The first part of the offseason deals with hopes and needs (FA and the Draft). The second part features high (or low) expectations (a whole lot of bullshit). Then there’s part three, Training Camp and Preseason, when expectations are diluted by injuries. And finally, part four, when the season starts and we face reality.
It’s a nice, tidy annual four part drama.
Currently, we’re in Part Two, the bullshit sector, with a little over three weeks until things get interesting and NFL camps open for business.
This is normally the period where I would devote an entire post to the noble art of farting, but one of my nieces is writing a summer school paper on deviants in the family tree and I’m trying to stay under the radar a bit. At the moment, she thinks I’m a kindly old relic, and I’d like to continue her misconceptions a bit longer.
As far as I know, our family tree doesn’t feature any wild and crazy deviants, although the historian in the family has traced our roots back to one of the English kings in the Dark Ages, when powerful fellows seemed to have a great interest in cruelty and the instruments of torture, so who knows. Powerful guys nowadays seem more interested in paedophilia and trafficking children. It’s not hard to opine that the human spirit has not made much progress as time has marched along.
The 49ers haven’t made much progress for awhile, either. Maybe this year they’ll rise up out of the ashes and stun us all, like Bill Walsh‘s 1981 team did or Jim Harbaugh‘s 2011 team. Or maybe we’ll have to look back here from October or November and admit we were suckered in – once again – by the bullshit period of 2019.