Dumpster Diving

The 49ers have been shopping for WRs and CBs the past few days without much success.

Apparently, WRs aren’t particularly enchanted about being the 3rd WR on a team that hardly ever uses more than two. This might put a bit of a dent in the notion that WRs aren’t exactly a brainy bunch of humanoids. There’s also the stark reality of Mario Manningham, the previous 49er 3rd WR, who managed to go from playoff hero to invisible man in just two short years. I had yet to see his name mentioned in the daily ticker tapes of available FA WRs until late Sunday, when he surfaced as part of the scrap heap availabilities.

The team has had more success in attracting CBs, signing former Viking Chris Cook. I use the term “success” here a bit loosely, in that it is derived from comparing Cook to NOBODY. Cook looks like a big CB, has long arms, and lots of speed, but he was just about the worst CB in the league last year. Signing him has to fall into the category of Training Camp Body. Or, the more kindly term in fashion this offseason, reclamation project, joing fellow enrollees Blaine Gabbert, Eric Wright, and Jonathan Martin.

Speaking of brainy WRs, former Panther Steve Smith actually said, after signing with the Ravens, that he was a “complementary dude.” This statement indicates Smith has been in the league long enough for the world to pass him by and he should probably just retire now and join all of us bloggers, who have seen several worlds pass us by.

We haven’t heard much from Colin Kaepernick so far this offseason, which is good. Last year he was all over the map, educating us ignoramuses about his “swag.” It sounded to this world passed by reporter like some new breed of “schtick,” but I hesitate to misremember it properly. At any rate, it’s not been visible this year.

No, this is Russell Wilson’s offseason of over-coverage. He’s been posing as a Texas Ranger baseball player, tip-toeing down the road traveled by Michael Jordan, Deion Sanders, and Bo Jackson. Wilson seems to be a likable guy, in a boring corporate sort of way. I doubt we’ll be seeing him nude on a magazine cover, which is fine. Once was enough on that cheesecake.

The musical chairs of free agency continue this week, but what little drama remains will no doubt be dwarfed by the annual college basketball tournament. Not here, though. We’ll continue to keep an eye on the oblate spheroid and leave the round ball afficionados to their own hyperbolic world.




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Posted in Waltzing Matilda
46 comments on “Dumpster Diving
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    We have 3 WRs already, if we pick one up in the draft we are sufficiently stocked except for necessary camp fodder. Our offense uses WRs as a ploy to make a defense think we might do something other than a run out of the jumbo formation. Any play called other than that is only for deception.

  2. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, and it’s good to know we have Demarcus Dobbs as our backup 275 lb slot WR.

  3. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    BTW, it’s a prolate spheroid . . .

    The earth is a oblate spheroid, as centrifugal force and the sun’s gravitational field bulges the Earth around the equator, thus making the distance from pole to pole smaller than from any diameter measured from the equator.

  4. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    *an*

  5. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Leave it to Chuck to be an expert when it comes to small poles.

  6. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Barrows has an interesting article about the Niner secondary before the 2011 season.
    I remember a lot of bitching about how all the good Free Agents were getting paid and thus going elsewhere.
    Goldson was the only starter as Spencer and Clements were replaced as the CBs by Brown and Rogers and Taylor Mays/Reggie Smith was replaced by Whitner.
    http://blogs.sacbee.com/49ers/archives/2014/03/subpar-secondary-dont-judge-yet-49ers-fans.html

  7. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Sez Tom Thumb . . .

    Berger: Was that good for you, too?

    Bergerwife: Did you put it in yet?

  8. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Chuck can’t even get the joke right. You have it backwards.

    Wife: Are you in yet?
    Husband: In? I’m done.

  9. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Unca- It is very revealing that you would think of something like that in your spare time.

  10. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Bergs, it’s very revealing you think that takes some effort. Ever told a joke? Apparently not.

  11. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    On talk radio there was a suggestion that the Niners trade for Desean Jackson to bolster their WRs.
    My question is why would you do that?
    Jackson’s cap number this year is $12.75 mil and $12 mil in 2015.
    With that said after last season Jackson said he would like to renegotiate a new deal even though he just did one in 2012 which runs until 2017. He hinted at another holdout like the one in 2012 because he felt underpaid.
    Desean Jackson is the diva that everyone accuses Crabtree of being. He has talent but his money demands and attitude offset
    his speed. 32 rec TDs in 6 seasons is 5 a year. 3 return TDs
    in 6 years is less than expected and his return game has gone to 5.1 yds a PR last year and 5.8 yds in the last 3 years.
    I have never understood why he disses Cal when they do the media introductions and identifies either his middle school or his high school.
    Why would the Niners even consider trading for this malcontent?

  12. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I remember on signing day Jackson was going to SoCal but he changed his mind last minute and went to Cal. Carrol said something like he only wants the players who want to be there. It sounds like Philly is starting to say the same thing about him.

  13. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Manningham back to the Giants.

  14. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    They aren’t, Bullitt. Like I said, most fans are idiots. This isn’t plug’n’play. They look at it like fantasy football. X amount of numbers somewhere = x amount of numbers everywhere else. As we saw with Ted Ginn, or Randy Moss, or even Manningham, that just isn’t true.

    If we knew how to use a speed WR, they might be putting up better numbers here. DSJ would freak out by game 5 if he wasn’t getting targeted enough.

  15. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Not just on the radio but in an East Coast paper today
    http://www.nj.com/eagles/index.ssf/2014/03/desean_jackson_trade_rumors_5_teams_that_should_try_to_make_a_trade_with_the_eagles.html
    Just stirring the pot on a slow news month

  16. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Writers are idiots too. We just went through a month of writer-generated bullshit around here. More of the same from the east.

