The 49ers have finally completed their climb to the top of the NFL rankings. Numero Uno, baby. What does this mean? Pretty much nothing, baby.
Unless you’re a 49er fan commenting on an Oakland Raiders’ blog site. Yeah, baby. Lots of fun! Hahaha!
Unfortunately, the 49er QB failed to achieve the top ranking himself. He trails Matt Ryan in the QB rankings, embarrassing not only himself, but the entire fan base. At least Alex Smith can boast improvement, though. For 216 straight pass attempts, he has improved his QB skills by .0000642%. At this rate, Smith will reach number one in the year 2014.
The team is off to a 2-0 start, but NT Isaac Sopoaga has been a forgotten man. The 49ers used their nickel package as the base defense against both Green Bay and Detroit, daring them to run, and neither team could. Detroit had moderate success, but not enough to dislodge the Niners from their plan and at the expense of their passing game, which is the bread and butter of their offense. That’s a trade off the Niners will take any game of the week.
That game plan should change this week when the team goes to Minnesota to face the Vikings and stonewall Adrian Peterson. With all the top tier passoholic teams the Niners will face this year, though, the Soap man will get a lot of time off and be fresh for the playoffs when we need him as a receiver out of the backfield. His role as third and short fullback has been turned over to Will Tukuafu this year, and Will has been a definite force as a lead blocker. Maybe Jim Harbaugh will skip the Brandon Jacobs bit, and install Soap as the ball carrier, with Will blocking for him. We may not get the first down, but somebody on the opposing team will be carted off after the collision, with one or more body parts in a position known as “dangling.” As in, “Gawk! That guy’s leg is dangling off his butt. It’s worse than a Theisman!”
Klondikean reader NoFear49er briefly used the Soapster’s latest incarnation as his avatar this week, in a fine tribute to this long time 49er stalwart. We can’t help wondering what Isaac’s mentor, Bryant Young, thinks of his latest forest-atop-bald-mountain hairdo. But not as much as we wonder what a woman at a bar might think if Soap sat down next to her and offered to buy her a drink.
The scab refs have taken a ton of grief this week after losing control of the Monday night Denver/Atlanta game. The old refs are refusing to accept a pay raise to $189,000 per year for their seasonal jobs. It’s hard to have much sympathy for them and it’s always hard to sympathize with the owners. The players are howling about the scabs, especially those on the losing end of a game, yet the players are the ones ignoring the rules and causing the mayhem. Perhaps the scabs should be armed with tasers. Barring that, we expect the league to issue a ton of fines today and possibly even a suspension for the player who grabbed a ref and dragged him away from a melee. If the players and coaches are not going to respect the scabs, they either have to go or the league has to come down hard on those who abuse them.
One thing seems clear. If the old refs don’t get back in for work pretty soon, they’re all going to lose the best part time job they ever had or ever dreamed of having. While the rest of the world just gradually accepts the new refs and they gradually get better at their jobs, grow thicker skins and more hair in manly man places. And guys like Larry King move on to get loudly indignant about some other topic they know nothing about.