They Call Me Al

The second edition of Camp Alex begins today, featuring Coach Alex instructing Himself Alex and the Supporting Cast Alex as to the fundamentals of Jim “I ♥ Alex” Harbaugh’s playbook. Alextrifying moments ahead this week, 49er fans.

There have been rumors circulating that this will be the week Alex drops his “ex” and goes with just plain “Al”. Al Smith. It’s cozier and more emphatic. Alex is just too front row pupilish. Guys named Al sit in the back row and throw spit wads.

It could have been worse, of course. Smith could have been named Alvin. Now there is a career killer name, for sure. Actually, that’s a life killer name.

Since this week is basically just a smattering of guys practicing football, the only items of interest will be who joins the smattering and who doesn’t. And whether the beat guys get to watch the practices or not. IOW, not much meat on this bone.

However, at the end of the week there is a real likelihood that the owners and players will announce an agreement in principal on a new CBA. It should take about two weeks or so for the lawyers to inflate this principal into a gargantuan unintelligible legal gibberishosity which can be signed, with everyone shrugging and going “whatever.” Then, ladies and gentlemen, the flood gates will open. Biiiiiiiigggg time.

In one breathtaking week or two, we will find out the fates of Manny Lawson, Dashon Goldson, Ray McDonald, David Baas, and maybe even Nate Clements, as well as the other 800 or so free agents in the league. We’ll get the first solid answers to all our offseason concerns, such as who plays the Nose and which CB and QB are we going to sign as FAs? The defense will go from vague to settled. The backup QB the fans will scream for after every Al incomplete pass will be known.

And, naturally, the coaches will finally get to be called smart or stupid. All offseason, people have tiptoed around complaining about Just Al, without directly calling Harbaugh an idiot for recruiting him. A ticklish dance. It is similar to the dance that Mike Singletary supporters performed while criticizing Jimmy Raye. We know how that dance turned out. Exit stage right for the both of them.

Bill Parcells recently said that if the 49ers get their offense going, they could be sleepers this year. Fortunately, nobody paid much attention. Being a sleeper team is almost as bad a jinx as being the favorite. The Niners have laid eggs in both baskets in recent years. Some cynics might mutter the team has squatted in every nest in the hen house the past eight years, so what’s the difference what they’re called, except an egg laying nightmare.

In the mean time, even in the best case scenario, we’ve got three more weeks of dead air. That’s a lot of music links and coconut stories.

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73 comments on “They Call Me Al
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I want to be excited about the new CBA and our upcoming season but my emotions have been attenuated by bad performances all around. Bad performances by the players, the owners and our team.

  2. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    The important thing is to get some wins early and build some confidence and hope. Come out with a pratfall and another 0-5 start, and fans at the ‘Stick will be calling him Alice Smallhands all over again. OTOH, get off to a good start and make the playoffs, and Harbaugh becomes The Second Coming (No, not *that* one; Walsh, silly…). Because many of us think it will take a miracle to turn around this train wreck in one year. Hope you don’t mind pressure, Jimbo.

  3. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Al, yes the name seems to exude toughness, like “Big Al Capone.”
    Will it help his performance? I dunno.

  4. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, it worked for Alvin Lee . . .

  5. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    In 2005 when the 49ers were evaluating QBs it was common knowledge that the #1 pick in the draft was going to Matt Leinart
    the Heisman trophy winning QB and not Alex Smith. Leinart elected to return to USC for his senior year much like Andrew Luck this year and the 49ers had to settle for Alex Smith.

    Leinart will be a UFA and I think he has abilities and got caught in a politcal situation in Arizona
    and didn’t handle it too well.
    It is hard to win the job from a QB as popular as Kurt Warner and
    in the heat of competition he forced his temates to choose and they took Warner so Leinart was castoff. If he learned his lesson and is willing to put required time and effort into winning a job why not take a flyer on him?

    The two knocks on him is he’s lazy and doesn’t play well with others. Solve those two social issues and have him step into throws and stop throwing from his back foot and you might have something,

    It’ll cost you some cash to see what he has and it keeps him away from Seattle and Pete Carroll which could pose a problem if he suddenly blossoms when reunited with his old coach.
    The worst that can happen is you do your best and determine he is a bust and cut him. It’s worth a try.

  6. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The National Football Post reported last week that Leinart is headed to Seattle as Pete thinks he can turn him around.
    I think Leinart can be better than the guy who followed him Mark Sanchez.

