Spine Bottom Roulette

The 49ers’ Training Camp 2011 ended Thursday, and the players broke camp by checking out of their hotel rooms, I guess, because they don’t go anywhere for camp any more. With the new CBA banning two-a-days, you can’t call these TC affairs grueling any more, either. Hard, maybe, but not the Rocklin in 100 degrees wish you were dead sense.

Science and drugs have allowed players to hone their muscles into gladiator specimens, but there’s nothing you can do to supersize the joints that are getting super-stressed by all these Superman bodies, and those hinges are snapping, popping, and tearing at a fairly alarming rate all over the league. You see a guy limp off the field nowadays and you don’t think “just a little sprain” — you think “probably tore his ACL.”

Judging by Jim Harbaugh’s post-camp comments Thursday, it appears Ahmad Brooks has won Manny Lawson’s old spot at strongside OLB. Over on the appropriately named weak side, Parys Haralson is fighting what we hope will be a losing battle to fend off Aldon Smith, our number one draft pick this year. Not only do we hope Parys loses this battle, but that he does so by the start of the regular season in three weeks.

Harbaugh characterized the progress so far in camp as “50 steps in a 1,000 step” program. Not only would you not cure many alcoholics with this sort of lengthy agenda, but at that pace it will take 20 years to complete the deal. I am sending an email to Harbaugh politely reminding him that his contract is only five years long and he won’t get to the fifth year without kicking some serious butt before then.

Further news in the butt department, Chilo Rachal got some tap-taps on the old heiny by Harbaugh, also. Whether this was merely to encourage him to keep working hard even though he loses his job to Adam Snyder or an indication that he will keep his job is yet to be revealed. Alex Boone has managed to keep Barry Sims retired this year, so this is a heart warming UDFA beer guzzling bad kid makes good story that is sure to find some ink in some sappy article or interview somewhere — oops, it just did. I’ll send this paragraph to Lowell Cohn and let him properly torture it.

CB Tramaine Brock is another UDFA butt warmer in the making, as Harbaugh AND Patrick Willis both gave him the rear end rub-a-dub Thursday. Harbaugh went so far as to suggest he was in a battle with Tarell Brown for a roster spot. Brown was once considered an up and comer, but his up never got very high and it could be his butt will be getting the boot treatment at cut down day.

And one last item in the butt ensemble, look who we have on the schedule tomorrow. Our old cross-bay, soon to be up-bay patsies, the Oakland Al Davises. Old Al hasn’t been seen much lately and what has been seen was not pleasing to the eyes. Can it be he has lapsed into the long awaited, partially glimpsed coma that Raider fans hope will free their team from bondage? Fuggedaboudit, Raiderettes. Bondage is what you twisted twerps prefer in the bedroom and what you get for following a useless organization. Here’s the key to the lock. Be sure to throw it away.

Go Niners!

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79 comments on “Spine Bottom Roulette
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- Your runic Raider comments leave me to believe you don’t like them!

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ49er was the one who correctly called for Boone.

  3. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Actually, the Raiders are alright. It’s their fans that should be shipped to Siberia right away.

  4. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    If Spencer keeps getting nicked up, Brock or Culliver could be starting really soon on one side.
     
    Brown has not shown enough in his time to justify his roster spot. Brock looks better right now. Culliver has more raw talent, though he is still learning the basics of the position. And Adams has some skills too. I’d go with the kids here.

  5. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Why can’t they be suicidal instead of homicidal? Masochistic instead of sadistic? Good instead of bad? Just wondering.

  6. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    The Raider fans not our CBs

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- Obviously using the word runic was a funny.

  8. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Phil- For your suicide hot line, tell them to put a lime in the coconut and call you in the morning. I learned that from a song.

  9. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Okay, I take it back. The Raiders should be shipped to Siberia, too.

  10. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I hear Timbuktu is nice this time of year. Especially for quarterbacks entering their 7th year with the same organization that haven’t done a goddamn thing. I’ll even upgrade him to 1st Class. It’ll be the first time he was 1st anything since being drafted.

  11. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, Rob, and others who played in our Yahoo! league last yr, I just sent out invites. Please check your yahoo e-mails.

  12. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    What were the standings last year?

    I know I had you beat, Dennis, however, I forgot to start Gore and he had a big day, to my dismay . . .

  13. robNo Gravatar says:

    DEL
    i just found some strange yahoo football thing in my email ! is this your doing ?

