For the second straight year, the 49ers will open the season against Green Bay. Last year, that game was on the road. This year it’s at Candlestick. For the Packers, this will be the second straight game against the 49ers, who ended their season last year in the playoffs. A rather thorough, ignominious trashing, as they might surely recall. If they don’t, WE DO! Hahaha!
But there’s little doubt the Pack misremember that game. The team spent the entire offseason boning up on the “read-option” offense that whizzed by them last January. They’ve also signed not one, but two ex-49er QBs in the past week to pass along any insider tips these renegades might be able to provide.
Clay Matthews, the Pack’s star pass rusher, called the read-option a “fake” offense. IOW, the 49ers didn’t beat them last year, they tricked them with a gimmick offense. Psychologists would call his assertion “denial.” However, it IS true that Matthews has fake dreadlocks, otherwise known as “honky strings.” Matthews purchased his do at a Kevin Greene garage sale.
The Packers also spent the offseason trying to acquire something called a “running game.” Sadly, they struck out. They’ll come to Candlestick once again with a genuine, non-fake Aaron Rodgers and nothing else offense. This is thoughtful of them. It allows the 49ers to play nickel and dime packages the entire game, giving Patrick Willis’ fractured hand another week to heal.
By now, 49er fans know all there is to know about Rodgers. He’s the guy who Alex wasn’t, who trots out each week, throws 60 passes, piles up stats and yards, and throws in the towel if he’s behind in the 4th quarter, as his 0-18 record for 4th quarter comebacks against .500+ teams most clearly indicates. He also makes some of the most awful TV commercials ever made. They’re so bad that they stink with the sound on, stink with the sound off, and even stink if you turn off the TV when they’re on. They leave retinal scarring.
Rodgers doesn’t care, though. He’s perfected the “I don’t give a shit” attitude. That will come in handy this Sunday when he looks over at his rookie left tackle David Bakhtiari springing a brown stain on his backside drawers as he prepares to go up against Aldon Smith and Justin Smith. At least over at the right tackle spot he has Don Barclay. If you’ve heard of him, let the rest of the world in on your knowledge. Forget the Super Bowl. Rodgers will be lucky to get out of this year in one piece.
Sunday marks the last opening day at good, old Candlestick park. With the price of seats at the new stadium in Santa Clara, this might be the final year a goodly segment of fans will be able to afford to attend games. I’d expect the decibel level this year to be as high as it has ever been. 8-0 at home and 2-0 there in the playoffs would be a grand way to escort the frumpy old dame into the waiting path of the wrecking ball.