We all have our squabbles and quibbles about various players on the 49ers, with some fellows probably more prone to squabbilifying than others due to the testicle shrinking weather conditions of the upper Yukon — but, hey, I’m no doctor!
Alex Smith, Michael Crabtree, and Dashon Goldson get the most action pro and con. Ted Ginn and Kyle Williams get grudging acceptance or not. Chilo Rachal has moved his disappointing rear end elsewhere. But one thing we all agree on, shrunken testicles or not, is that the 49ers have arrived. They will be serious contenders, each and every year, for quite a long time.
Some of you may be thinking, “Yada yada yada.”
To which I might be responding, “Go live in Cleveland for a half century and you will have the yada squeezed out of you in a long, agonizing, life squelching fashion. The only thing worse than getting a life sentence to root for Cleveland teams is living in the Bay Area with all the wonderful choices that surround you and choosing to be a Raiders fan. May as well tattoo a sign on your forehead: “i b dum.”
Go ahead. Look back over your life. Think of the years that none of the teams you root for were worth watching. You’ll find that bad shit happened to you that year. You lost your way. You wandered in the valley of darkness. You drifted off your rails. Some of you, not to mention any real estate salesmen rotting in Eureka and smoking pot all day while imagining they KNOW THINGS, never recovered!
Why do you think Oakland is falling apart? Its teams all stink. Year after year. This endless loser routine eats at you. Corrodes your soul. Turns your neighborhood into a wasteland. Makes you want to do drugs or become a chemist.
But I’m not going to belabor the point, whatever it was, since I already have, in spite of its non-existence. And I’m not going to expect to win the Super Bowl every year, either. That expectation is for rookies and aging alcoholics. After all, the football ain’t round. Get a clue.
Anyway, here’s a list of franchises that have never won a Super Bowl: Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, San Diego, Tennessee, Houston, Jacksonville, Philadelphia, Detroit, Minnesota, Carolina, Atlanta, Seattle, and Arizona. Almost half the teams in the league.
And here’s a list of good/great QBs who never won a SB: John Brodie, Ron Jaworski, Dan Marino, Dan Fouts, Mike Vick, Matt Hasselbeck, Roamn Gabriel, John Hadl, Ken Anderson, Archie Manning, Doug Flutie, Sonny Jurgensen, Boomer Esiason, Rich Gannon, Randall Cunningham, Donovan McNabb, Y. A. Tittle, Steve McNair, Fran Tarkenton, Jim Kelly, Warren Moon, Dan Marino, and I’m Sure I Missed Somebody.
So, be happy. And that’s all I have to say about that.