Minicamp Munchies

The first day of minicamp produced a torrent of news that didn’t abate until the entire bottom of a thimble had been dampened. AJ Jenkins caught a difficult pass and Scott Tolzien tossed two to four interceptions, depending which beat reporter’s eye you trust most. And 4th string unfortunately named QB BJ Daniels juked Patrick Willis so bad that our star LB fell down in a heap of hideous ignominy.

In other news, Jim Harbaugh extended an olive branch to rival HC Pete Carroll by calling his Seahawk team a bunch of lying, cheating scumbags. Pete has yet to respond to this friendly overture.

Tim Tebow, the NFL’s version of cotton candy, continued to make news by signing a temporary contract, holding a press conference, and then disappearing deep into the Patriots’ depth chart, where he will inspire one and all with his enthusiastic, hard working ineptitude. Look for Tim to surface again on cut down day near the end of August as he holds a press conference to expound upon the wonders of his latest pink slip.

Chad “Formerly Cinco Uno” Johnson was heaved in jail for 30 days for trying to make funny in a courtroom. He succeeded, but the judge was not amused. As Cinco, Chad was repeatedly fined by the NFL for attempting to be fined by the NFL. As Just Plain Chad, Mr. Johnson might be joking himself straight into a life sentence for premeditated, unrelenting horseplay.

I got news for you Chad, it’s a mean, humorless world out here. If hanging were still legal, you’d see guys dangling from the street light arms every day. On your way to work, you could look up and go, “Hey, there’s Joe! Must have peed on his neighbor’s flowers one too many times.”

My sleeper pick for reality bites is Terrell Owens. He’s reported to be ready to accept the fact that nobody is interested any more in T.O., NFL football player. As he slips back into the ooze from whence he came, is anybody going to be surprised when he bubbles up from time to time in some sort of deep doodoo?

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68 comments on “Minicamp Munchies
  1. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    I told you a couple years ago, Skeebs, that TO was a disaster, but you didn’t listen to me.
    Some day I’m going to have to write a freakin’ novel.
    Steinbach’s was Travels with Charlie.
    Mine will be Travels with Myself.
    We still have Kappy but what’s up when he gets hurt? Serious question because it will happen sooner or later.
    Who’s 2nd? 3rd? Then guys won’t be so eager to break Kappy’s back.

  2. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Tim Tebow is in the NFL and TO isn’t.
    You guys keep picking the nags.
    It’s fun watching.

  3. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Aso’s playing left corner now.
    Who the hell do you think argued on this blog to get him?
    Yeah, nobody reads this stuff. All the Sportswriters do, and probably coaches and scouts as well.
    McCoy, Tolzien, we need better backups.
    Next year.

  4. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    TO is turning his attention to bowling.

  5. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Reno, I’m sure I’ll never find it again, but did you ever see TO’s career in Philadelphia?
    He thought he was Babe Ruth or something. Definite screw loose.

  6. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Actually, RT, I was never a T.O. booster, so I couldn’t possibly have argued with you to the contrary.

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The good news for TO in bowling is it is so much more of an individual sport than football.

  8. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    You cannot argue with the production. In 219 games TO had 153 TDs. Megatron has 92 games and 54 TDs and Fitzgerald 140 games and 77 TDs.
    I wonder if TO hadn’t flipped out with his BS and stuck with the Niners how things might have been different for him and the team.
    I think TOs slide started with his spiking the ball on the Cowboy’s logo. That was the beginning of the end as something popped in his brain and the antics started.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-nxdzgQH8U

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Watching the last play on the video I’m just thinking where was this play in the Super Bowl and boy could we have used this combination? The fade with a blitz coming looked easy.
    TO was not a burner but he was a big receiver who made a lot out of YAC and sure scored a lot of TDs just like Rice.

  10. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    I always thought TO was clearly one of the most gifted football players of his time, who could absolutely dominate a game, and was also clearly mentally ill. Dude probably should have been on meds. Being a rich sports star only gave him more ability to avoid that and continue embarrassing himself.

