The unmistakable sounds of NFL football are pealing in the air throughout America now: “MEDIC! We have a man down here!”
Achilles, Triceps, ACLs, MCLs — these are the dreaded words that signal a major, year-ending injury. The avant garde 49ers got their man on IR over with in the May OTAs — we hope — when Michael Crabtree popped his Achilles. It happened early enough that Crabtree might actually return for duty in late November or early December. If it happens in TC, though, it’s “see you next year.”
As I’ve noted before, one of football fanning’s most charming aspects is the ability to suspend the traditional Judeo-Christian morality system that hovers over our lives with a wagging finger, without punching a ticket to Hell. At least I think you can. It’s convenient to think so, anyway, and that will have to be my defense later on should this prove not to be the case. At any rate, plunging recklessly forward, I admit the words I would most like to hear this coming week are: “Percy Harvin out for the year with Bo Jackson Hip Syndrome. Career in doubt.”
Nothing personal, Mr. Harvin. But you had the enormous bad taste to sign with the Seahawks. Off with your head, er, hip.
The most impressive, and perhaps crucial, player in the first week of the 49ers TC has been nose tackle Ian Williams. It was presumed that FA pickup Glenn Dorsey would get the job that for years belonged to Isaac Sopoaga, but so far Williams is the clear front runner. He’s not only holding the point, but pushing his way into the backfield with great regularity.
Like most of you, I grew up in a different time zone, where players scored touchdowns and merely dropped the ball on the ground and trotted back to the bench. Baseball still conducts its game with a modicum of humble behavior, but football and basketball are all about posing for the cameras after every positive play, no matter the score or relevancy of the contribution. Cameras are everywhere now and it won’t be long before we’ll see bank employees kaepernicking their briefcases for the omnipresent CCTVs, before heading into their offices to take your money and squander it and then take your money again to bail them out so they can continue to take your money and squander it and ….
Civilization. What a joint.
And so, without further ado, we bring you TC Week Two.