Lip O Suck Shun

Easter has come and gone, and those of you who attempt to give devout behavior at least a smidgeon of your attention can now ease back into your wicked and sinful ways. Those of you who are devoutless devotees can carry on as usual in your relentless journey to the Judgment Door for that inevitable “Oh, Shit!” moment.

It’s April 2 and time to update the 49er Free Agent tracker. Of the 49er FAs, WR Randy Moss, DL Isaac Sopoaga, WR Ted Ginn, TE Delanie Walker, DL Ricky Jean-Francois, and DB Dashon Goldson have all taken a hike for greener pastures — except for Moss, who just got the get lost treatment. K David Akers was also sent packing. Still unsigned by anyone are OG Leonard Davis, LB Tavares Gooden, LB Larry Grant, and LB Clark Haggans. DB Tramaine Brock and DB Darcel McBath have been re-signed by the team.

FAs the 49ers have signed or traded for include WR Anquan Boldin, DL Glenn Dorsey, WR Marlon Moore, K Phil Dawson, QB Colt McCoy, and db CRAIG DAHL!!!

Seven departures, six arrivals, three in limbos, and two re-uppers. Net gain/loss: -2.

If anyone read all the way through the previous three paragraphs without glazing over, we’ll email you a free copy of Help, I’m an Embryo!, the life and times of Spitblood in utero.

Last year at this time, Kyle Williams’ 49er career was on the ropes. Then, after narrowly making the team, he blew out his knee in the ninth game of the season. Net result? He’s now slated to be our #1 punt return guy and 4th wide receiver. He’s made more career progress while on IR than he made as an active player.

While Trent Baalke refurbishes the roster’s basement, attic, and laundry room, Jim Harbaugh and his coaches are no doubt burning the midnight oil trying to devise a way to beat the Seahawks’ Russell Wilson. When last we saw Wilson, he was running around in his own backfield making the 49er defenders look like the Keyston Cops for a ridiculous 17 seconds before anyone could tackle him. He also threw 42 points up on the scoreboard. If the 49ers don’t figure out how to contain this midget, the seasons ahead are not going to be very joyous.

I hope no one is offended by my use of the term “midget.” Actually, I don’t give a crap, but Lip Service is now a national mandate and if I don’t perform it, my license for being an unlicensed nobody will be terminated by a dipshit somebody. You can be politically incorrect now only if you are a member of the slurred group. For instance, I can use the term “honky” because I’m a white caucasian, even though I have no idea what a caucasia is. I can even use “pale face,” which is a little too somber for my tastes. Honky is good, though. It’s got some gusto to it.

Sometimes I envy my Dad, because his generation didn’t have any PC terms. It’s fun to be around him because he still uses all those snappy terms of yore. He gets away with it because he’s really old and is now in the category of being a “character.” As in, “That’s grandpop! What a character.” The grandchildren get a bang out of him.

At any rate, it’s been a long offseason for Chris Culliver. Hopefully, he’ll come back next season wrinkle free and ready to keep his mouth shut when microphones are in the vicinity. This is not the rugged frontier country we grew up to admire, Toto. The bankers have won the war.

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda
70 comments on “Lip O Suck Shun
  1. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Harbaugh brought McCoy in because he can run the read option
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htpJjUAdkbo

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers- IMO, PC is about lawyers and certain groups and/or people making money or gaining political power. Nothing else.

  3. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    A little more on Colt McCoy.
    Nice looking pool table and Colt can hit receivers going 42 mph.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1MxaDXf9jE

  4. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Shit, Colt’s arm looks real noodly in that pic, Bullitt.

  5. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Then again, so does his girlfriend’s.

  6. robNo Gravatar says:

    i’m very happy with the colt mccoy signing ! i liked him in the draft and holmgren did too !

  7. robNo Gravatar says:

    mccoy for a seventh was a really good move !

  8. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Per Maiocco, the 49ers sent the Browns a seventh-round pick and a fifth-round selection (No. 164 overall) in exchange for the McCoy and Cleveland’s sixth-round selection (No. 173 overall). We have two ‘tradeable’ seventh rounders – our own (237) and the one we got from Cincy for Taylor Mays (227). No word yet on which we dealt. The two compensatory 7ths cannot be traded.

  9. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Looks like AZ coach Arians has managed to out-harbaugh Haraugh:
     
    “Arians says his qb room as strong as any in NFL.”

  10. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Arians is just a little giddy he got Palmer and not Smith. Palmer will at least look at Fitzgerald a few times per game.

