Olfactory Assault

After making debacle all down they legs and all over they feets in Chicago, the 49ers stank their way back to Santa Clara and began preparing for the equally stanky New York Jets this coming Sunday.

These two franchises have a lot in common. They are both named after cities they don’t play in. And both are among the worst teams in the league, with crappy ownership, crappy GMs, crappy HCs, crappy QBs, and crappy players.

It’s kosher to say they both will be playing this game for pride, but clearly neither team gives a hoot about that precious commodity at the moment. The merciful end to their humiliating seasons is all they are hoping for. And Sunday is one game closer to that goal.

Still, somebody has to win this game, unless it goes two overtimes of stankiness and ends in a tie. So who will it be? The Jets littered their season with three wins, clearly not in the epic free fall the Niners have launched. But they had high hopes when the season began, and any high hopes the 49ers had must have been achieved through the use of banned substances.

The Jets are at least showing some sanity in canning the failed efforts of Ryan Fitzpatrick and Geno Smith to take a look at their second year QB Bryce Petty. The Niners? No such sanity anywhere in sight. They’re starting the same chump that got laughed out of Chicago on the way to his seventh straight loss.

It was almost a given that the Niners would beat the reeling and decimated Bears last week, yet it was our boys who got trampled instead. So picking the Niners again this week might be an exercise in “fool me once, fool me twice” logic, but the Jets are traveling cross country on a short week and ought to get whipped on Sunday.

Not that anyone really cares at this point. Harbaugh Stadium will not even muster a quorum for this tawdry offering. Hopefully, the team will not further disgrace itself by celebrating wildly should this victory occur. But of course they will. After all, these are your 2016 49ers.




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70 comments on “Olfactory Assault
  1. robNo Gravatar says:

    After the first game I was getting ready to give you guys the business.
    All I have to say now is
    Rob De Luca is in reporting for ass fukking

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Cheer up, Rob. You (and I) only whiffed once. Chuck went 0-4. We’re not pessimistic here for fun, but we do try to have fun with the pessimism.

  3. robNo Gravatar says:

    Right we all just hope the fun doesn’t last much longer
    Lol

  4. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Jed, sadly, is having fun running the proud Niners into the dirt so it likely will go on for awhile. But I do appreciate the boundless opportunities for snark. What is hard to wrap my head around is how fast and how far we have fallen. Epic with no end in sight. What a betrayal all the way around

  5. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    When Deluca throws in the towel, the season’s truly over, beyond hope in any form. Turn out the lights. Lock the front door. See y’all down the road!

    Happily (for me anyway), I’m not here to root for wins but losses and extreme humiliation of the sort heaped on fans of this shithouse team these past years of the Jed.

    Starting Shit-7torms again is just the latest example of the glaring stupidity of this bunch of brainless idiots.

  6. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    NJ49er, every move made by Baalke can be rationalized in a vacuum. But the result of his years as the general manager is indisputable.

    Pointing at underlings in his control just makes him look worse and if he’s staying for the paycheck while being forced to fail by ownership and/or their decisions affecting his stewardship of the team he’s worse than just a bad manager.

  7. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    NJ49er, did you give Mike Nolan all that rope, too, I can’t remember. 😀

  8. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Staley pulled his hammy in practice and is questionable for Sunday.

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith has 200 yards in the first half and is throwing the long ball. Smith is showing what a QB can do if he is able to read a defense.
    Kap will never be a NFL QB because he just doesn’t have the skill.

    Chefs are up 14-3

  10. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Oh well, Smith was never that good at reading D.

    I’ll give you #7 makes him look like Peyton freakin’ Manning.

  11. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    A reminder on why so many here are so exasperated and pissed on what has happened. Memories of the 49er Legacy.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0zg0QIpSKs

  12. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Joe thinks lil Jed made a bad choice when he picked Baalke over Harbaugh

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqWvXgtnoa4

    Don’t often agree with Stephen A Smith but what he says still rings true two years later

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uVyaNLV8O0

  13. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    If you look at the 2016 season can you single out what would be the highlight of the season? Hint: There’s not much to choose from.

