All Wanking Spanners to the Plow

We’re almost there. Eight days until Training Camp starts and the 2013 season opens for business. If memory serves, the rookies report in first, followed a couple days later by the veterans.

The most anticipated scene of the first day the pads go on will be British discus star Christian Okoye getting his first NFL-style “hit.” Hopefully, he won’t throw down his helmet and exclaim, “Blimey! You sods are a nasty lot. Ah’ve got a boomp on my bloody bean ‘ere!”

We can almost hear Okoye in the trenches on game day, talking smack to an opposing lineman. “Ah ‘ear your wife is a munter slag, bloke, but ah’ve ‘alf a mind to give her a good shagging tonight with my stonker John Thomas, you hobnocker plonker.”

Opposing lineman scratches chin strap, farts. “Eff off, limey.”

Other camp items, less fraught with international intrigue, involve the battles for number two and three wide receiver, the one remaining backup OLB spot, free safety, the pecking order at number two and three quarterback, and whether Nnamdi Asomugha can make the team.

Last season, four young quarterbacks roared into the league (Russell Wilson, Colin Kaepernick, Robert Griffin, and Andrew Luck). These four, and possibly Cam Newton from the 2011 rookie class, will probably define the contending teams over the next decade as the old definition makers (Peyton Manning and Tom Brady) wobble off the stage, leaving Aaron Rodgers, Eli Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees, and Matt Ryan as the reigning old timers.

By my count, that’s eleven superb QB talents in the league. Has there ever been such a proliferation of excellence? The 1983 NFL draft is heralded as THE great draft for QBs, but it only brought three HOFers into the league: John Elway, Jim Kelly, and Dan Marino.

Throw the old timers into the mix and nearly half the teams in the league have potential HOF talent at QB this year. Zounds! And I probably left someone off the list above, which would make it even zoundier. Or, as the Brits would say, bollocks!

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51 comments on “All Wanking Spanners to the Plow
  1. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Maiocco and others have stated that Colt McCoy has locked up the 2nd string QB spot.
    They have also said that Tolzien is in a battle to stay on the roster with BJ Daniels. If things are equal Daniels has the edge because he’s versatile enough to play special teams. This will bear watching in training camp and preseason games.
    Shades of Cody Pickett!.

  2. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Rookies report this Fri Jul 19
    so Okoye can start hitting.
    First preseason game Aug 8 against Broncos. One series seeing Peyton and CK play?

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Football is about to be back!

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Chuffed to bits about that!

  5. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Pro football HOF Game Sun 8/04
    Cowboys vs Dolphins.
    IMHO Kaepernick needs some guidance as it seems to me his new found fame and celebrity is getting to his head.
    A few months ago he made another questionable choice aligning himself with Vick. In the comments section it says he pulled
    out of this event.
    CK had no upside here
    and bad stuff with guilt by association.
    http://www.terezowens.com/colin-kaepernick-and-michael-vick-partying-together/
    I honestly believe CK should focus on football and maintain a lower profile as all these distractions will catch up to him and the team.
    Nothing wrong with staying at home.

  6. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    On the Raiduhs this 50K stadium idea for $800 mil sucks.
    Going cheap is going stupid.
    It’s throwing in the towel and telling the NFL you’re going to suck and lack paying fans for the forseeable future. Lower ticket prices and you’ll draw another 15K
    and make it a respectable 65K crowd. All this to avoid a blackout which might be obsolete soon anyway?
    Not exactly a vote of confidence.
    http://www.mercurynews.com/sports/ci_23665659/raiders-want-build-50-000-seat-stadium-oakland?source=rss

  7. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Went over to the Chron Insider for the first time in months and was just in time to see FlyingV have his 51st screen name bounced off the site.

  8. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Same as it ever was.

