One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th.
The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a massive feud between Harbaugh and GM Trent Baalke — NOT. Then a Colin Kaepernick will leave after this season if he doesn’t get a $22 million a year contract with a $50 million guarantee — NOT.
Of course, there were some real news items, like Chris Culliver‘s arrest for running down a guy on a bike, fleeing the scene, and threatening a pursuer with brass knuckles. We’ll call this a comic interlude. Followed shortly afterward by Aldon Smith‘s 38th arrest for knucklehead behavior associated with drowning his head in a liquor bottle.
And last, but not least, Mel Kiper gave us an A for our draft!
The only thing missing was the news that Dickhead Sherman had been run over by a bus.
Although the offseason was long, boring, and mostly uneventful for us Outsiders, the same cannot be said for the Niner OC, Greg Roman. Word has filtered down from the heights that the endless criticism of his offensive game plans has caused him to lose two pounds and four stubbles of hair.
RG Alex Boone is not expected to report with the vets on the 23rd. Pity. There’s only one way this hold out will end. He’ll be replaced at RG, then show up near the end of the pre-season, find himself riding the bench, realize his agent screwed up, fire him, discover it’s too late to repair the damage, sulk all year, and finally get traded to Miami for a bag of chips next offseason.
There’ll be lots of stories to this camp. The running back battle, the linebacker who gets to fill in for Navorro Bowman, the OLB who steps in for Aldon during his suspension, the slot cornerbck winner, the progress of backup QB reclamation project Blaine Gabbert, the much anticipated debut of D-lineman Tank Carradine, and how Roman utilizes a six deep wide receiver group.
The 68th year of the San Francisco 49ers is about to begin.