% less likely

Tagged with: , , , , , ,
Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Roster Roulette

Last year, the 49ers returned all 22 starters on offense and defense. Ergo sumatra, there was no place for any of the 2012 rookies to squeeze into the starting lineup. That’s not the case this year. There are three vacancies

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Noggin Scratching

Class of 2013

The 49ers had three distinct areas of need (D-line, FS, and TE) going into the 2013 Draft and they addressed all three areas in the first two days. Whether the dresses added improve the comeliness of the product to the

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Draft Reaction

Opening Bell

I won’t lie to you, football is making a comeback in my heart strings. There’s a little humm baby thrumming in there. I swore I’d give the cold shoulder to this faithless, wanton, hussy for at least six months. Screw

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

Archives