PFT‘s first 2013 Power Poll began oozing from its website this past week, and leading off, in the very last spot on the chart, was the Oakland Raiders. Dead last at number 32. Also leaking its way into existence, from the possibly concussion addled brain of former player Ron Jaworski was a ranking of NFL Quarterbacks which had Matt Flynn, this year’s Oakland Raider sacrificial offering, also listed as the dead last number 32 entry.
If these thunk-it-up-amacallits are anywhere close to accurate, Raider fans will witness through their inebriated and severely damaged cranial mechanisms what will be the 11th consecutive non-winning season for the silver and black franchise.
Translation for the mentally challenged Oakland fan base: Dig in you skull loving, eye-patch ensembled dipwads, it’s going to be another really loooooong, laughable debacle of a season! Hahahaha.
Actually, it would be good for the Bay Area blogs if the Raiders could manage to find their way back to respectability. It’s painful to see Raider fans slinking around vacantly like survivors of a nuclear holocaust. Poking fun at them is about as entertaining as hooting at a cripple.
It was easy to imagine Al Davis roaring down the road on an outlaw bike. Heck, he even looked like a skull during his final years. But his son? Mark Davis looks about as outlaw as George Michael Dukakis looked CIC when he was bouncing around in that 1988 Army tank.
The biggest reason to hope for a Raider turnaround, though, is getting to watch a decent football game on the Sunday AFC channel. The eight home games are always blacked out, forcing CBS to show some other game, but the eight road games are always televised and that means a black hole on the Sunday TV viewing landscape.
Colin Kaepernick referred to something called his “swag” in his recent attempts to belittle 49er fans while atoning for belittling 49er fans. Apparently, “swag” is THE most overused word by the most current new generation of American hominids. It historically meant stolen booty, but now means just about anything along the lines of “it is what it is”, “uh, you know, stuff”, “my shit, dude”, or “I don’t have a vocabulary, but I do have a word that means ‘whatever’ and makes me sound like a with-it young fellow.”
Is it just me or does it seem like there’s an Appalacian type sub-culture dialect creeping through America that is used by rich guys trying to sound homeboy hip and unemployed guys selling and using drugs? Or is it just today’s “swag” replacing yesterday’s “thing”?
– Skeebers Skeeberton Skeebaloney, swagging off.