  14. robNo Gravatar says:

    berger
    who spotted alex boone first and when ? was our own NJ 49er ahead of even the 49ers in calling for boone pre-draft ?

  15. robNo Gravatar says:

    OK DEL
    now it’s getting serious ! i think i got more emails in my in-box today than in the last month and a half … and they’re all from espn or yahoo fantasy football !
    might you have had something to do with this , bacause i have a feeling you’re trying to get my attention !
    well , the answer is yes !
    i’ll play fantasy football this year !
    or at least until a meteor hits my laptop and i’m unable to continue playing !
    😉

  16. robNo Gravatar says:

    CHUCK
    if you’re worried about it , i made the playoffs last year with a team i couldn’t even manage because my laptop blew up !

  17. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger won the yahoo! league last year and yours truly took the ESPN crown. No help from Chuck was needed. Waaaaahhh!

  18. robNo Gravatar says:

    ok so if i want to draft your favorite player #1 over-all is that ok ?

  19. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Ok I just signed up for NFL Audio League Pass for $27. I’ll be faithfully listening and reading here tomorrow at 8 AM which of course is 5 pm your time.

  20. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Bergs I will be prescribing the lime in the coconut for all my crazy clients as of right now.

  21. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Hmmm, may have to sample some reeet about naw…

  22. winderNo Gravatar says:

    dennis – just joined the yahoo league, we gonna do the espn one too?

    most of my ff teams suck pretty bad but you never know, someday I just might win one of these things.

  23. winderNo Gravatar says:

    dennis – I figure vick is off the table, but what about Alex?

  24. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    winder talk to Rob, rumor has it he kicked Dennis’s ass twice last year in ff.

  25. winderNo Gravatar says:

    PF- Lol. Rob does pretty good, he just has to show up for the draft.

    dennis – just checked the espn league and got the info, thanks.

  26. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Winder, Everyone one is available. I called ESPN today to see if I could eliminate certain players from the draft pool, but they couldn’t accommodate that move. It just causes a bigger headache for trying to stick to my morals. Screw my morals. Pick whomever you wish.

  27. robNo Gravatar says:

    PHILFAN
    come online when the raiders preseason game is on ! you can find links to watch the preseason game live online ! once you do it you can also watch during the regular season too ! it’s better than just listening

  28. robNo Gravatar says:

    DEL
    set up a commissioners choice team and give it the first pick in the draft ! choose your boi #1 and pass every round after !
    ;D

  29. robNo Gravatar says:

    WINDER
    last year i started out 0-5 in both leagues (very niner-like) but came on at the end ! i even did ok after my new laptop shitthe bed and i couldn’t keep up with it !

  30. robNo Gravatar says:

    if 9er football gets you down , try your local minor league baseball team ! i just got back from the charlotte stonecrabs (local tampa rays affiliated team !!!) stadium ! they’re fighting for first place here !
    http://charlotte.stonecrabs.milb.com/index.jsp?sid=t2730
    got two tickets (8$ea.), parking (3$) pass and 1.00 off coupon all for free for the double header saturday
    🙂

  31. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    hey, Rob. Did ya see my new message in our yahoo! league? Whatcha think of my picture?

  32. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    That sounds great, Rob. You’ll be back in time for the 49er game won’t ya? You wouldn’t wanna miss Chilo getting beat like a rag doll again.

  33. robNo Gravatar says:

    holy crap del ! i might have to catch the replay of the niners on nfl network !

  34. robNo Gravatar says:

    btw , like my new pic ?

  35. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I think I’m gonna puke.

  36. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Barrows in his chat today pretty much said that if Alex Boone had been a high draft pick of the current GM, he’d be starting. He’s looked that good. Unfortunately, the 49ers are still playing organizational favorites in their player evaluations. So instead we get Davis at RT and smoke up our ass about Chilo ‘working hard, blah, blah, blah at RG.

  37. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Rob, yep gonna watch the live stream. Not sure about the sound so I got the Audio Pass from NFL.com too. Thanks

  38. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Speaking of minor league ball- used to go to the Sacramento River Cats AAA (Oakland As) for cheap and it was good fun. Back when
     
    But what the hell is a ‘river cat’?

  39. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah Barrows is tellin the truth these days. Do you really think the coaching staff will risk one of our QBs to placate the GM? Jezuus I hope not. Be interesting to see how Harbaugh handles TB if he concludes CR is sub-standard

  40. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    About 9 hours to go!

  41. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    With our quarterback play, I’d start drinking now if I were you.