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Navarro Bowman was on NFL Total Access today and they asked him the question about Kaepgate.
    Just reflect and in the history of the NFL you cannot find too many instances of an active player on a NFL roster donning another NFL team’s cap and say he’s going to wear what he wants.
    No question CK is going to the woodshed next week.
    http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000218289/article/bowman-dolphins-hat-a-huge-mistake-by-kaepernick

  10. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The things you find on You Tube.
    I was fortunate enough to be working in the City in 1995 and took an extended lunch to witness
    Joe Montana announcing his retirement at Justin Herman Plaza.
    This video is “Joe Montana – The Fire Inside” a bio I had never seen from NFL Network. This is a MUST SEE video for Niner fans and one of the best bios on Joe Montana.
    Look closely at the 7:50 mark while at ND, Joe runs the read option.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBeV5BtioQY

  11. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    And in case you haven’t seen this
    here is the NFL Films video of Bill Walsh on quarterbacking and the WCO
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFDOBKlGELQ

  12. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Ways to pass the doldrums in the few days left anticipating training camp.
    To contrast here is the Jim Harbaugh QB Clinic video from his University of San Diego days and it is very clinical
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho77UgYWaW0

  13. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    You want to pass the doldrums in the few days left anticipating training camp? OK, I have one for ya: It’s Opening Day at Del Mar!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xclrotMdENU

  14. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Wes Welker, yes, that Wes Welker owns UNDRAFTED, who will be running in the Oceanside Stakes later today. Also in that race is TEBOWS BIG PLAY. That’s a “swami angle” if I’ve ever seen one. A bettor could be screaming “touchdown!” or “pick six” after that race. And I don’t mean the good PK 6.
    .
    All kidding aside, Welker’s horse looks pretty goddamn good. Tebow? He might need to say a prayer or two sitting at 20/1 on the ML.

  15. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Didja hear that Bergs got poison oak the other day, but wouldn’t put calamine lotion on it because it said ‘apply liberally’?

  16. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I had “poison vote”, not oak. It said after applying liberally rub your face in my butt hole. When you were too eager to volunteer I declined. I later heard you wrote the directions. That’s what really happened.

  17. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Wow, when does 6th grade start for you, Bergs?
    .
    Too bad your fantasies won;t come true.

  18. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m waiting for you to graduate so I can get your desk. It’s the only one that I can fit into.

  19. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Santa Clara DA will not charge Brooks with anything.

  20. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, hard to press charges if the victim renegs on testifying.
    .
    Uh, right Bergs. That’s the deal. I graduated 35 year ago. You still can’t quite get there. Keep trying! Or as Bluto said:
    .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjIH1jdx2_A

  21. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Looks like Divens tried to squeeze a million out of Brooks after the incident.

  22. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Divens tried to squeeze a million but when push came to shove, I bet Divens sent in the Loch Ness Monster and told Brooks, “I need tree fiddy.” $350,000 swept this shit underneath the rug.
    .
    This whole incident is a goddamn shame and embarrassment to the 49er organization. Not to mention our legal system, which continues to be a goddamn shame and embarrassment to our country.
    .
    These same prosecutors threw the book at an unemployed SJ truck driver. They charged him with felony assault for swinging a metal pipe at his friend (allegedly). Not even a hair on his head was harmed.
    .
    Brooks may be skating free from the DA’s office, but I’m sure he’ll hear from the Commissioner’s Office. And rightfully so. The shine from our organization has taken a significant hit lately. Kap’s hat included. That shit wouldn’t fly with Eddie D. and Walsh. I’m sick and tired of this shit. It’s time for this organization to “Straighten Up and Fly Right…”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyB_bAK75Kc

  23. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    That sure sounds like Ella Fitzgerald singing with Nat. I’d never heard that song. Very nice.

  24. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Oh, boo hoo, Dennis. You are starting to sound like Flying V.

  25. winderNo Gravatar says:

    yeah, bring back Joe and Bill and we’ll all be … in high cotton.

  26. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Right. We’ll be pushing up daisies. . .

  27. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Tampa trades CB Eric Wright to the 49ers for a conditional late-round pick in 2014.

  28. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Bit of a head scratcher. Feels like there’s another shoe yet to drop.