    That’s what a crap season this has been and Chip seems to be in pre=season mode showing absolutely no offensive innovation.
    I suppose he’s saving it all for year two (wink wink)

  14. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah skeebs- this game should be a real nail-biter. But, just like our players and FO staff I can’t wait for this crapfest to end. When the season started I told myself that I wouldn’t let anything the Niners did get to me. But I was wrong.

  15. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- thanks for all those sites to visit. Loved all Cowherd’s takes on Kap and the Niners.

  16. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    “Joe Staley’s streak of 92 consecutive starts expected to come to an end on Sunday.”

    Good news for Jets D-line.

  17. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks for the vids Bullit. Great memories. What a great time that was

  18. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Niners extended Vance McDonald to a 5 year $35 mil contract with $16 mil guaranteed.
    IMO they paid too much because he is not an elite TE.
    He’s having a decent year but is far from being All Pro.

    This would make McDonald the 6th highest paid TE and he would make more than Gronk.

    A silly signing based on pure potential and for a guy who has yet to catch 40 passes in a season.

    This from the GM who wouldn’t pay $3.5 mil for Crabtree to stay.

    A few more bad signings will doom this team to mediocrity for the lengths of these contracts based on salary cap impact.

  19. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    In 4 seasons McDonald has caught 64 balls for 7 TDS.
    You might pay himthis kind of money if those stats were for one season but not for 4 seasons worth of work.

    Why haven’t they fired Baalke yet? He’s going to further destroy the team on the way out.

  20. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear49er at the time I went ballistic over Nolan, it had more to do with my perception that he lost the locker room.
    Something I felt, at that time, was the ultimate sin for a HC.
    Had I known that it would be the start of the revolving door of HC firings by York & Co, I might well have changed my agenda.
    I did however, include equal ammunition for Dr York to sell the team in my protest efforts 😀

  21. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Not sure I’m following your ‘underlings’ comment?
    Help me out with that one.
    My perception of this mess is whether Baalke answers to Paraag in terms of ‘value’ placed on who stays/who goes in Contract extensions.
    Wanting to retain Iupati for example, had a cost value attached.
    Not something I’d suspect Baalke is involved with.
    Hence my frustrations with this alliance between them.

  22. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Well, here’s a twist on the Garoppolo Trade I wasn’t expecting –

    http://tinyurl.com/zrllbqb

  23. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    The only way we are ever gonna get anyone to come here is to hire a professional GM and give him the reins. Jed has to be silent and just write checks. It could happen. But, I doubt it. I honestly think monkeys could do the job just as well as it’s being done now.

  24. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Chip Kelly was hired to improve the team.
    So far there has been massive regression with this Baalke/Kelly
    combo.

    What is bothersome to me is the complacency of the players saying how great things are under Chip and Lynch declaring that the Niners have one of the most talented rosters in the league.
    Time for them to wake up. Your team is 1-11 and has lost 11 in a row
    which is the most pathetic stretch in team history and counting.

    The players just have to look at the empty stands and see there are about 10K opposing fans in the stadium that have bought tix on the cheap from disgusted Niner fans.

  25. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    NJ49er,

    “Wanting to retain Iupati for example, had a cost value attached. Not something I’d suspect Baalke is involved with.
    Hence my frustrations with this alliance between them.”

    …is a good example of what I had in mind with that comment.

    If Baalke isn’t in charge of that aspect of management what’s he there for?

    I appreciate you standing hard to defend your guy but a GM who holds enough power to get the winningest head coach in the league dumped has to bear the responsibility for the results.

    If Baalke can only get the players signed Paraag approves, Paraag gets the credit for the few that have worked out, not Baalke. Because if that’s the case, Baalke is merely a scout.

    I say Baalke’s stink is all over this sorry mess of a team. He created it. From the players to the sorry head coaches he’s put in place of the guy he ran off. If he’s only Jed’s mouthpiece/scapegoat he isn’t worth a shit as a GM anyway.