  11. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    TO was one the greatest receivers I’ve ever seen. Without a doubt.
    It’s the 10 cent brain I worried about.
    Excuse me Gents, but a heat wave hit New Mex last week.
    “Some Like It Hot”? Not when it’s record setting and it blows the AC.
    That’s why I’ve been posting early and late. The middle of the day you just sit quietly and count the blades of brown grass dying. What grass there is here in the desert.

  12. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Today’s doh remark:
     
    “New 49ers safety Craig Dahl says part of reason Rams played SF tough was because 49ers tipped plays, run or pass, by personnel/formation.”

  13. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Want an even bigger d’oh? Craig Dahl starting at safety Week 1 vs the Pack. D’oh!

  14. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I guess only us fans and our opponents were the only ones who knew we were tipping plays. The coaches were too busy patting each other on the back for their schemes that didn’t work. Good thing we signed Dahl to educate our brilliant coaching staff. Just tell AJ to get wide open and don’t tell Del!

  15. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The Smith bashers didn’t think we were tipping plays. To them it was just Smith’s fault. There was no other reason we ever lost when he was at QB. I noticed the hanging posse mostly went over to unca’s blog where they could spend all day patting themselves on the back while they agreed with each other for weeks and months on end. They only had to deal with one Smith fan over there, but he was awesome in his tenacity!

  16. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Oh give me a break, Reno.
    Didn’t you write time and time and time again,
    “I’ll let the coaches decide and I’ll stand by that decision.”
    Now you’re crawling to the Alex We Miss side of the fence.
    At least it makes good blogging material.
    Anyway, you found Kappy before any of us. You have the right to crow.

  17. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    If we were tipping our plays, how must the Buffalo Bills and New York Jets feel?
     
    “Yeah, we got totally taken apart by those guys, even though we knew what was coming.”
     
    I think our own week-to-week inconsistency was a larger problem.

  18. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    You are correct, I did say that. I’m just recalling what I read from others. To them, I was a Smith lover because I didn’t join the hanging posse. They did not allow neutrality. You couldn’t point out where you disagreed with anything they said without being labeled a Smithbot, or lover or whatever.

  19. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Grumpy- They did have the D-line the Rams had to stand up to our heavy sets. Michael Brockers is an absolute stud in the middle.

  20. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t care about Alex anymore. I’ll say two things though. One, Alex was inconsistent. Two, he was far, FAR from the only one, and our inconsistency did not stop with his replacement. The offense, the defense, the coaching, even the effing cheerleaders seemed to have their ups and downs last year. Trying to reduce that tendency is one of Jimbo’s biggest jobs this season.

  21. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Best football quote of alltime:
    “You just beat America’s Team.”

    “Well, America can sit back and watch us in the Super Bowl.”

    Dwight was a cutup. He was a 10th round pick out of my cuz’s alma mater, Clemson in bee-youtiful South Carolina.

  22. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Grumpy- I meant to say they ‘DIDN’T’ have the D line the Rams had.

  23. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Bergs, I didn’t mean to insult you.
    Argue with you, disagree with you?
    It’s called friendship and competition of ideas.
    There’s a lot of stuff we’ll never agree upon, so I try to stay away from it.
    I’m just a stupid old Niners Fan after all. Till the day I keel over.

  24. robNo Gravatar says:

    here’s one for you ! if alex is in on that final play i bet he goes to vernon for a TD ! VERNON snags the ball out of the air vs. triple coverage and we win the superbowl !

  25. robNo Gravatar says:

    gawd i want crabtree back and healthy by november ! if he’s back in time and can play like he is capable of when healthy … we’re knocking on the door of another championship !