  7. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Why would the Niners go after a guy like Matt Leinart? That would be totally contrary to their usual way of doing business. Despite what Harbaugh & Co. say, they’re not determined to but the best guys out there at QB and “toss out the ball and see who plays best.” Bull-Fing-Shit. There’s no competition at QB, nor do they want any. They’re handing the keys to A*** S*** once again. Let’s see, who’ll be our four QBs in camp…
    A*** S****
    David Carr
    An injured Colin Kaepernick
    Abe Froman
    I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

  8. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Because hot-tub Matt sucks, Dennis. Most of the options not named Kolb or Palmer suck as well. They still may try to bring in someone like Flynn. Who knows?

  9. winderNo Gravatar says:

    bullit – Not sure about the reason’s AZ cut him loose, but he was the best QB they had on the roster at the time.
    I like CK’s upside and I do think he’s our QB of the future. That said I would still bring UQB some legitimate competition when we finally get going.

  10. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    They cut him because he was a head case. He thought his shit didn’t stink. But the players pretty much unanimously hated him. Whizzenhurtz didn’t help matters by appointing him as the QB before camp, he failed miserably, and Warner sealed the deal. After that he divided the locker room. And the WRs hated him for constantly laying them out for brutal hits. The team was ready to mutiny.
    .
    Shit, all this AZ talk remind me of GeoMak.

  11. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks Chuck, Hopefully, Geo is on a Viking forum spewing his Sing knowledge to all those unniformed Vike fans, and since the Bears are in that division he’s probably in hog heaven.

  12. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Leinart got shitcanned because he had more interest in hanging out with groupies in hot tubs than hanging out in film rooms or extra practice with his receivers. All hat, no cattle, like they say in TX… he just wouldn’t put the work in.

  13. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I think Lienert has a weak arm.

  14. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    His heart is more the issue.

  15. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’d much prefer to see this Defense properly aligned, beginning with the UDFA phase. Get some young interior DLmen.
     
    Aldon is a move toward the future and I wouldn’t put too much heat on him this Season. Get him in on 3rd down, pin his ears back and learn what needs to be learned to hit the QB. Coverage can wait until next year.
     
    Get another few pieces for the Secondary from the FA market and, possibly snag a vet QB just in case.
     
    Al has yet another fresh start opportunity, hopefully with a QB friendly Harbaugh to straighten out his timid ways and get him to grow a pair in the pocket.

  16. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Chuck I’ve tried several times to add a cooment on your site, even after opening the Google Mail account but I’ve had no luck getting the comments to post, just get looped back and forth to the eBlogger site for mail ID/PW.
     
    Wanted to get after Spit on few topics but no can do.

  17. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    How about T.O. having ACL Surgery too? Think he might pack it in now?

  18. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Nobody ever questioned TO’s work ethic and heart. It is possible he is even a HOFer. Having said that, his mind has always been catawampus and his hands seem to be made of brick sometimes. I think he might rehab and be ready for a team that needs a WR for a play-off push sometime in late Nov or Dec.

  19. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Speaking of packing it in, it looks like Mr. Zero has left the premises, too. He probably followed GeoMak to Minnesota.

  20. winderNo Gravatar says:

    As good a player as T.O. was I hope he doesn’t go into the HOF as a Niner. The bullshit he put the team through was just horrible. He did all that for show, and as far as I’m concerned he thought he was bigger than the team.

  21. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Oh yeah, “F” him and the horse he rode in on.

  22. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Blankface recently joined this board and I forgot to welcome him
    We don’t see eye to eye almost always. You guys can read his crap on SFGate yourselves but he just posted this today and I’m in a sharing mood.

    “I don’t agree with much of what V says – but he is actually “the man”…and it ain’t so bahhhhhhhhahhhhhhd when he calls people like me a delusional sheep. He is more persistent than a 7 year itch that scratches 7 days a week, twice on sundays, and during lunch on Saturdays. He is relentless with his agenda and the intricate truth of his ramblings are surrounded by the fog of stale comedic humor or just plain dooodooo to some.”

    Either he’s V or V’s lackey lapdog. I suspect Sonomstategrad has V-like tendencies and often
    uses Visms when he posts. He claims to have been a QB. Can anyone shed some light on that?

  23. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    winder- Football payers don’t go in under a team uniform. That would be baseball. NFL HOFers just go in as football players with no team affiliation except as on their playing history bio.

