Cardinals HC Ken Whisenhunt says he’s excited about his QBs.
ha ha ha ha
Sure, Ken. And Jim Harbaugh and Alex Smith are just as tight as ever. And the trade for Carson Palmer was the greatest trade in NFL history. And Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman.
Oh it’s lying time again,
you’re gonna deceive me,
I can see that faraway look
in your eyes.
Lying has become so ordinary these days that people who tell the truth are immediately investigated for personality disorders or brain malfunctions or anti-Americanism. The truth will no longer set you free. It will get you jailed or fired or just ostracized.
Heck, we don’t even use our real names here on the blog. It makes it easier to tell whoppers without recrimination. It should also help us tell the truth without recrimination, but even in anonymity, the truth can be scary to forthwithicize.
There’s a presidential election this year, so you know the lies will be filling the air from sea to shining sea. Big, huge whoppers is what I’m saying. Bald faced baloney. But people will get all worked up about it anyway. The willing suspension of disbelief. What would we do without it?
There are probably scads of Cardinals fans at this very moment torturing their craniums into buying what Whisenhunt is selling. A month ago, they were lusting after Peyton and greasing the rails to expedite Kolb’s train out of town.
Let’s face it, the truth is usually bad for business. And when the business is draft preparation, lying is regarded as an art form. A GM and HC who can’t cut the mustard on the baloney are guys who will be out of jobs soon. What’s your deal? Pure b.s.
So far, GM Trent Baalke has been pretty good at drafting guys whom nobody saw coming and he never talked one word about right up to the moment he was on the clock in the draft room. Even the guy we drafted had no clue the team was interested in him.
The 49er Harbaalke tandem has tended toward the form of lying called stonewalling. This methodology was famously used by the Nixon administration during the early 70’s Watergate coverup. This historic pratfall also gave us the tag line of “gate” for every scandal since that has lots of people caught with their baloney in the wringer and their names in the headlines, most recently applied to the NFL’s very own Bountygate. We’ve even had Blowjobgate, highlighted by what is is was. Not a good lie, that’s for sure.
Lawyers have a form of lying called legal language. It is often expressed in mind-numbing fine print that can’t be read without a magnifying glass, and if you don’t read it, you will eventually be ripped off by it.
Lying is so necessary to civilization that we have even enshrined it in our cultures — the good lie. Good lies are used to save your marriage, get out of jail, keep your job, lift the spirits of terminally ugly people, convince little tots that there are magical entities in existence that hand out toys and rewards, and eulogize complete scoundrels for having the decency to finally croak and get the hell off the planet. I’m sure there are more lies I’ve neglected to clothe in goodness, but I’m really busy right now. [he’s lying]
The one place you definitely don’t want to lie, you would think, is in the confessional. But, people do it anyway because if they don’t, those waiting their turn out in the pews would hear the fateful, dead-giveaway sounds from the priest’s booth:
ha ha ha ha