Jan 31, 2013 Vacant Observations
The game cannot come soon enough. 100 mouths, 2,000 microphones, and still 5,000 game analyses to go before the kickoff.
I put my head in the sand yesterday, but it didn’t work. There were two ostriches down there talking about which player would lay the biggest egg in the game.
So far, only Randy Moss and Chris Culliver have roared forth in idiot speak for the 49ers, while over on the Baltimore side, all dumb remarks are funneled through Ray “Totally Clueless” Lewis, who announced how pleased he was to grandstand his way through the playoffs and give everyone a chance to thank him for his greatness. Lewis is such a creepy guy you wouldn’t hardly even feel a twinge of guilt if you smiled at the news next year that he had brain damage and was in the early stages of drooling.
If I made these remarks in front of a mike in New Orleans, they would immediately become bigger than life and I would have to issue a statement divorcing me from myself because my good me in my heart was sabotaged by the bad me in my brain which threw a bunch of garbage out my mouth while the good me wasn’t exercising due diligence. It’s obligatory nonsense in order to “move on.”
Maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to the previous years’ preludes to the Super Bowl, but it seems this year a lot of old skeletons are rising from the graves of SBs past. Marshall Faulk brings up Spygate and its coverup. Tim Brown claims ex-Raiders HC Bill Callahan sabotaged the 2002 SB. And the double homicide that occurred in the vicinity of the 2000 SB which involved Lewis.
Sunday’s game could be the last we will see of 12 49er fellows who will be free agents come Monday morning. The potential sayonaratics are Dashon Goldson, Delanie Walker, Randy Moss, Ricky Jean-Francois, Darcel McBath, Ted Ginn, Tavares Gooden, Larry Grant, Tramaine Brock, Clark Haggans, Leonard Davis, and Isaac Sopoaga.
Half of these guys are of the interchangeable parts variety, but the other half have played significant roles in the team’s success this year. Of these, Ginn seems most replaceable. Followed by Walker and Moss. The three that need to be re-signed are Goldson, RJF, and Sopoaga — all core members of the defense.
Technically, Alex Smith is not about to be a free agent, but he won’t be here next year either. Where he goes and what we get in exchange for him will be a hot topic for the post-SB blogosphere. One last go round for the guy who has made the blogs roar along for the past four years almost single-handedly. A super star lightning rod.
We’re getting close to the time period where it’s dangerous to go out and about. The Super Bowl hype has penetrated the consciousness of the non-football viewing populace and they are liable to accost you in the supermarket and ask you who you think will win between the 69ers and the Crows. They might even say this Lewis fellow is charming. No sense spending the weekend in lockup for assault and miss the game. Hide, fellow blogomaniacs, hide!
Tags: Alex Smith, Baltimore Ravens, Bill Callahan, Chris Culliver, Clark Haggans, Darcel McBath, Dashon Goldson, Delanie Walker, Isaac Sopoaga, Larry Grant, Leonard Davis, Marshall Falk, Randy Moss, Ray Lewis, Ricky Jean Francois, San Francisco 49ers, Tavares Gooden, Ted Ginn, Tim Brown, Tramaine Brock