  24. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Winder TO only became a prick after spiking the ball on the Dallas star.
    You can’t take away the fact he was a great receiver.
    If Dwight Clark’s jersey can be retired with 48 career TD catches than TO need to go into the HOF
    with 81 TD’s as a Niner. If you combine DC’s and John Taylor’s
    TD grabs they would have 91 total.
    Reality check is we have been searching for a #1 WR since TO left. Coincidentally we also have been losing.

  25. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bigger question: will A*** S**** ever make the HOF? Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha.

  26. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, Sonoma doesn’t have any V-like tendencies. He just speaks the goddamn truth about one A***ander D****as S****.[insert Col. Nathan R. Jessop clip here]

  27. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    DMD i disagree but then you display those same tendencies so maybe I’m preaching to his choir?.

  28. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    This tweet from Barrows: Colin Kaepernick also walked in … with a bag of ice on his left knee cap.
     
    But he’s NOT injured, however.
    Mickey Mouse.

  29. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    NJ, when you try to sign in, make sure the “keep me signed in” check box is unchecked. That should allow you to post.
    .
    It’s some kind of bug that Blogspot refuses to fix.

  30. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, just what the hell is going on up there in Reno? You guys don’t want to admit it, but it sure looks like we got ourselves some damaged goods.

  31. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del- It is a conspiracy. They did it just to piss you off and provide the rest of us with the ensuing entertainment.

  32. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hall of F*ckwads? Yes, Dennis, he’s in . . .

  33. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, Bullitt, we are all Spartacus.

    Jesus, if I never had to read the pathetic ramblings of Vidiot ever again I’d be almost a happy man, but seriously, when people start playing Where’s Waldo with the Trolls, it’s time to go have a beer and do something constructive. Like have a second beer, maybe. 🙂

    V is not worth the bandwidth some folks give him.

  34. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Amen, Grump.

  35. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    So Crabtree is on the practice field but he isn’t running routes like the other WRs. Since there’s little or no chance for the QB leaving, Crabtree must go. He wants no part of what’s going to be under center this year. I think I may have to come up with a different nomenclature when calling the 49ers Mickey Mouse. That’s a disservice to all the little rodents of the world…

  36. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    I see the Insider is just land of the trolls these days.
    .
    V is still whining about Siefert and Montana. Lah dee dah.

  37. winderNo Gravatar says:

    bullit – I am not taking anything away from T.O., for the first 2-3 years I really liked the guy, but he changed. He has always been a great wr, and at times one of the best.

    Berger – You are right, I just don’t want him to be associated with the Niners, like having a T.O. night or something, or God forbid retiring his “f” up jersey.

  38. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    The sad thing is, T.O. was a decent, humble kid when he first arrived in town in 1997. Very polite to teammates and the media, and worked his ass off to become an elite WR. Somewhere along the way, his ego outgrew even his considerable talent, he picked up an entourage, and turned into the cancerous train wreck of recent years.

  39. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    If anybody says Kaepernick has a long release just figure they don’t have any idea of what they are saying. It might look a little different but there is nothing wrong with it. If anything it is a fairly quick release. Yeah, there are quicker releases, but his is quick.

  40. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Congratulations Del for being announced on CSBA for winning a trivia event. Good luck in the final!

  41. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Did you guys like my aphorism from 9:04 last night?

  42. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    They must have, since nobody commented on it. The dumber the statement, the more people want to comment on it. That’s why my posts have been getting more comments this offseason. Doh = !?(2).

  43. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, I could never figure out how a guy like TO goes from quiet kid to psychotic narcissistic locker room cancer.
    .
    I never read his book, but he apparently had a horrible upbringing. Not that it’s an excuse, but it makes you wonder. Without the bullshit he brought upon himslef, he very easily could have been considered on of the best ever WRs. His size and speed are off the charts. His work ethic and commitment to the game is without question. Jerry Rice mentored him. The dropped passes were a little too many, but his attitude and look-at-me persona shotgunned a lot of his value as a teammate. He regularly threw his QBs, HCs, OCs, and teammates under the bus at every turn.

    He’ll make it into the HOF, but not as easliy as he should have.

  44. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Or THE best ever.

  45. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Looks like Heitmann is done for the year. Just underwent surgery to repair a ruptured disk in neck. Better get Baas signed or we is in trouble.

  46. winderNo Gravatar says:

    That sounds like a career ender to me. Sorry to hear, he was a good Niner. I wish him all the best and a quick recovery.

  47. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Shit. What’s Newberry up to?

