Cardinals 28, 49ers 18

The 49ers won the battle for last place in the NFC West Sunday in Santa Clara by drubbing the Arizona Cardinals for three hours while cleverly keeping themselves off the scoreboard in the process of this complete butt whipping.

It was a tour de force effort of self-flagellation. Using bargain basement wide receivers, third string running backs, a porous offensive line, and a backup quarterback, the team nevertheless humiliated the lads from Arizona in every category but the scoreboard. They ran 92 plays to Arizona’s 49, held a TOP edge of 40 to 20, and a yardage dominance of 447 to 220.

How did these commandos accomplish a ten point defeat to secure last place? Tut-tut. They simply violated every precept of Jim Harbaugh‘s secret to winning football games: HANG ON TO THE EFFING FOOTBALL!!!!

QB CJ Beathard led the way, as leaders do, by heaving two interceptions and fumbling twice. Third string RB Raheem Mostert accounted for the other turnover by fumbling away his first carry of the day.

The Niners actually had the lead after an excellent game opening TD drive. But it only lasted ten seconds. After a botched extra point (a foreshadowing of the wondrous ignominy that would follow), Arizona took the following kickoff and promptly scored on a 75 yard TD pass, courtesy of CB Ahkello Witherspoon‘s traditionally inept coverage and FS Adrian Colbert‘s asleep at the wheel assistance.

If this game were played in Nevada, there would probably be a point-shaving investigation. But it was played in Santa Clara, where awful football has become the soup du jour. In fact, the Niners have not provided a single winning season to the gullible Santa Clarabels since moving there from San Francisco nearly five years ago. I’m assuming that will be the case this year, too. And it’s likely there will be no dissenting opinions from the audience. Even from the most optimistic specimens at large that might live in Florida!!!

With upcoming games against the Packers and Rams, the 49ers will not be in danger of losing their grip on the NFC West cellar. But after that, there will be a rematch with the Cardinals in Arizona. By that time, the Niners will be 1-6 and the Cardinals have a very good shot at the same record. It will be an epic showdown of inferior football and might lead Arizona to provide free sleeping bags for the money wasting idiots that actually attend the game.



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30 comments on “Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
  1. NJ49ERNo Gravatar says:

    Jed better think seriously about a visit with the Ohlone Elders.
    Not kidding.
    We’re Cursed.
    Make the call Jed.
    The Spirits need to be satisfied.
    Arrange a Detox.

  2. NJ49ERNo Gravatar says:

    Not to mention CJ has no pocket presence.
    Can’t feel it.
    Can’t move within it.
    This might be a more painful season than last year. We HAD expectations this year.

    Watch us get flexed out of Primetime games now.
    Final humiliation if that occurs.

  3. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    NJ

    Collin Johnson lists at 6’6″ 220 lbs and his brother is Kirk Johnson RB who is always hurt and 5th on depth chart.

    THe other WR is only a sophomore and is a highlight reel. That’s Lil Jordan Humphrey or LJ Humphrey who is 6’4″ 210 lbs and very talented.

    Contrast that to the OU receivers who are 5’9 180 lbs and burners in “Hollywood” Brown and LJ Lamb.

    Texas has knocked off 3 top 25 teams in U$C, TCU and OU this year

  4. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    As I’ve been saying for the last 7 years Niners need to draft a QB every year for developmental reasons and competition. At least take somebody on day 3 of the draft.

  5. winderNo Gravatar says:

    If there was ever a ‘heads will roll moment’ for the Niners this should be it. Whats happened to Witherspoon and Colberts just doesn’t make sense. There weaknesses have definitely been found out and it doesn’t seem like they can adjust. See ya.

  6. winderNo Gravatar says:

    The difference between a young A. Smith and CJ is that CJ hasn’t learned to roll right and throw it out of bounds. The kid hasn’t had the time to learn how to play at the pro level.

  7. NoFearNo Gravatar says:

    No need to blame dead Indians, NJ49er, this is the team brought to you by the pair of rookies (GM & HC) Niner fans can’t stop gushing about. It only looked better momentarily because of a lucky break from the out-of-the-blue contribution of the rarely benevolent Bill Belichick.

    The coaching is evidently quite as atrocious as the players’ piss poor performances and the play calling just as seriously disjointed. The normally solid Kittle and Staley even getting caught up in the melee of misfortune.

    The entertainment value is unmistakable, but was the intended tribute for Abbott and Costello or the Keystone Kops?

    Where’s the apology to the fans from the little man, York Jr, now?

  8. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Sorry I prefer Shanahan over the likes of Tomsula and Chip Kelly (who is struggling as the HC at UCLA).

    Lynch is 1000 times better than that lying SOB Baalke.

    Injuries have crippled this team and unfortunately the Niners don’t have a Steve Young as a backup QB.

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    What has hurt Shanahan/Lynch is the high expectations that they could turn this around quickly.

    Realistically year 3 and 4 is when they make the jump to be contenders as this was a rebuild job despite the gift from the Pats.

  10. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Beathard better have more pocket presence going forward because other teams will see the film and look for the strip sack because of his failure to pull the trigger making him a siting duck.

  11. winderNo Gravatar says:

    I agree about Lynch and KS, I still think they are our best shot. CJ made a bunch of mistakes but so did most of the team. It’s obvious that he’s not ready to run this team and maybe he never will be. I am more worried about some of the guy on defense that shined last year but have fallen flat on their faces this year. If I am Lynch I am totally pissed. I doubt there will be very many guaranteed jobs next year.