  26. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger said this in the Fairyland blog last year.
    “I think we have enough talent to win a super Bowl and I love our QB. We need the coaching staff to take the next step. It was never going to happen with Harbaugh’s loyalty to Roman. The right coaching staff will take us there. It is very possible we regress but the best we would have done with Harbaugh is win and be entertaining without a ring. Guaranteed.
    I love what Jed did. An upgrade to the coaching staff will give us a championship. If Jed screws this up then so what, Harbaugh was not ever going to win a SB, only a Stooge would think as much. Jed is playing to win instead playing, “not to lose”. I love his attitude. I am willing to take a step back if it means it was just an aggressive mistake in order to win it all. I’m glad Jed is our owner. He kicks ass because he isn’t afraid to face Stooges and be bold! Go 49ers!”
    ====

    So you wonder why Berger who claims to have a superior football intellect has been quiet after saying this? Lil Jed York plays to win is almost as silly of a comment as the Niners only raise Super Bowl banners.

  27. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    38-10 jets. We’re gonna make-em look good tomorrow. I just wish we played Cleveland too.
    .
    Nofear- I don’t know just how much REAL power Baalky holds but at this point it doesn’t even matter. He can’t possibly justify his own position any longer. The 49ers have never had a football team this bad before.

  28. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Also 12th Man posted this last year

    “Skeebs wrote another obituary after Harbaugh left, just like he did after Alex Smith left.
    The team went to a SB and another NFCCG without Smith. Not only didnt miss a beat but went one better.
    Skeebs lets his personal favorites cloud his judgement.
    Niners will go on and be a winning team.
    Ultimately being in the playoffs is better than not, but winning a Lombardi IS what its all about and Harbaugh, with Roman, just didn’t get it done.
    Too bad.”
    ===

    Niners will be a winning team? How these guys have changed their tune. Coaching does matter.
    It amazes me how these exspurts with strong opinions flip flop and do their 180 degree turns.

    There is nothing wrong with a strong opinion. When things don’t work out to support that opinion you need to man up and admit that you were wrong and not disavow and pretend you didn’t say that.

    We all know that Harbaugh as HC did matter and once he left this team has folded like a house of cards.

    Now we are paying Chip Kelly $6.5 mil to coach this team to a 1-11 record which is $1.5 mil more than they were willing to give Harbaugh.

    You bet big mistakes have been made and the Fairyland minions
    have to come to realize they were on the wrong side of the argument.

  29. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Well, I’ve had a Hell of a week. Deep vein thrombosis in my thigh and pulmonary embolism in both lungs. Hospitalized three days.

    So. How many points are we losing by this week?

  30. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Careful, Grump. If Baalke gets wind of your travails, he’ll probably try to sign you up.

    Hope you’re on the mend.

  31. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Grumpy, did they send you home on warfarin or Xarelto or some such to help that? It seems to me the Cuervo should have been enough to stop that shit.

    Take care of yourself hermano.

  32. bakkentomNo Gravatar says:

    http://49ers.pressdemocrat.com/losing-part-49ers-game-plan/

    Are we tanking on purpose. Does Staley really have an injury?

  33. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Grumpy

    No time in hospital is fun. No one is a fan of IVs and needles.
    Hope you overcome this and are back to your grumpy self soon.

  34. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    Wish you the best grump. Stay strong

  35. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah they sent me home with Warfarin and some other shit I have to inject in my stomach twice a day. Good times.

    Jose let me down, NF, the little bastard.

  36. bakkentomNo Gravatar says:

    https://youtu.be/A1IwAVNXNeo

    If this works for you like it does for me. Adrenaline Grump

  37. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Same here Grump. Problem in colon, still hospitalized tho. Good support here too. Could yorks support his team like this please?

    Naw. Jets by 20

    Nurse please pass the coconut juice

  38. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    That’s the shits, Phil. Hope you’re back home soon.

  39. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    Good luck with that Phil. Getting old is sometimes for the birds.

  40. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks guys

  41. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Banner flying over Levi’s Stadium: “Jed, you reap what you sow — fire Baalke.”

