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Cardinals 18, 49ers 15

The 49ers and Cardinals played a seesaw OT yawner in Arizona Sunday, but the end result was the same as the previous week’s seesaw donnybrook. Another loss. The Niners have played three straight games against their division opponents and lost

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Back to You, Ed

NFL season: Take Two. Let’s try this again. Where were we? 0-3 and dead last in the NFC West. Next up, at Arizona. This would normally be an automatic 0-4, but the Cardinals seem to have fallen apart about as

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Posted in Game Previews

Rams 41, 49ers 39

Wow. That was unexpected. After two straight defense-oriented yawners, the 49ers and Rams held an old fashioned offensive barn burner. Easily the most entertaining Niner game in years. The game was as evenly matched as you can get. Each team

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Seahawks 12, 49ers 9

The earth shook. The mountains trembled. Zeus fondled his lightning bolt. Time stood still. And there it was. With eleven minutes left in the 4th quarter in Seattle, the 49ers took a 9-6 lead. Zounds! Then Russell Wilson said, “Screw

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Panthers 23, 49ers 3

The 49ers finally halted their six year opening game magic by getting they guts stomped by the Carolina Panthers, even though the Panthers played poorly themselves. Double ouch. And so begins the Kyle Shanahan Era, three years into the Post

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49er Scrubs 23, Charger Scrubs 13

The 49ers wrapped up their exhibition season with a win over the L.A. Chargers, running their record to 2-2. WR/Kick returner Victor Bolden locked up a roster spot by blowing down the field for his second kick return TD, this

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Vikings 32, 49ers 31

Sunday night in Minnesota, the 49ers achieved something we haven’t see much of the past couple of years — they played an entertaining game. The offense looked NFL-like the entire game, and the defense was good in the first half.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Broncos 33, 49ers 14

Aside from 11 penalties, 5 fumbles, 1 interception, a 38-21 TOP walloping, and a 33-14 scoreboard stomping, the 49ers looked fairly decent Saturday night against Denver. They had no running game, which is not a good thing. Not against the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

The Dulcet Tones of Pad Whacking

The Singletary Hill is back at the 49ers’ Training Camp, in the form of a 30 degree ramp. And right away, sending chills down the spine of every reasonably cognizant fan, video emerged of Jed York chubbing and huffing his

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Posted in Training Camp

The Long Road Back

By this time next week, the pads will be on and the 2017 NFL season will be officially grunting with activity. When Jed York hired John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan, he mentioned the word “culture” about a thousand times. Restoring

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Posted in Training Camp

Death Rattle of the 2017 Offseason

Less than two weeks, fellow disgruntlements! And a 99.9100% chance that as of 4:00pm ET Monday, Kirk Cousins will become became a 2018 Free Agent. And in the meantime … The Vegas odds makers and national media wonks all think

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Plot Lines

Less than a three weeks until Training Camp opens and we begin to sort out this mess of newbies wearing the Red and Gold. But I’m more enthused about the return of football in general than the Niners in particular.

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Posted in Around the League

Light It Up

Happy Independence Day, fellow citizens. In honor of this day, we will consume 150 million hot dogs, 71% of them covered with mustard. We will also spend $800 million on fireworks while decreasing the air quality by 42%. This day

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Coming Attractions

The 49ers have not had a franchise QB since Steve Young was knocked out of the NFL by Aeneas Williams at Arizona in 1999. They won’t have one this year, either. Making it 19 straight years with a deficiency at

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Take a Number

The 49ers close out their offseason practices this week. If you gleaned any useful information from these sessions, congratulations. Your drug of choice has served you well. Joe Montana‘s recent birthday was a painful reminder that we once had recognizable,

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

OTA Waltz

The 49ers held some OTAs last week, and the guys were running around in their shorts doing athletic stuff. Titillating entertainment for the female population. Wimpy fake football to us manly men. The Niner beat writers seem very impressed with

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

The Price of Admission

OTAs are in the vicinity — around the corner, down the street, across the field, up the tree — somewhere out there. You can find them if so inclined. Not that your search will be rewarded, even if successful. Organized

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Posted in Vacant Observations

So Far, So Good

New GM John Lynch had a fairly sensational debut in his inaugural Draft, collaborating seamlessly with new HC Kyle Shanahan. They worked so well together, you could almost feel Jed York itching to jump in and take credit for their

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Posted in Draft Reaction

2017 Draft

Day One Not a bad first day for the 49ers and greenhorn GM John Lynch‘s inaugural Draft. Lynch netted two defensive studs who should start immediately and provide needed improvement to the D-line pass rush (Solomon Thomas) and the ILB

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Hello Goodbye

The endless pre-Draft piffle machine will finally, mercifully grind to a halt next Thursday night, when the Browns and 49ers step to the podium to make their 2017 first round selections. While DE Myles Garrett is the consensus number one

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Posted in Draft Board

Trial Balloon Float

Only 4,823 more mock drafts until the real Draft takes place! Curiously, every year at this time, players rise up and fall down the mock draft boards even though none of them are playing any games right now. How can

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Posted in Draft Board

Uncharted Waters

The Free Agency period seems to have run its course, leaving us with six weeks of mock drafts to grind through. Whizzo. There are still a few big names out there looking for work. Jay Cutler, Jamaal Charles, Adrian Paterson.

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Posted in Mindless Drivel
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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