Two more weeks and this long, dreary offseason will end. Hallelujah! Or, as they say in the cartoon world, “Hot d-d-diggedy d-d-dog!”
Some of you might not be feeling elated about the coming season. Condolences. It’s true the 49ers are going nowhere this year, but they do exist as a constant embarrassment to Trent Baalke and Jed York. As we discovered last year, that can be quite entertaining — as long as you don’t get lost in the live and die “I ♥ 9ers” superfan mode.
The Browns game last December was particularly enjoyable. Getting stomped by the second worst team in the league and knowing the evil Yorks had trotted the whole family up to Cleveland expecting to see a team that had turned the corner and instead saw a team heading to the basement — very satisfying. All that massive humiliation huddled up there in one woeful suite.
The Yorks are entirely engaged in the tawdry business of accumulating wealth. Which they’ve done well. However, next month former Niner owner Eddie Debartolo will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame and his accomplishments will resound through the ages. The Yorks? Buried and forgotten. Cheesy bean counters that no one cares about.
Now that Forbes has valued the 49ers at $2.7 billion — a 69% jump in their value — perhaps the Yorks will see this as a good time to cash out and go home. We should be so lucky.
In the meantime, we have an expansion team full of plucky youngsters who will be trying to prove to us that Baalke is not an idiot. This gives us a win-win situation. If the team wins, great. Good job fellas. If they lose, great. Another nail in Baalke’s coffin.
However, if you’re only interested in the playoffs and a Super Bowl run, sorry, but that horse left town. If you’re a 51 year old Browns fan, you’ve waited a lifetime for your team to win a SB. As long as the Yorks own the 49ers, lifetime is definitely in play here too. It currently stands at 22 years without that trophy. Next year at this time, it will be 23.