  29. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    From Barrows:
     
    “So … after Jim Harbaugh warned players in late June about appearing in police blotters, the 49ers traded for someone with a recent [July 12] DUI?”

  30. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Is this the same Eric Wright that got kicked out of USC for having a bunch of drugs I in his dorm? He ended up at UNLV and then got drafted. I think there are two Eric Wrights in the NFL so I’m not sure.

  31. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Nope. Same guy. Who isn’t related to Eric Wright, CB from the 49ers in the 80s. Even thought THIS Eric Wright was born in SF in 1985, and wears #21.
    .
    I think this is another move to put pressure on Carlos Rogers. They’d save $5 mill in cap space by saying adios to Carlos.

  32. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    A few more acquisitions like this, and we’ll be able to field an “All Felon” team in no time. You can’t spell “class” w/o ass.

  33. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Per the Salary Cap Guy on Niners Nation on Carlos Rogers’ contract
    “The 49ers cornerback has a 2013 cap figure of $7,344,531. This includes $5.5 million in base salary, $100,000 in a workout bonus and $250,000 in a roster bonus. Of the $5.5 million in base salary, $1.6 million is guaranteed, while the remainder becomes guaranteed if he is on the roster on April 1.”

  34. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Regardless if Wright makes the team or not he’s due to be suspended for 4 games so that needs to be a factor in the decision making.

  35. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    6 to 1 Wright is just a camp player. Unless he clearly outplays Rogers, or someone gets hurt, the 49ers will pay Carlos for one more year, and keep their draft pick.

  36. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    “Uh, right Bergs. That’s the deal. I graduated 35 year ago. You still can’t quite get there. Keep trying! Or as Bluto said:”

    From here on out, unca is The Graduate! He graduated from the 6th grade 35 years ago. Congratulations ‘The Graduate’!
     
    Good thing running a blog can be done from mom’s basement.

  37. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    ESPN had this yesterday
    “Wild card: Eric Mangini
    The coaching staff will have a different feel with Mangini as the new senior offensive consultant. Harbaugh has kept together his staff for two seasons, an upset for a team that has enjoyed so much success on the scoreboard and in scheming. We easily could have credited Harbaugh for staying the course in the name of continuity. Adding a coach with Mangini’s profile shakes things up. It’ll be interesting to see how Mangini assimilates.”

  38. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, I’m pretty sure Wright served his four game suspension last year. He’s not under suspension for this season. Well, at least not yet…

  39. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    You are correct that he has already served the suspension.
    My bad, so if he sticks he’s available unless he gets nailed for the alleged DUI.

  40. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    For you in case you missed this.
    “The North Remembers”
    “Winter Is Coming”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m4ZPULXJKw

  41. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Still jerking off to Ann Coulter, Bergs?
    .
    Uh, try making sense. You are the 5th grader. I graduated high school 35 years ago, yer still churning in middle school. At least it feels that way by reading your posts.

  42. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Grump, I think Wright sticks around. We have bodies at CB, but nothing screaming big talent. Nnamdi is a ? Rogers had a much less productive year than 2011, Brown was quietly solid, and Culliver? Well, he’s a big ? himself. The rest are under the radar. Cox? Ehhhh. Wright has had some solid years around the bullshit he seems to surround himself with.

  43. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The angry Graduate speaks! I love getting some of that 6th grade knowledge. It makes me want to get some Skippy peanut butter!

  44. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Mickleson might have just won the British Open shooting a 66 and leading by 3 off the Firth of Forth

  45. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Saw this and now things are really getting silly.
    You see this and this just makes you wonder WTF?
    http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/9496533/florida-gators-lb-antonio-morrison-arrested-barking-police-dog

  46. robNo Gravatar says:

    OMG ! IS THAT ERIC WRIGHT WE JUST SIGNED !!!! JESUS CHRIST ! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN !

  47. robNo Gravatar says:

    OMG ever since wright left Cleveland for tampa my secret dream has been for us to sign him !

  48. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    OMG Rob IS OUT OF VALIUM AGAIN!!!

  49. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    OMG, I’m LMAO!

  50. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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