  11. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    “49ers reached agreement on a one-year deal with former Eagles CB Nnamdi Asomugha.”
     
    Somebody get ROB some smelling salts.

  12. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    A reminder that there are plenty of dumbasses out there and the world is not getting smarter.
    Watch where you’re going.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyZtpbW1ZzQ

  13. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Nnamdi signs for 1.35 Million base, possible 3M total for one year – but NO guaranteed money. I can live with that.

  14. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I think signing Nnamdhi was a better move than signing Woodson.
    If he can regain his form this will be quite a steal.
    Does does make Culliver a Safety?
    They still need to draft a cover slot corner like Mathieu.

  15. winderNo Gravatar says:

    I like what Baalke is doing. Both Nnamdhi and Colt are good players and great additions to the team.

  16. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The great thing about signing Nnamdhi is it shuts down the Revis trade rumors.
    Revis would implode the Niner salary cap and handcuff the team for the length of his contract.

  17. robNo Gravatar says:

    OMG ! reports are out that we signed nnamdi asomougha ! GOOD MOVE and it only cost us our remaining 3 mil in cap space !

  18. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Niners finally announced the trade officially.
    They waited until McCoy passed his physical and ate lunch with Harbaugh.

    The 3 Niner QBs have their birthdays on consecutive days, Sept 3,4 and 5. CK and Tolzein are the same age and McCoy is a year older.

  19. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Seriously? Nnamdi? We’re just trying to lose now.
    I give up.

  20. winderNo Gravatar says:

    lol, c’mon dennis this one is a no-brainer. He will still have to make the team so we’ll see if there’s anything left in the tank.

  21. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Nnamdhi signed for the same money we are paying Tremaine Brock.
    The only difference is the 1.6 mil in incentives.
    I do remember how bothered some people were when we lost on to the Egos two years ago.
    Now he’s coming $10.5 mil cheaper
    on what would’ve been year 3 of a 5 year contract.

  22. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I didn’t want him then or now necause of his price tag. At what they are paying him now? Why not? They’ll draft his replacement anyway.

  23. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m expecting to have Nnamdi for his mentorship as well.
    2 tall CBs I like are Blidi Wrey-Wilson and Jonathan Banks.
    See what happens in a few weeks.

  24. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Wreh-Wilson that is.
    Wouldn’t mind Xavier Rhodes either.
    He’ll be long gone by the time we pick.

  25. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Banks can also handle PR duties.
    He’s highly probable for us IMO.
    Figures to be there later in the 1st Round.

  26. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Interesting read. But I still reluctantly believe that *IF* we had scored that Super Bowl TD, the defense would have allowed Flacco to march down the field for the winning FG. Flacco was on fire, and our defense was never the same after Justin got hurt. It was just not going to be our day. Maybe this year…

  27. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    On April 1st Carlos Roger’s contract became fully guaranteed for 2013.
    Signing Nnamdhi does not mean Rogers will be cut as some have speculated.
    Also Tavares Gooden is visiting the Steelers today.

  28. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis, pace yourself. Yer in mid-season blather mode. They are drafting a couple DBs, and likely Nnamdhi’s replacement. We need some depth and more flexibility in the defensive backfield. This is what we get from him.

  29. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hard to play the what-if game Grump, but the thing is, the Niner D kept Balt out of the end zone the entire 2nd half. If the Niners went for 2 and got it, that FG would have tied the score. Hard to know what happens.
    .
    The problem was first half adjustments in all the playoff games. The Niners fell behind in all those games. Hard to play catch-up all the time.

  30. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    One play that has gotten little attention and was a crucial turning point in the Super Bowl was LaMichael James’ fumble. Niners were marching down 7-3 in the second quarter.
    James needed to get down rather than fight for the extra yard making him a human piñata, exposing himself to vicious hits making the fumble possible.
    Huge momentum swing and started the slide to falling behind.

  31. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Nothing has been overlooked in regards to this last Super Bowl. Escept for maybe the coin toss.

  32. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    CSN made a correction on an erroneous report on Carlos Rogers
    which I used as a source
    “Updating an earlier item, just $1.25 million of Carlos Rogers’ $5.85 million salary became guaranteed by remaining on the roster through April 1.
    It was previously believed all of Rogers’ salary became guaranteed on Monday, but it was just 21.2 percent of it. It should still go a long way toward securing Rogers’ roster spot following the signing of Nnamdi Asomugha, but Rogers could be approached about a pay-cut before Week 1.”

  33. robNo Gravatar says:

    interesting bit from an nfl.com article ! it talks about five teams who might be able to replace a player lost in free agency with a draft pick ! this one names a player i’ve had on my radar for quite awhile !