  42. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I saw a pill bug conglobate. Immediately it reminded be of Kentwan Balmer rushing the passer.

  43. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I can’t drink yet, I have a client to see later this morning. But, I think I passed a kidney stone yesterday while working a full day, drinking does sound good.

  44. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    It’s gameday and nary a one “Raiders suck!”
    You guys disappoint me more than the 49ers quarterback.

  45. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Jesus H. Christ. Am I the only Outsider that’s gonna watch this game? Where’s the passion? Where’s the faith? Where’s the fervor? Where’s the thirst? Where’s the beer? Where’s the remote?

  46. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m back! You guys can be Beethoven. I’ve got beer. I’ve got whiskey. I’ve got spaghetti. Go 49ers!
    .
    Maybe I should open some wine to make sure I get hammered? Grumpy, any suggestions? I do have to mow the lawn in the morning.

  47. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Popcorn is good times like these because if you throw up you haven’t wasted the expensive lobster or fillet Mignon. Although, I do have 2 lbs of Italian sausage in the spaghetti sauce. Is this called planning ahead? BTW, I hate popcorn, but it is cheap to throw up!

  48. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Oh boy, the Giants are on at 4. As soon as they give up one run the game is over. Fire Sabean. Any 80 year old short stops available. But not unless they hit below 250. They can’t field, they can’t hit, but they make up for it by spending time on the DL. Fire Sabean. Keep Bochy.

  49. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Berger. I have two words for you: José Guillén.

  50. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    All reeet, here we go. Bright and early, ready for the game. Sounds like Bergs and Del are fired up. I hope the live stream works! Yep looks like it’s a go. Gonna get the audio over at NFL.com. Booze will have to wait for a bit but still got some of the good stuff available.

  51. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Giants that bad? What’s score. Bochy, good manager.

  52. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Nice to see the Niners sustaining drives, running sweeps, slants and completing passes. Ok now score.

  53. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    This is what I wanted to see. Loved it. Don’t care it was the Raiders, I’ve heard many experts say they will compete for their division this year, I don’t agree. I just wanted to see improvement, win or lose, we showed that. On to next week, I want to see improvement, win or lose. Don’t get me wrong, I want to win, I just give it the priority of regular season.

  54. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I can’t believe my last spell check said no errors. I’ve been putting more than the lime in the coconut.

  55. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Not bad for a preseason game. Alex had his one inexplicable horrendously ugly interception. No surprise. Moved the ball, but only racked up 3 in a half. Again, no surprise.

    Our backup Rbs look good. Dixon obviously got his ass chewed about last week’s Dancing with the Scrubs, and it showed. Much more decisive tonight. Hunter has speed. Even Omon can play a little and might catch on somewhere though maybe not here.

    O-line was better but still a work in progress. Chilo looks good run blocking but he has to step it up in protection. Davis needs to stop the dumbass mistakes. Kilgore got noticed for good things. He and Boone give me hope that we finally have some good depth.

    Brock played it safe but didn’t get burned deep, and neither did Culliver. the less you hear about CBs, the better. The pass rush obviously is better in terms of personnel, and when Fangio starts dialing up blitzes, should be better still. Who the hell misses Manny? Not me.

    All in all not a bad night. We don’t have to listen to Raider Spicoli horseshit on the Insider this year, and I didn’t even have to crack open the second bottle of Cuervo, except maybe later in celebration. Booze is always better in celebration than consolation. Go team.

  56. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The only thing stopping us tonight was the play calling. IMO, that was intentional. I sure hope so. We’ll have many talks about this when the regular season starts.

  57. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The biggest thing I have noticed, Franklin will not be missed. His grass eating techniques while Philly runners were going up the middle for over 50 yards are his biggest moments for me. He was noting but Gertrude the cow. Boy, this grass tastes good! Good riddance.
    .
    He made a wise decision to leave, he sucked here. He will do well in NO, in fact, probably very well. Their defense can use what he does well, our system sees him as a role player at best. My opinion is, he is useless in our current system. But we’ll talk about this later to see if I am actually correct. I’m not 100% sure at this point, but I’ll know soon. Just not in pre-season. We know he likes to eat grass because his face was directly in it for so many plays last year. I am one happy fan to see him gone.

  58. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Possibly the best blues song ever:

    http://youtu.be/sYl_hCLMQ4A

  59. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    So, Alex has a good showing and the blog goes dead? Is this what I am to surmise?