  26. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Here’s my football trivia of the day.
    First, Lenvil Elliot was probably the most key man in The Drive That Started Camelot.
    What school did he go to? One hint only, it wasn’t the Pac-10, it wasn’t in the ACC, and it wasn’t an indy school like Notre Dame.
    You find gems where you find them.
    That’s my official scouting report, sirs!

  27. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Rob- Kap locked onto Crabs. It cost him the TD. Smith would not have done that and almost certainly would have scored. But I don’t think Smith orchestrates the comeback Kap did so he would not have had the opportunity in the first place. All in all, Kap was the right guy for the situation.

  28. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    RT- I don’t usually take anything personal on blogs. You are one that never needs to worry what you say to me. Debating and telling experiences are why we are here. If we all agreed there would be no debating. Apology would be accepted if it was needed, but it is not necessary.

  29. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Bergs, I was hoping for that because I think you are a great friend.
    Now get your sorry arse off the bed and watch some tape.
    It’s fun watching a great QB dismantle fantastic teams.
    I have time for this now because of the Heat Wave.
    When this is over, I’ll be down at the park, all over the place in the cranky old ’66.
    For now I’ll watch film.

  30. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    The FF Toolbox has their ADP (Average Draft Position) for each player being taken in drafts. Mocks or otherwise. Just in the QB section, rookie E.J. Manuel is the 25th QB being taken with an ADP of 179.88 Who’s next at 26? None other than Alex Smith at 187.16 A rookie out of FSU who may or may not start for the Bills is being taken ahead of Alex and Rob thinks Alex would have hit Vernon for the game winning TD in the Super Bowl. Shit. Alex has a better chance hitting a wide open A.J. Jenkins on our sideline when he rolls right and throw his patented ball OB in our preseason game. Might be the only pass A.J. catches all year.

  31. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I think the Alex Smith hanging posse will carry their feelings to their graves.
    There was a lot of venom aimed at you if you ever said a kind word about Smith.
    They would tell you that JT O’Sullivan and Shaun Hill were superior QBs to Smith.
    Then Smith was hurt and Carr came in and suddenly the posse went silent.
    Good times!

  32. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    You’re as bad as Ramsey Snow on GOT.
    Enjoying eating that sausage in front of Theon?
    Ramsey is even more psycho than Joffery.

  33. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Hey guys, I found an old video on YouTube. Won’t be there long if you know YouTube.
    Bill Walsh training Joe Montana how to do 3 step drops, 5 steps and 7 steps.
    Freakin’ unreal.
    That’s how you play.

  34. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    “You don’t just a go pattern unless the defender is on the outside and tne receiver is in”
    “And you have to trust your receiver and his speed.”
    Been a fun day, I’ve learned more about football from Bill Walsh than I ever thought I knew.
    Still not too late to watch it again,

  35. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    RT- I’ve seen those videos many times. Is one of those the one where he teaches the QB to point the front foot at the target?

  36. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    No, Bergs, it’s the 3 step, 5 step, and 7 step.
    And how to get the ball away in 3 seconds even on a 7 step drop.
    Can’t do it without a good QB, and thanks to you we have Kappy.

  37. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The Niners signed a WR today Carswell.
    He banged his knee up at the minicamp today and didn’t return to the field.
    That 90th roster spot keeps getting hurt.

  38. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Fangio wasn’t exactly giving Nnamdi a glowing review with his quote: “I do think he’s a good fit as a guy and a person,” Fangio said. “He’s been a tremendous guy here. He’s learning. He’s been a real pro. Remains to be seen how well he can cover. Guys got to be able to cover at the corner position. But, I do think our style of play does potentially fit his style where he’s at in his career right now. So, hopefully he can make a strong contribution to us. But, that’s yet to be determined.”
    .
    If he and Dahl are ever on the field at the same time it would be nothing but a comedy of errors. In fact, those two would constitute the greatest comedy duo since Laurel and Hardy. I can just see Nnamdi thinking he has help over the top from Dahl, so he presses. Dahl reads run and crashes early towards the line of scrimmage leaving Nnamdi all alone in single coverage. Percy Harvin runs a stop n’ go and goes right on by for a 50 yd TD pass from Wilson. Nnamdi turns to Dahl as the Seahawks celebrate in the end zone and says, “Well, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into.”