  12. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear I’ve convinced myself that, there might be some merit to those stories that appeared some time back, regarding the burial grounds of the Ohlone Tribe.
    Which adds to the underlying fever that beset us 9er Fans when that ‘Tribe’ from Ohio arrived. My self proclaimed Gohblome Paleskins to be exact.

    Some sort of High Spirits collision may have occurred when they broke ground in Santa Clara?
    Given that the Gohblomes’ won’t be vaporized anytime soon, maybe a Peace Treaty of some sort should be arranged with The Ohlone?
    This sh!t-show is getting harder and harder to fathom.

    Big Tee Pee, lot’s of sage smoke, see what happens.
    They’ve obviously pissed off a higher authority than us I’d think?

  13. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit it may have been Humphrey I was thinking of as well.

    All I can say now is that the higher the Pick we acquire, the better the odds (hopefully) that these brain-trusts can do something to improve this situation.
    Not impressed thus far, injuries not withstanding.
    This Secondary, which should be a Lynch specialty, ain’t getting it done.
    Coaching/talent/chicken/egg?
    Eff’n embarrassing.

    Given the drama surrounding the selection of Joe Williams last year, I’m suddenly not convinced there’s any meaningful depth of talent perception involved here between Lynch and Shanny.
    Lucky break perhaps with the Breida addition?
    Now an expensive FA investment on McKinnon with a major injury to recover from.
    The Curse continues.

  14. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Would like to see more of 3rd round pick Tarvarius Moore who so far has played 5 defensive snaps. I would rather see him get the experience at CB over Ward who I think is a lost cause.
    If he has to have growing pains this is the year for this to happen.

  15. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Given the injuries and ineffectiveness of our secondary, you’d think Moore would have played more than five snaps – if he was any good at all.

  16. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Watched some of the MNF game and high priced CB Josh Norman was getting lit up and was benched for awhile. Supposedly Norman is one of the elite corners making Top dollar but was either getting burned or getting penalties called on him.

  17. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    “Week 7, Oct. 21, the 4-1 Bengals and 5-0 Chiefs are being flexed to Sunday night. Rams-49ers, which was scheduled for that night, will be moved to 4:25 pm.”

  18. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    If you take away the Cards first offensive play 75 yard TD
    they only had 95 yards passing for the game. Take away that one play and the defense held the Cards to 145 tot5al yards of offense,

    Niners gave this game away just like Kyle Williams and his fumbles prevented a win over the Giants that would’ve put them into the Super Bowl. I’m still bitter about that one and won’t mention the guy with initials PR against the Cowgurls long ago.

  19. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Opening line is Niners a 9.5 point underdog at the frozen tundra that is Green Bay. That’s assuming Mason Crosby hits 3 FGs and an extra point.

    The offense was humming when Breida was in the game before his injury getting big chunks of yardage.

    Breida makes the offense much better now when he’s in the game as he can get to the edge.

    Juszczyk had his best game as a Niner with 87 yards of offense.

  20. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The MRI came back for Breida and it’s NOT an high ankle sprain which is good news but he’s still listed as doubtful.

    In the meantime the Niners worked out 4 running backs without signing any of them.

    Jaguars did sign a RB today picking up Jamaal Charles.

  21. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Practice squad moves made today

    Released
    DB Dexter McCoil
    WR Frank Stephens

    Signed
    RB Matthew Dayes
    OL Najee Toran
    DB Tyvis Powell

    Shanahan also says he’s looking for a practice squad QB

  22. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs I’m guessing we’ll get flexed out again before it’s all said and done.
    9ers/Raiders? 9ers/Giants?
    Ho Fuk’n Hum….

    Though the Raiders game is on TNF, (which might not carry a whole lot of ratings weight) and, MNF vs NYG might factor the same way, those games are sure nothing to make plans for.

    We’re Officially The NOT Ready for Primetime Players I guess?
    The Curse Continues……

  23. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Gotta think 9ers/Seattle SNF in December will get flexed out too.
    What an eff’n let down.

  24. bakkentomNo Gravatar says:

    Disappointing to see Joshua Garnett as the weekly inactive OG.

    Play him or trade him.

  25. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Hence the dilemma – Who Trades for a guy that isn’t playing?
    We’re a Sh!t-Show.

    Can’t entertain LevBell either, since a bazillion $$$$s are tied up in McKinnon now.
    I’d shop Ward but…he’s got a steep number attached to himself as well, along with too many missed games.
    Rock.
    Hard place.

  26. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Just think what team can lose their starting franchise QB and their starting RB and expect to contend?

    Look at what happened to Houston, Green Bay and Indy last season
    and I’ve made my point who lost their QBs and went down the toilet.

  27. winderNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- I might be mistaken but I think McKinnon’s contract gives us plenty of out clauses and would just hit us hard the first year. As much as I would love to have Bell I think we need to get a OL first. The sacks and pressure have just killed us and Jimmy even has a quick release. We need to start over with the basics and find some players who can tackle on a regular basis.

  28. winderNo Gravatar says:

    And, not commit so many F-ing penalties. I haven’t been keeping score but if we don’t lead the league in 3rd down penalties I would be surprised.

  29. NJ49ERNo Gravatar says:

    I’d consider Ward in a potential deal for Lev Winder, but Pittsburgh likely won’t.
    Agree completely about OL.
    Firm believer in the trenches.
    Must be shopping there often in April too.
    OGs shouldn’t cost high Picks either. Just some good Draft slotting from the Scouts and Lynch.

  30. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

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2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30

10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Winder: 8-8

Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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