  42. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    A little too polite, if you ask me.

  43. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Lil Jed is building a cabana when he should get up in front of the media to apologize to all Niner fans for the crap product they try to pass off as a NFL team. Lil Jed talks about winning with class? How about just winning?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dug737WmUG8

  44. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Anquan Boldin just cracked the all time top ten list in NFL receptions. Congrats Anquan!
    Oh by the way he also caught his 5th TD pass of the season.

    Yrp according to Baalke we don’t need Boldin to play WR.

  45. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Phil, that stinks. Hope you can scat outta there soon.

  46. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Banner should say Denise instead of Jed and Jed instead of Baalke.

    Leaving Jed in charge is condemning the Niners and their fans to a future of failure.

  47. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs they need to bring back these

    http://tinyurl.com/jq34p5l

    Most Niner fans will echo the sentiments of these ladies

  48. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Actually I short changed Boldin. That was his 7th TD catch of the season.
    All 49er wideouts have a total of 6 TDs

  49. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Phil

    Have a speedy recovery. Might be a few more years to see them win #6

  50. EarlNo Gravatar says:

    Niners playing with a little energy today. Who are these guys? Or are the Jets that bad?

  51. EarlNo Gravatar says:

    4th quarter fade, defense can’t tackle anyone. That’s more like it. Now’s the time for the QB to take charge of the game.

  52. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Will this Christmas wish come true?

    http://tinyurl.com/hyfkzs4

  53. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Game now on the line and up to the defense.

    Offense is impotent again in 2nd half.

    Common tgreead is Kap is highly inaccurate again.

  54. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Should read common thread

  55. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Oh boy game is tied, potential OT.

    Cleveland lost again. Looks like they might go winless.

  56. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Lol, it stinks NF sorta like a team we know…but today we’re going win one 2-11. Ruined our streak but it was the wounded Jets

    Won’t make any diff w/Yorks and Balkey screwing it up. Sigh

  57. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    oops spoke too soon. There is still hope!

  58. EarlNo Gravatar says:

    Stupid call by Chip in OT, up the gut, been stopped all afternoon. Why doesn’t Kap keep it just once and try outside. So boring.

  59. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Jest win
    12 losses in a row.

    The Jest blitzed Kap relentlessly at the end and instead of standing tall in the pocket he threw the ball erratically.

    Kap has the same flaws which he just can’t seem to correct.

  60. Phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    WE pulled it out!

  61. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Well the boys truly gave us a scare, but they buckled when it counted and found a way to lose. 2-12-17% for the day on Third Down Conversions by the 49ers!!! – Now that’s Commitment to Excrement, right there!!!

    Bring me the effing head and shriveled tiny nuts of Jed York.

  62. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Some poor diehards still thinking we had a chance to beat a bad road team with no QB or RB left? Hahaha!!!!

    They spotted us two scores then rubbed our noses in it. We might have saved Todd Boles season/job right there.

    Shit-7strom is a better QB than no one and Kelly not much better of a coach. How these guys are still on a pro team is beyond belief.

    Include the GM and CEO and a pattern doesn’t just emerge it appears like lightning and thunder.

    Put an end to this madness, Denise! Do it tomorrow, AM!

  63. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I for one am not concerned about the York’s money.
    By that I mean they made mistakes in hiring Tomsula and Kelly and they owe their season ticket holders and all the Niner Faithful the best product they can put on the field.

    Lil Jed made the mistakes and if it calls for spending more money, than they need to spend more money. It’s not like they’re bleeding money. If they don’t turn it around and start making sensible football choices than they risk having the team devalued.

    They already have a black eye with ESPN rating them among the worst run franchises in professional sports. That’s Donald Sterling territory if he was still around.

    Nobody should be concerned if they end up firing Chip and easting his contract. This is all on Lil Jed and an expensive lesson.

  64. WinderNo Gravatar says:

    I agree it will cost Jed a lot more to keep this crapfest moving forward. The only problem I see is his history for bad decisions. Well, only three more weeks of semi-pro ball and ALL eyes are on Jed.

  65. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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