  39. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    What Dahl revealed is nothing new about the Niners tipping plays as it was discussed by Fooch and Niner Nation last Dec. Has to do with Boone and how he sets up differently for run and pass. Very thorough analysis.
    sbn.to/QQkLeZ

  40. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Thinking back only one HOF QB has tried to be a head coach. Bart Starr was a Packer legend but as a head coach was 52-76.
    HOF QBs seem to gravitate to TV and not to coaching.
    What set Montana apart from other QBs was his vision and ability to see the entire field. He could go through a progression of 4 or 5 receivers and then hit the checkdown. Most QBs look at 2 or 3 and then go checkdown. Sometimes Alex Smith went checkdown if his primary was covered.
    Montana was the greatest of All Time and what he had can’t be taught or learned watching a video.Mechanics and footwork can be taught but what you see can’t and is like a sixth sense. Consider yourself lucky that Montana played on your team because another Joe Montana isn’t walking through that door to QB the Niners anytime soon.

  41. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Right now Harbaugh might be the most successful ex NFL QB who went to coaching.
    Harbaugh was not even close to being HOF material as a QB but more of a journeyman who could start like Jeff Garcia.

  42. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Tom Flores, maybe. Sam Wyche. Norm Van Brocklin never coached a good enough team. There’s probably a few others I can’t think of.
     
    And Mike Holmgren was very arguably an NFL QB, if you count training camp. Never played a regular season down, though.

  43. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, check out the latest Rich Eisen podcast with Aaron Rodgers. They don’t talk football one bit. It’s all GoT banter. Rodgers is a huge Khaleesi fan. Who isn’t? If our defense, and secondary in particular, doesn’t shape up right quick. The Niners will have their own “Red Wedding” when he and the Pack come rolling into the ‘Stick Week 1.

  44. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Flores had a good coaching record with the Raiduhs and then he did a George Seifert and went to the Seahags and his losses piled up. Flores was also mostly a backup QB
    with his playing days in the early 60’s AFL so it’s a mystery to me except for raw stats.
    In the long run we’ll see how Harbaugh does.

  45. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    WR Austin Collie is working out for the 49ers today.
    Our WR corps is truly nothing more than a bunch of dogs. *groan*

  46. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Lenvil Elliot carried and caught the ball more than anyone except Joe on The Drive that Started Camelot.
    Answer to my trivia question:
    That football powerhouse NE Missouri.

  47. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    RT- I had to look it up, so I did not answer.

  48. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Bergs, I’ve been watching lots of film because of my back and The Heat Wave that is almost over.
    In the Drive that Started Camelot, on CBS Hank Stram was doing color and Vin Sculley play by play.
    Hank Stram was a Super Bowl Champ.
    He described the game dispassionately, clinically, like a surgeon.
    He called the pick play before it happened.
    Me, I’m Vin Sculley. I like to scream and yell when I see unbelievable stuff.

  49. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit’s not going to believe this but I have a friend in SoCal.
    A woman, and we met playing one of those ridiculous online wargames.
    She was a newlywed and her hubby is a cop in San Berno.
    Never met her, just tried to give her advice.
    She was from Ole Miss.
    Ever been to Mississippi? Ain’t nothing there this time of year but heat and grits.
    And some of the most beautiful women in the entire world, though I happen to prefer Georgia. I’m not talking about hookers, either.
    Here, most of the woman are Native descendants and it’s not hard to figure out they still hate us Euro guys.
    Still, I try. They know that, too.
    One day I’ll find one and that’ll be it.
    Mississippi Valley State.
    Jerry Rice, Flash 80.
    And Bullit, I’m talking about flirting and dating. Nothing else. So just put your mind to rest.

