The 49ers kick off their exhibition season this Saturday night against the Cowboys, who, I might mention, have not been to a Super Bowl in 24 years. Not one Title Game, either. Loooooooooozzzzers!!!
So, just when you think the world would be entirely better off without Jerry Jones in it, let’s remember he’s almost single-handedly brought an arrogant, overrated franchise to its worthless knees. Amen, brother! Looooooooooozzzzzers!!!
Each team has 37 players who won’t be on the team in four weeks, so this Scrub Bowl game is probably the most important game of the year for these 74 wannabes. And their families. And relatives. And guys who knew them in grade school. And cops who busted them for pot. And girl friends who are thinking twice about dumping them in high school.
That’s a lot of people who care about this game. None of them are us, however. No, we’re all steely-eyed experts who don’t bother with vanishing acts. If these characters are still on the roster come September, we’ll try to remember their jersey numbers on special teams plays. Maybe.
One thing that will hold some interest during this game will be the backup QB competition between Nick Mullens and CJ Beathard. Kyle Shanahan says the two are even, but everyone else knows that Mullens is the better QB. It’s probably not too much of a stretch to wonder whether Mullens is actually better than Jimmy Garoppolo.
But Shanahan used a third round draft pick on Beathard, and there’s a suspicion he’s biased a bit by this factoid to the detriment of Mullens. Which would also be to the detriment of the team and its fans.
Nothing like a little palace intrigue to spice up a meaningless exhibition game.