After making debacle all down they legs and all over they feets in Chicago, the 49ers stank their way back to Santa Clara and began preparing for the equally stanky New York Jets this coming Sunday. These two franchises have…
Blog Archives
Wasn’t It a Long Way Down
Congratulations to the 2016 49ers. In the 68th year of the franchise, you guys have accomplished the awesomely difficult task of losing ten straight games, the most in team history. No mean feat. To think, only four years ago, this…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chicago Bears, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Joshua Garnett, Kevin White, Kyle Long, Lamarr Houston, New York Jets, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Dolphins 31, 49ers 24
Close, but no cigar. Or close, but light ’em up! Blaine Gabbert‘s backup took a mouthful of shoulder pad from Ndamukong Suh and Kiko Alonso at the two yard line as time ran out on his desperate attempt to be…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Garrett Celek, Jay Ajayi, Jed York, Joe Staley, Joe Thomas, Kiko Alonso, Miami Dolphins, Ndamukong Suh, Ryan Tannehill, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Aiming For Infamy
Some good games on tap for Thanksgiving this year. Minnesota vs Detroit for NFC North supremacy, Dallas vs Washington for the NFC East, and Pittsburgh vs Indianapolis for two teams trying to stay alive in crappy divisions. The 49ers won’t…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Miami Dolphins, Mike Nolan, Paraag Marathe, Scot McCloughan, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Journey to the Center of Nowhere
The San Francisco 49ers set the franchise’s 21st Century gold standard of stinkitude in 2004, finishing the season with a 2-14 record. That was the last year of Troy Donahue‘s inept GM indifference and John York‘s visibility as the face…
Tagged with: 49ers, Cardinals, Chip Kelly, David Johnson, Jed York, John York, Troy Donahue
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Saints 41, 49ers 23
The 49ers finally played a defense as nearly awful as their own Sunday, but it did not prevent them from streaking to their seventh consecutive loss. The Saints piled up 571 yards on the Niners, with the usual 200+ on…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert's Backup, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Drew Brees, DuJuan Harris, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Quinton Patton, Saints, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Keep the Streak Alive
The New Orleans Saints come calling this Sunday, no doubt looking eagerly forward to trashing the 49ers’ woeful defense. The Saints’ defense is no top drawer outfit, either, but if the game is a shootout, who you gonna call: Drew…
The Poo Factory
We’re nearing the half way point of the 2016 season and a few things have become obvious: The team stinks. Fans hoped Chip Kelly would improve the offense and he has. Last year, the offense was near the bottom and…
Tagged with: 49ers, Anquan Boldin, Eric Mangini, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Matthew Stafford, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Buccaneers 34, 49ers 17
The 49ers roared out to a 14-0 lead in the first quarter Sunday, then got drubbed 34-3 the rest of the game. At home. Against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Let’s pause for a moment of quiet reflection now. [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Whew!…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Lynch, Bradley Pinion, Chip Kelly, Eric Reid, Jed York, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Worst a Shires Tilt
Here it is! All you washed up QB and/or Trent Baalke fans, this is the game for you! Finally, a game the 49ers might actually win. The Tampa Bay Bucs travel cross country, dragging their 2-3 record with them. 3,000…
Tagged with: 49ers, Bill Bidwill, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Tampa Bay Bucs, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Bills 45, 49ers 16
Noooooope! Neeeeeeeeeeext! The 49ers’ washed up, overpaid backup QB led the team to a 45-16 walloping in Buffalo Sunday, completing 45% of his passes, getting sacked three times, fumbling once, producing the lowest point total of the year, and generally…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Bills, Chip Kelly, Deforest Buckner, Eli Harold, Eric Reid, Jed York, Phil Dawson, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Return of the Jerk
The 49ers are five games into the 2016 season and already the year is a lost cause. So, why not re-insert a lost cause at QB? At this point that is just cosmetic whimsy. It’s GM Trent Baalke‘s hand picked…
Cardinals 33, 49ers 21
The 49ers and Cardinals spent the first half of their Thursday night game trying to cure the nations’s insomnia problem. Then, just before the first half ended, the Niners discovered they had a 7-0 lead and needed to jump start…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Cardinals, Chip Kelly, David Johnson, Drew Stanton, Jed York, Jeremy Kerley, Larry Fitzgerald, Tramaine Brock, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
And the Least Shall Be Last
The 49ers and Cardinals meet tonight in a battle for the basement in the NFC West. That the Niners are engaged in this sort of tawdry affair is no surprise, but Arizona has been a surprise disappointment thus far in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Bruce Arians, Cardinals, Carlos Hyde, Carson Palmer, Dak Prescott, Deforest Buckner, Drew Stanton, Glenn Dorsey, Jake Delhomme, Jim Mora, Navorro Bowman, Quinton Dial, Russell Wilson, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Cowboys 24, 49ers 17
For one shining quarter, the Chip Kelly offense lived up to its hype. The 49ers roared out to a 14-0 lead, scoring their second TD one minute into the second quarter. From there on out, it was Cowboys 24 and…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Colon Crapperdick, Cowboys, Deforest Buckner, Ezekiel Elliott, Jeremy Kerley, Quinton Patton, Torrey Smith, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Lame Owners’ Bowl
The Jeckyll and Hyde 49ers return home this weekend to play the Cowboys, hoping the Doctor is in and not the other guy. The howls have already begun to yank Blaine Gabbert and try one of the other bust QBs…
Tagged with: 49ers, Antoine Bethea, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chris Davis, Dak Prescott, Dallas Cowboys, Dez Bryant, Doug Baldwin, Jerome Kearse, Jerry Jones, Jimmie Ward, Jimmy Graham, Rashard Robinson, Seattle Seahawks, Tony Romo, Tramaine Brock, Trent Baalke, Tyler Lockett
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Seahawks 37, 49ers 18
The Seahawks hadn’t scored a touchdown in their first two games of the season, but it only took three plays and 43 seconds to remedy that ailment against the inept 49ers Sunday in Seattle. They added three more, tossed in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Anquan Boldin, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chip Kelly, Christine Michael, Deforest Buckner, Doug Baldwin, Greg Roman, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Jimmy Graham, Quinton Patton, Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Dink and Dunker Special
The 49ers haven’t won a game in Seattle since the 2011 season. They swept the Seahawks that year, split with them the next two years, and were skunked in 2014 and 2015. Still, our boys have a golden opportunity to…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahmad Brooks, Cam Newton, Christine Michael, Marshawn Lynch, Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Panthers 46, 49ers 27
The 49ers dusted off the old rope-a-dope strategy Sunday versus Carolina by lulling the Panthers to sleep with an endless stream of three and out punts, counting on the Panthers to get careless with the ball. It worked! They got…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahmad Brroks, Andrew Tiller, Carlos Hyde, Fozzy Whittaker, Greg Olsen, Jimmie Ward, Joshua Garnett, Kelvin Benjamin. Blaine Gabbert, Marcus Martin, Panthers, Star Lotulelei, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread