Aside from 11 penalties, 5 fumbles, 1 interception, a 38-21 TOP walloping, and a 33-14 scoreboard stomping, the 49ers looked fairly decent Saturday night against Denver. They had no running game, which is not a good thing. Not against the…
Blog Archives
The Dulcet Tones of Pad Whacking
The Singletary Hill is back at the 49ers’ Training Camp, in the form of a 30 degree ramp. And right away, sending chills down the spine of every reasonably cognizant fan, video emerged of Jed York chubbing and huffing his…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Elvis Dumerville, George Kittle, Jed York, Jimmy Ward, Marquis Grissom, Reuben Foster, Trent Baalke, Trent Brown
Posted in Training Camp
Posted in Training Camp
The Long Road Back
By this time next week, the pads will be on and the 2017 NFL season will be officially grunting with activity. When Jed York hired John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan, he mentioned the word “culture” about a thousand times. Restoring…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Kyle Williams, Mike Nolan
Posted in Training Camp
Posted in Training Camp
Death Rattle of the 2017 Offseason
Less than two weeks, fellow disgruntlements! And a 99.9100% chance that as of 4:00pm ET Monday, Kirk Cousins will become became a 2018 Free Agent. And in the meantime … The Vegas odds makers and national media wonks all think…
Plot Lines
Less than a three weeks until Training Camp opens and we begin to sort out this mess of newbies wearing the Red and Gold. But I’m more enthused about the return of football in general than the Niners in particular.…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Carson Palmer, Colin Kaepernick, Jerry Jones, Jimmy Johnson, Kyle Shanahan, Scot McCloughan, Wade Phillips
Posted in Around the League
Posted in Around the League
Light It Up
Happy Independence Day, fellow citizens. In honor of this day, we will consume 150 million hot dogs, 71% of them covered with mustard. We will also spend $800 million on fireworks while decreasing the air quality by 42%. This day…
Coming Attractions
The 49ers have not had a franchise QB since Steve Young was knocked out of the NFL by Aeneas Williams at Arizona in 1999. They won’t have one this year, either. Making it 19 straight years with a deficiency at…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aeneas Williams, Alex Smith, Brian Hoyer, CJ Beathard, Colin Kaepernick, George Kittle, Jeff Garcia, Joe Montana, Joe Williams, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Russell Wilson, Steve Young, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Take a Number
The 49ers close out their offseason practices this week. If you gleaned any useful information from these sessions, congratulations. Your drug of choice has served you well. Joe Montana‘s recent birthday was a painful reminder that we once had recognizable,…
Tagged with: 49ers, Jed York, Joe Montana, Joe Staley, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Navorro Bowman
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
OTA Waltz
The 49ers held some OTAs last week, and the guys were running around in their shorts doing athletic stuff. Titillating entertainment for the female population. Wimpy fake football to us manly men. The Niner beat writers seem very impressed with…
Tagged with: 49ers, Brandon Jacobs, Chip Kelly, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Kyle Shanahan
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
The Price of Admission
OTAs are in the vicinity — around the corner, down the street, across the field, up the tree — somewhere out there. You can find them if so inclined. Not that your search will be rewarded, even if successful. Organized…
So Far, So Good
New GM John Lynch had a fairly sensational debut in his inaugural Draft, collaborating seamlessly with new HC Kyle Shanahan. They worked so well together, you could almost feel Jed York itching to jump in and take credit for their…
Tagged with: 49ers, Adam Peters, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, John Lynch, KD Cannon, Kyle Shanahan, Martin Mayhew, Paraag Marathe
Posted in Draft Reaction
Posted in Draft Reaction
2017 Draft
Day One Not a bad first day for the 49ers and greenhorn GM John Lynch‘s inaugural Draft. Lynch netted two defensive studs who should start immediately and provide needed improvement to the D-line pass rush (Solomon Thomas) and the ILB…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahkello Witherspoon, C.J. Beathard, John Lynch, NaVorrow Bowman, Patrick Willis, Reuben Foster, Solomon Thomas
Posted in Draft Reaction
Posted in Draft Reaction
Hello Goodbye
The endless pre-Draft piffle machine will finally, mercifully grind to a halt next Thursday night, when the Browns and 49ers step to the podium to make their 2017 first round selections. While DE Myles Garrett is the consensus number one…
Trial Balloon Float
Only 4,823 more mock drafts until the real Draft takes place! Curiously, every year at this time, players rise up and fall down the mock draft boards even though none of them are playing any games right now. How can…
In and Out Burgh
Last week was a fun few days. Twelve new John Lynch 49er recruits, basically replacing 12 old Trent Baalke guys. None of the new players are likely to push the team into the playoffs next year, and many of them…
Tagged with: 49ers, Dan Snyder, Earl Mitchell, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, John Lynch, Kirk Cousins, Kyle Juszczyk, Kyle Shanahan, Robert Saleh, Scot McCloughan, Trent Baalke
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Shopping Spree
The Rumor Mill has been spitting out a lot of juicy tidbits the past week, as the FA period nears. Big name cuts, trade scenarios real and ridiculous, and a promise from GM John Lynch that we fans should keep…
Tagged with: 49ers, Bruce Arians, Colin Kaepernick, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Matt Schaub
Posted in Vacant Observations
Posted in Vacant Observations
Cerebral Infarction Surgery
It’s the annual NFL Combine week, which means everybody most people many folks quite a few fans several guys a few boys NJ49er and Bullit will be glued to their TV screens this week. Happy tape measures and stop watches,…
Extreme Makeover
The 49ers have taken the term “cleaning house” to a level that would make an OCD housewife beam proudly. By the time Free Agency and the Draft have come and gone, the entire building will not have a clue who…
Tagged with: 49ers, Bill Walsh, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, John Lynch, John Madden, Kyle Shanahan, Matt Millen, Norv Turner, Trent Baalke
Posted in Vacant Observations
Posted in Vacant Observations
Scaled Up Opportunities
The offseason is mercifully upon us and the 49ers have finally introduced their third attempt to replace the highly successful former HC Jim Harbaugh. And their second attempt to replace the highly successful former GM Scot McCloughan. At least neither…
Tagged with: 49ers, Jim Harbaugh, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Scot McCloughan
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Great Expectations
And away we go with another edition of the Jed York Follies! The hiring of Kyle Shanahan as the new Head Coach won’t be booed in too many gin joints in all the towns in all the world. But, pulling…
Tagged with: 49ers, Chip Kelly, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
The Three Amigos
This year’s playoffs have been a lot like watching this year’s 49ers. Various versions of seeing a team get blown out of a game. Only two out of ten games have been nail biters. Some were over by the second…
Tagged with: 49ers, Brian Hampton, George Paton, Jed York, Jim Irsay, Kyle Shanahan, Paraag Marathe, Terry McDonough, Tom Gamble
Posted in The Usual Suspects
Posted in The Usual Suspects