  17. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Rappaport on NFL Access is reporting the Philly front office is dangling D Jackson asking for a 3rd rd and a 4th rd pick for him.
    They were targeting the Niners and the Pats hoping to dump his contract and attitude.
    Rappaport said the Niners said no thank-you.

  18. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    CSN Philly has it turned around saying the Niners and Pats approached the Egos according to their “source”..
    That has been refuted by NFL Access.

  19. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Fangio was just extended til the end of the 2015 season.
    He will have the highest DC pay in the NFL.

  20. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Doughnut boy finally decides to let it out and trash his old team’s contract offer. Not keeping it classy and burning bridges.
    http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/03/18/golden-tate-says-seattles-offer-was-laughable/

  21. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I suppose you’d take a 40% pay cut lying down.

    Donut boy?

  22. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    It is not a pay cut but a crappy offer that the doughnut boy was reacting to.
    Maybe you’ll figure it out one day.

  23. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Whatever, skippy. He played well in Seattle, and didn’t like their offer. Nothing too outlandish about his comments. He felt he gave his all, did some nice community work in Seattle, and should be compensated for it. He said he’d take a reasonable deal. Even a hometown discount. Their deal wasn’t reasonable to him.

    He was more pissed off by the fact that some of the fans turned on him. Something people need to understand is that these guys love the game, but they also play to get paid. If some team offers you 2x as much as the previous team, what would you do? Take the shittier deal? Doubtful.

    Unless you are someone like Tom Brady or Big Ben Worthlessburger, and have banked around $100 mill, you take the bigger deal.

  24. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The owners are going to vote on moving the kick to the 40 yard line. I think it is a great idea. On the negative side there will be more touchbacks. On the positive side it will tempt teams to go for the on sides kick more often. That is more exciting than a return. I think one rule they should implement to coincide would be to place the ball at the 25 or 30 instead of the 20 for a touchback.

  25. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    If they are going to do that, why not just give the opponent the ball at the 20 and be done with it? The tip off every quarter has gone the way of the dodo. Why not the kickoff?

    Besides, that 5 yards ain’t gonna make that much difference when going for an onsides kick. What, there are 6 a year that are attempted?

  26. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Plus, it’s counterintuitive to penalize the team for kicking the ball out of the end zone for a touchback when the alternative is to force a return. If that is the intent, then why move the KO spot up in the 1st place?

  27. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    In 2013 60 onside kicks were attempted.

  28. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    How many were successful, skippy?

    If they move the KO to the 40 they might as well just spot the ball on the 20. Otherwise what the they trying to accomplish, Berger?

  29. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    IMO, the 5 yards make a big difference whether an on side kick is attempted. From the 45 a team needs about 8 yards to kick a 55 yard FG. They wouldn’t even need a 1st down to be in FG range. From the 50 a team would need at least one first down to kick a FG. If the ball were spotted at the 30 for a touchback you would see a lot of high short kicks that are returnable. The possibilities are a lot more than what we anticipate now for a kick off.

  30. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    What ‘they’ are trying to accomplish is less returns for less injuries. The KO has been shown in studies to be much higher as a percentage for injuries.

    “They’ are not talking about spotting the ball at the 25 or 30 for touchbacks, I added that to get more on sides and short high kicks. On sides kicks will still go up a little with a spot on the 20 but not as much as if they spotted it at the 30. Also, I wouldn’t anticipate many high short kicks that are returnable. I will put you down as not for the idea!

  31. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I know it’s because of the injury factor, but I don’t see the 5 yards being that big of a deal. It wasn’t that long ago they were kicking off from the 40 anyway. Kickers are better, I get it, but if the intent is to reduce injury, just get rid of it entirely. 60 onsides kicks out of 3000 kickoffs? Double that and you have 120?

    Thrilling. They should stop screwing around with the little shit and figure out replays.

  32. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    David Fales did not fail at the SJSU Pro day. He helped his draft status with a workout outdoors unlike Bridgewater’s mediocre pro workout inside a athletic’s fieldhouse. Bridgewater said he wouldstart wearing a glove again on his thoriwng hand.
    No doubt Harbaugh will work out Fales privately to evaluate him personally.
    http://www.csnbayarea.com/49ers/49ers-raiders-hand-evaluate-sjsus-fales

  33. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    My friend thinks if they are going to spot the ball at the 40 they should award 1 point for kicking the ball through the uprights. I told him I didn’t care for that rule but it is called ‘football’ so why not.

  34. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Here are the porposed rules changes, including the 43 yard extra point, the Navorro Bowman rule, all PFs reviewable, and PI calls within one yard of the LOS. That last one is horseshit.

  35. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Jared Allen has reached agreement with Seahawks.

  36. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Good. He’s old and slow.

  37. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Niners just signed FB Bruce Miller to a three-year contract extension through 2017.

  38. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Good. He’s young and slow.

  39. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Brian Jennings with Papa and Lund the other day.
    Had some interesting things to share about Harbaugh and Gabbert
    http://tinyurl.com/pkm7mgc

  40. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    He’s our 250 lb 4th WR . . .

  41. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Fitzpatrick signed with the Texans.
    Houston will trade Schaub to the Raiduhs or simply release him.

  42. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Apparently Jared Allen did not sign and is going back home to make a decision this week-end.

  43. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Allen’s older and slower than I thought.

  44. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee: W 25-23
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville: W 44-33
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams: W 34-13
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
NJ49er: 6-10
Skeebers: 6-10
Bullit: 5-11
Mr Fletch: 5-11
RTFirefly: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
Winder: 4-12

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