The NFL owners and their entourages are gathered in Orlando this week. The entourages of these gents, of course, bears no resemblence to the entourages of mega-star athletes. Mega-star bodyguards look like bouncers. Billionaire bodyguards look like Secret Service agents. You won’t see any of them wide-legging across a room while holding their pants up with one hand and communicating with their fingers on the other.
For those of you who don’t pay much attention to the boys behind the boys, here’s a rough estimate of them:
- Paul Allen, Seahawks: $15 billion
- Stanley Kroenke, Rams: $5 billion
- Stephen Ross, Dolphins: $4.8 billion
- Malcolm Glazer, Buccaneers: $4.4 billion
- Woody Johnson, Jets: $3.5 billion
- Steve Tisch/John Mara, Giants: $3.4 billion
- Shahid Khan, Jaguars: $2.5 billion
- Jerry Jones, Cowboys: $2.7 billion
- Robert Kraft, Patriots: $2.3 billion
- Bob McNair, Texans: $2 billion
- Stephen Bisciotti, Ravens: $1.6 billion
- Arthur Blank, Falcons: $1.7 billion
- Jim Irsay, Colts: $1.5 billion
- Jimmy Haslam, Browns: $1.45 billion
- Zygi Wilf, Vikings: $1.3 billion
- Virginia McClaskey, Bears: $1.3 billion
- Bud Adams estate, Titans: $1.25 billion
- Martha Ford, Lions: $1.25 billion
- Dan Snyder, Washington: $1.2 billion
- Tom Benson, Saints: $1.1 billion
- Jed York via Momma, 49ers: $1.1 billion
- Jeff Lurie, Eagles: $1.1 billion
- Jerry Richardson, Panthers: $1.1 billion
- Alex Spanos, Chargers: $1 billion
- Pat Bowlen, Broncos: $1 billion
- Clark Hunt (split 4 ways), Chiefs: $1 billion
- Mike Brown, Bengals: $905 million
- Ralph Wilson, Bills: $900 million
- Dan Rooney, Steelers: $500 million
- Mark Davis via Al, Raiders: $500 million
- Bill Bidwill, Cardinals: N/A
F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The rich are different from you and me.”
Ernest Hemingway: “Yes. They have more money.”
None of them will have much to say this week, though Woody Johnson of the Jets tip-toed near the Tampering Zone on Sunday, indicating his team might have an interest in Eagles’ WR Desean Jackson. Both the 49ers and Seahawks have disavowed having any such interest. Another talented headcase nobody much wants to have on their team.
Except maybe a QB with a big arm and no deep threat. Hmmm. Do we know of one? Colin Kaepernick is allegedly friends with Desean, which is not particularly encouraging, and would allegedly love to have him in red and gold. Sure. We could put his locker next to Anquan Boldin and see how that worked out.
But it’s been disavowed. Disavowals sometimes bear a resemblance to truth, but not as a rule. Generally, they are spewed out to make reporters quit asking questions. It doesn’t mean Trent Baalke couldn’t trot Jackson out in a couple of weeks and proudly welcome the little dipshit to the team.
I’m mostly inclined to believe this particular disavowal, though. Two weeks into Free Agency, it’s a lot more likely we’ll hear Baalke announce the signing of “Who?” this week than any household name.