  50. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    And Bullit, Sue has an MBA and we’re still friends and always will be.
    Purely platonic because she’s married and I don’t go there.
    If she weren’t, I’d think I’d be in SoCal now.
    I helped her save her marriage. I’ll always be happy about that.
    Mississipi Valley State. Fifi!!!
    #80

  51. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    20 Halfback Curl Up.
    The last play Bill Walsh called.
    Just to change the subject.
    You never quit until you die.

  52. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    You guys really need to get yourself better computers.
    YouTube doesn’t stay on long, but some fan or another is always posting about the Niners.
    It’s awesome.
    Bill Walsh, Joe Montana, Fred Dean, you can get anything if you try and wait.
    I got lucky I guess with my computer. It plays vids really well.

  53. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Jeebus, Bullit, I just found one of the 2011 Gold Rush Finals.
    I wasn’t even trying, and I can’t watch it again.
    Those gentleman, are the gals who make it all possible.
    The Gold Rush.

  54. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Lenvill Elliott? 18 and 19 Bob. The old Packer sweep during the drive when the Cowboys were in a base nickel. They were looking pass all the way. The genius that was Bill Walsh.

  55. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    A dime, Dennis, they had 6 DBs in there.

  56. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And I can’t say for certainty, but after they ran that first play I probably jumped from Seat 9, Row 5 in Section 57 and said, THROW THE DAMN BALL!!!

  57. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Walsh ran the ball to make those 6 Dbs come up and get hit.
    Wear them out.
    There is so much more to football and coaching than I will ever know.
    I feel like Nate Davis.

  58. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis, my friend and I were pretending to study German at the JC.
    He invited me over and his gal made us sandwiches, nachos, I don’t even remember now. She was so sweet and I think they’ve been married a very long time now.
    When the game started, Jim had this pillow that he put a Cowboy uniform on.
    At opening kickoff, he kicked it and nearly broke their TV.
    Then we sat down and watched the game. A couple smokes, a couple beers.
    Best day of my life.

  59. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Walsh had the Cowboys running all over the field on that last drive. The telling TV shot was at the two minute warning – the Cowboys were on their knees, completely exhausted. The 49ers had been quicker all day, but 6 49er turnovers kept it a lot closer than it should have been.

  60. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Joe had 4 picks that day, wasn’t it? And 2 fumbles? Something like that.

  61. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Joe had 3 picks and the Niners had three fumbles that weren’t his.
    One was at the 50 or The Catch never wouldn’t have happened.
    Walsh knew Landry was a great coach and the Cowpukes were a great team. America’s Team.
    Sneak attacks. Try this play and then that one with the Bill Walsh Offense and see where those big guys fail.
    Chuck, watch Ronnie Lott after The Catch. Coach had to almost knock him down to settle him.
    You’re trying to pick a fight with again this year about Joe Montana being the best NFL QB of all time.
    All right if it makes you happy.

  62. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    The Cowboys had been to the Super Bowl 5 times in 10 years.
    Best goddamn team in America.
    Until the Niners came along.
    Think I’ll watch The Drive Again, but the After Drive Video is the best.

  63. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    Jim Stuckey, #79.

  64. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    We’re going there again.
    Soon, very soon.
    We have the QB, we have the D, and now it’s just a matter of training and how the season goes.
    Blind luck, really, a lot of it.
    But you have to have talent and you have to have proper coaching.
    We’ve got them in spades now.

  65. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Brandon Browner reacted to Harbaugh’s comments on getting caught taking PEDs.
    “”I don’t have anything for it. At the end of the day we gotta win football games. He’s a coach. He’s never gonna be out there lined up against me. I wish he would. I’d put my hands around his neck.”
    Let’s get ready to rumble……..

  66. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith is the starting QB for the Chiefs.
    Tim Tebow is a 3rd string QB on a team that has kept only 2 QBs on their active roster for the last couple of years.

  67. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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