The election is over, the World Series is over, the Bye Week is over. Time to return to those thrilling days of yesteryear. Hi yo, 49ers, away!
I can kind of see Jim Harbaugh riding around the West in a big, white steed, shooting the guns out of bad guys’ hands without ever blowing off a finger or thumb or even drawing blood, but riding off victorious with Tonto and pulling up his shirt and waving his belly around — that would be more Cicso Kid than Lone Ranger.
At any rate, we’ve got The Jaw vs The Mustache next Sunday. This will be the first of many games that remind Jeff Fisher he picked the wrong time to become an NFC West head coach.
Handing out midseason awards seems to be all the rage lately, but this site politely declines to do so. If you want to move air around the room just for the sake of movement, we prefer to recommend a Jerry Jones press conference. Jones, as most of you noticed, recently said he would fire himself as GM if he wasn’t actually himself, but since he is himself he promised Dallas fans that he would keep the incompetent GM in office as long as himselfness was the owner of the team. Cheers, Cowboy fans. Warm your hearts over that rosy promise!
We’re not sure if Jones’ speech amounted to throwing in the towel on this season or all seasons, but Mike Shanahan for sure tossed in the cloth after last Sunday’s loss. Until everyone on his team and elsewhere in civilization noticed this was kind of a quitter attitude, so Shanny quickly recanted his words by claiming he never meant them to be his actual words, but merely his virtual words which were prematurely ejected from his mouth and shouldn’t count as actually being real words.
Football can be a tough racket when your team stinks, it’s your fault, and you can’t fire youself to solve the problem.
Ken Whisenhunt is flirting carefully with this conundrum as his team sinks slowly into the desert sand after five straight losses. He decided to blame the team’s woes on guys who won’t play hurt, singling out Todd Heap and then refusing to discuss whether he had singled him out or not — the old failed Mike Nolan gambit. The real culprit, of course, is the guy who blissfully blew off getting any NFL quality beefers to play on the AZ offensive line, and waddled into the season with two backup QBs to try and function behind that porous mess.
But as humorous as it’s been to watch other teams and coaches flail around during this idle time in the 49er empire, seeing our own team spring back into action cannot come soon enough.