  60. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    If the Niners do great this year and Alex plays well, the blogs might go out of business.
     
    I doubt we’ll see three straight running plays from the nine yard line in the regular season. Harbaugh is just not going to show his cards in the preseason games. Best sustained rhythm by the offense in a long time. Edwards looks real good at WR. Fun game to watch.

  61. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Abrayo hurt his MCL last night and is out for a month or so. Lots of angst about not re-signing him and how weak our D-line would be, but it’s not evident so far. We’ll see when regular season begins.

  62. robNo Gravatar says:

    i was going to comment on this game but smith looked a little better so i’ll wait until next time to post !

  63. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Just watched the game as I recorded it and not being able to watch it as I was out with family.
    This game shows that the offense has potential and the Saints game was an anomaly.
    I think most of us are trmpering the enthuiasm because this is the preseason and fear that Dennis will smack us around.
    Hope Andy Lee is OK.
    Special teams needs to be tightened up as they are having lapses in coverga enad blocking.

  64. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Dobbs had another really good game. He might just make the team. In fact, the entire D-line looked good again.

  65. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Well, Bullit, we certainly don’t see much tempering of our disenchantments!

  66. winderNo Gravatar says:

    We just might have had a really good draft this year. Love the small RB’s and the way our running game looks. Opposing D’s will have to take this into account. Also, it looked like a totally different OL out there. Even Alex did ok. There I said it.

  67. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Smith did look good, but his job was made easier by the ground game. The O-line improvement was the best thing we could have seen, and that is what happened.

  68. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    “S**** did look good?” He was 8 of 13 with a horrible and inexcusable pick that netted him a QBR of 61.7, and you think he looked “good?” Where have your standards gone, Berger? If you thought that was a “good” performance my, friend. Cooperstown better make room for Jose Gui-Tejada in their next wing. Unbelievable.

  69. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    This team has, and has had, a quarterback problem of utter proportions for some time now. And until you come to accept that realization, you’ll continue to live in denial. And that ain’t no river in Egypt as people are wont to say…

  70. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    They FlyingV of the Outsider has made his daily grunt.

  71. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del- He had an interception, true. It was a bad read and a bad throw, true. But outside of that play every ball he threw should have been caught except the one he intentionally threw out of bounds. Your hatred is blinding you from reality.

  72. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Alex made a few mistakes, but overall it was a damned good night. If he played like this every week, no one would be as negative towards him as they are. And that’s the bitch of it – he hasn’t been able to do it consistently. It’s a good game, then a horrible one, then three of four blah ones.
     
    That is going to be his gold standard this year: consistency. If Harbaugh can coax it out of him, he can turn the corner and be a decent NFL QB. But if he regresses to prior form when things go wrong, he’ll be a journeyman backup for the rest of his career.

  73. robNo Gravatar says:

    i missed most of the game , does anybody know when nfln will replay it ?

  74. robNo Gravatar says:

    for me the best part is the RB’s (from gore to hunter to omon) looked good again ! the QB’s looked good and the 0-line was better (thx nofear)!
    i’m really happy that parys haralson , t. brown and ricky jean francois did well ! if all three of them step up we’ll be much better off !
    aldon smith might be a rare passrush guy who comes in and can make an impact right away ! that would be huge !
    i’m looking forward to see which players can build on this week’s good showing !

  75. robNo Gravatar says:

    oops just found out !
    nfl network is showing the game tonight at 11 pm est !

    our next game is thursday at 8 vs. baltimore !

  76. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Rob

    Who’s schedule are you looking at?
    Niners don’t play Baltimore until Nov
    Here are their final pre=season games
    Week 4 Sat. 8/27/2011 vs. Houston Texans 5:00 PM PT
    Week 5 Thu. 9/1/2011 @ San Diego Chargers 7:00 PM PT
    Remember most of the posters are on West Coast (like the offense)
    Most of times on this site will be Pacific Daylight Time
    Go Niners!

  77. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2018 Schedule
9-9: @ Vikings, 10:00 am Sun.
9-16: vs. Lions, 1:25 pm, Sun.
9-23: @ Chiefs, 10:00 am, Sun.
9-30: @ Chargers, 1:25 pm, Sun.
10-7: vs. Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
10-15: @ Packers, 5:15 pm, Mon.
10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2017 Prognostications
NJ49er: 6-10
Skeebers: 6-10
Bullit: 5-11
Mr Fletch: 5-11
RTFirefly: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
Winder: 4-12

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