This coming Thursday, the 49ers will be required by league rules to open up a practice for media scrutiny. It’s not known whether the new coaching staff is also required to make themselves available to the media. They have been sequestered for the past four months. One might think the 49ers are embarrassed to trot these second-raters out in front of the public just yet. Or ever.
But sooner or later, HC Jim Tomsula is going to have to stand in front of the microphone and mumble about something. They can’t hide him forever. It’s likely that his pressers this year will provide lots of laughs to NFL fans everywhere, if not particularly 49er fans. He’ll be a Youtube sensation.
In fact, Tomsula is the guy nobody wants to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about the other new coaches, either. They’ll get brief mention during the regular season, too, as Jim Harbaugh and Vic Fangio cast their long shadows over the franchise, and every game features a candid or delicate discussion of the idiocy of Jed York. Hey, camera guys, let’s get a shot of the little boy owner in his box grinning like an idiot while Rome burns at his feet.
You need five things for a team to be competitive in the NFL: good coaches, good players, a star QB, good health, and good luck.
In 2014, the 49ers only had one element — good coaches. The good players got injured, the QB played poorly, health was a disaster, and luck never had a chance to be relevant. It was a tribute to the coaching staff that the team finished 8-8, instead of much worse.
In 2015, they should have better health, but the players aren’t as good, the coaches aren’t as good, and the QB is still a big question mark. The team went 2-4 in the division last year, and it would be mildly miraculous if they did any better this year. St. Louis is better, Arizona is better, Seattle is still the best, and the Niners are the only team going backwards. You don’t have to be a genius to figure it out. Last place in the NFC West.
With the coaching staff under wraps and very little team news being disseminated, we’ll have to depend for the next three months on a rabid sect of tortured anti-Harbaughnite nutters for amusement. By the time the season actually begins, we should be prepped and ready for one of the most laughable years in 49er history.
If this were a movie, the producer and director would have to be Mel Brooks. So settle back, stock up on the popcorn. It’s going to be interesting.