    San Francisco 49ers

    OUT: Isaac Sopoaga (signed with Philadelphia Eagles)
    IN: Jesse Williams

    After eight seasons in San Francisco, Sopoaga departed via free agency and landed with the Eagles. The 49ers’ run defense has been dominant of late (top six in rushing yards allowed during each of the last four seasons), and Sopoaga deserves his share of credit. He didn’t post big tackle numbers, but he played very stout at the point of attack and kept opposing blockers from getting to the second level. Williams excelled in the same role on Alabama’s defense. He plays with a similar power base to Sopoaga, but he offers more as a run defender because of his quickness and range to make plays outside of the tackle box. He also has more upside as a pass rusher. Sopoaga is a solid player, but Williams would be an upgrade at nose tackle for the 49ers.

    hmmm

  34. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    If NJ’s good with Jesse, so am I.
    .

  35. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m good with Jesse Williams. He’s not a can’t miss but he is as close as you’re going to get at 31 or 34. He is not that dynamic but he is a hard worker and strong as ever. He does have short arms, but that is not as important at NT as it is at DE.

  36. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The player I would compare Williams to is Brandon Mebane. He is probably a little better. Mebane has had some impressive games against us over the last few yaers. If he turns into a really good NT, I think he will remind me more of Casey Hampton. That would be great!

  37. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Jesse Williams? Are you people trying to send me to an early grave? I watched him at ‘Bama. Many a times. He’s a fat POS who just stands there. He will not collapse the pocket. He has absolutely zero pass rushing ability. He’s a one-trick pony who plays the zero technique. In fact, he’s a zero. Next!

  38. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Nnamdi speaks? Dennis quotes stats: In 8 yrs with the Raiders Nnamdi gave up 9 TDs. In 2 yrs with the Eagles Nnamdi gave up 11 TDS. That’s ELEVEN. That’s YO on the craps table. That’s Alex effing Smith on your jersey number. But he just wants to compete. Here’s a thought. How bout he try covering somebody first.

  39. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del- I’m not saying Williams is who I would pick, but depending on who is available, maybe he’s our guy. I am predicting(subject to change) we take Williams and either Banks or Reid. I think Vaccaro and Cyprien will be gone.

  40. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I will never forgive the San Francisco Forty Niners for losing the Super Bowl.
    They did something that I thought was humanly impossible: they made my life even more miserable. Eff them and cotton-picking horse they rode in on.

  41. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Tim Lincecum is now walking his opposite number in Beckett. But, hey. At least he finally got an effing haircut. Bastard!

  42. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, Like I just told ya a minute ago on the phone — just get me TWO guys outta this draft. Give me Star Lotulelei and Kenny Vaccaro. I don’t care what it takes. Package up all our picks. Those two would start immediately and play every down.
    .
    Hey, Berger. A.J. Jenkins got wide open all the time at Illinois.

  43. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Del the upside with Jesse is he is very similar to Justin in terms of strength.
    He’s a good fit for what we do IMO.
    Kid played with a bum knee for some time at ‘Bama but, he played.
    I’d love to add him and a wide body like Jenkins along with a stud 5T to compliment Aldon.
     
    With the pocketful of Picks we have at our disposal we can add depth where we need it most.

  44. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m growing fond of Datone Jones and Tank Carradine too.
    The trick Baalke has to pull off is the slotting.
    There’s tons of talent we can use from this Class, it’s a matter of getting them in the right places of course.
     
    I expect to add DL and DBs early.
    There’s value at WR and OLB into the Mid Rd area I think.
    We could luck out with a DB/S there too.
     
    One guy I absolutely want to see us get is OLB Jamie Collins.
     
    Might have to sneak him in with one of 2nd Rd Picks if he gets through Rd 1, which I expect he will.
     
    I’ve read that Indy and Pittsburgh have shown significant interest in him already.
    IMO the kid is MONEY.
     
    Adding him in with Willis,Bowman and Brooks would be outstanding.

  45. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve cooled on Vacarro considerably due to his 4.6 speed.
    I’d look to David Amerson and convert him from CB to FS.
    Eric Reid is my first choice at FS.
    Love Matt Elams’ game but can’t see putting another short S back there.
    Earl Wolff or TJ McDonald as SS for me.
    I want taller/faster Safeties from this Class.
    I also expect to see Baalke grab a smaller quicker Slot CB too.
    He could roll the dice on Tyrann Mathieu.
    I also like Robert Alford.

  46. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Donte Whitner, the REAL guy who plays SS for your 49ers just tweeted: “F**k nnamdi”
    .
    And I thought I was harsh. Can’t wait to see what Whitner tweets about Craig Dahl.

  47. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Berger. Got a football handy? Throw it to A.J. Jenkins. He’s wide open.

  48. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Having Reid and McDonald as a tandem would be fine by me.
    They both run well, are tall and, can jump.

  49. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I’d like to amend my demands. I’d like four guys outta this draft. Add Mathieu and Marcus Lattimore to my list of Star and Vaccaro. That’s three guys who can help immediately, and a workhorse RB to replace Gore in a year.

  50. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    SS Shawn Williams from UGA wouldn’t be a bad option either.

  51. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’d roll the dice on Lattimore too Del.
    Class kid who comes to play.
    It’s all about the knee repairs.
    We could afford to get him healthy while he learns from Frank too.

  52. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I believe Nnamdhi will bounce back without the burden of a mega contract creating unrealistic expectations.
    Shutdown corners get burned too, just not that often. Fangio will put him in a scheme where he will exhibit his strengths.

  53. robNo Gravatar says:

    DEL

    ” I’d like to amend my demands. I’d like four guys outta this draft. Add Mathieu and Marcus Lattimore to my list of Star and Vaccaro.”

    I’LL bet you frank the cat’s life savings we don’t get any of them !

  54. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    To think Nnamdi’s struggles were strictly contract related is a bit far-fetched. I’m wondering if Nnamdi takes over as nickel/3rd-down back. He needs to really prove he can play every down.

  55. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis, to get Vaccaro, the Niners would at the least need to trade up to the 16th (Rams) spot.
    .
    The Rams secondary is non-existent now, and Vaccaro would fill their desperate need for a safety.

  56. robNo Gravatar says:

    NOFEAR

    care to rethink your post ?

    ” Arians is just a little giddy he got Palmer and not Smith. Palmer will at least look at Fitzgerald a few times per game.”

    WINNING head coaches with championship pedigrees are giving multiple high , 2nd round draft picks , for alex smith ! perennial losers are signing palmer !

    you do the math !

  57. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Shit, the Niners could trade 3, 4, and 5, and still not lose a spot in those rounds. I’m beginning to think they may trade up big in the 1st.

  58. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Deluca,
     
    One high second round pick anyway. I don’t know what the conditional pick is.
     
    So now you’re an advocate of slow and safe? Alex is seen as the guy who won’t throw the game away now, but we’ll see.
     
    You’ve blamed the coaches, the systems, the receivers, the play calling, the o-line, and everything else you can think of for Alex’s crap in the past, I don’t see that changing just because he’s on a new team. SSDD.
     
    Who do _you_ think Larry Fitzgerald would rather have running his offense?

  59. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith!

  60. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Anyone not named Kolb, Skelton, Lindley, or Hoyer. The conditional pick is based on perfomrance. I think it’ll be best-case a 2, worst case a 3.
    .
    It doesn’t matter who they put back there. If they don’t fix their line, no one can get Larry the ball when they are running for cover.

  61. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Wow! Some people are just going to follow Alex Smith around the NFL hoping he fails.
    Still waiting for Mike Nolan to get a second chance?
    Maybe next year.

  62. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Niners preseason schedule

    San Francisco 49ers
    Week 1: Denver Broncos
    Week 2: at Kansas City Chiefs
    Week 3: Minnesota Vikings (NBC)
    Week 4: at San Diego Chargers

    We face Alex Smith in 2nd week.
    1st week Broncos but likely no Peyton or Manning for one series.

  63. robNo Gravatar says:

    NOFEAR i like palmer too , but seriously doubt anybody is
    ” giddy ”
    about having him over smith ! i get the feeling you’re still trying to beat a dead horse here !

  64. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Deluca, I’m sure you’re right. It was more of a reaction to the notion that Alex was going to bring another franchise to glory. But even I wouldn’t call Alex a dead horse yet.

  65. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Dead horses are who Del bets on!

  66. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I think Alex has a much better chance of doing just that than Palmer does.

  67. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Berger – now that was funny. I remember hearing the one about my horse was so good it took 5 others to beat it. I still can’t tell a horse by looking at it so i just bet the jockeys.
    .
    Alex Smith will never die.

  68. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30
10-21, L: Rams 39, 49ers 10
10-28, L: Cardinals 18, 49ers 15
11-1, W: 49ers 34, Raiders 3
11-12, L: Giants 27, 49ers 23

BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
Winder: 8-8

Bullit: 9-7
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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