  48. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Too bad about Heitmann.
    Think it’s a coincidence that Chase Beeler undrafted and unsigned FA Center
    from Stanford was working out today with all the Niners?
    He was showing the team Harbaugh’s WCO.

  49. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    TO a perfect candidate for serious psychotherapy with his childhood and relationship issues. But he doesn’t want to change so forget it.
     
    Heitmann’s done? This is getting more interesting by the day- how will these college players translate to the big bad NFL for coach?
     
    (pulls sombrero over eyes and settles back under coconut tree)

  50. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Chase Beeler would be a great FA signing. All-American anchored that Stanford line that opened up gaping holes for Toby Gerhart in ’08 and ’09. He excelled at both pass pro and run/pulling for the Cardinal. I’m surprised he wasn’t drafted. Not a huge guy, 6-3 285. Reminds me of the old Walsh/Bobb McKittrick lineman. Sign ’em up!
     
    I know Baas is high on their list to bring back right after you know who, but you can’t rely on Baas remaining healthy. I think Berger said it best about how Baas can get a concussion getting outta bed. Could be some big trouble at that spot this year. Not to worry. When A*** fumbles 3 times in the opener, all you guys can blame it on the center.

  51. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    I already do, no problem. Good to hear there are candidates out there that may be able to help us fill gaps on offense and defense. Is it just me or did it seem that during the previous regimes there just wasn’t enough talent to be had anywhere? And what we got was marginal usually?

  52. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’d be happy with Beeler,Kirkpatrick or Barnes.
     
    I can’t recall who got Drafted and who didn’t now, since all this LOCKOUT SH!T has wilted my interest.

  53. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t want to hem and haw here, I’ll leave that to the Commish and DeMoron.

  54. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Looks like today or tomorrow we’ll find out if there’s a new CBA or the season starts getting lost.

  55. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- Here is how I see it. The two sides got real close without the lawyers. They are now putting lawyers in the room to finalize some things. The lawyers are seeing their paydays coming to a close. The lawyers are trying to nix things. Period, end of story.
    .
    Now is this true? I don’t know, we’ll find out soon. But this is how I see lawyers, so this is how I see it as of now.

  56. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Especially the lawyers for the players. They don’t give a crap about a football season, just the millions they could make in the anti-trust suit.

  57. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Berger. I got my “prize” from CSN. A Niner T-shirt, black beanie cap, water bottle, SF Giants foam hand, some plastic cups and a couple of Niners and Giants schedules.
     
    Beats a poke in the eye, I guess. Which reminds me. I wish A*** S**** was here. I have a special fork with his name on it.

  58. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Lynch says that Staley says that Heitmann got his neck injury in the nutcracker drill.

  59. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Crabtree says he’s feeling good this morning, is watching his centric videos and eating some oatmeal.

  60. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    That’s Berger’s favorite drill. If Heitmann got injured during the nutcracker, it can mean only one thing — he’s a pussy.

  61. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, please tell me you’re not following @KingCrab15 on Twitter? I thought I needed to get a life…

  62. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Only for awhile, Delmar. I wanted to see what came out of his own mouth, instead of hearing teammates explain his actions. So far, it’s just oatmeal going in. Stay tuned.

  63. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Alex is running the nutcracker?

  64. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    It happened last year, Chuck. Right before Heitmann broke his leg. Which may have saved his butt, since he was poo-pooing the neck injury.

  65. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Heitmann should’ve had his neck checked out last year and had it fixed.
    Lynch is stirring up the posters on SF Gate as it is good for business and his survival.

    There are a ton of guys coming out of the woodwork capping on the drill. Hey I’m defending it as it’s part of football. The same fools criticizing Crabtree for taking it easy because of his foot are wondering why they have such drills in practice when they
    wear full pads.

  66. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Heitman was on his way out soon anyway. He’s been a good player for us but age makes us all brittle. If it had not been the Nutcracker, it likely would have happened during game contact. Its a brutal game.

  67. winderNo Gravatar says:

    dennis – That’s some pretty cool stuff. It’s good to be a winner.

    Yeah, Singletary is getting ripped at the insider. I always thought he was a great player, but as a coach he just didn’t have it in him.

  68. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The delay in getting his neck diagnosed and getting the surgery is totally on Heitmann. He was hoping to come back from his broken leg and ignored his neck problem until he couldn’t perform in practice. Even if he the surgery in January the rehab is six months and he’d be ready for this season.
    Choosing to wait was not the wiseset choice but on the SF Gate blog they’re blamimg Singletary because Lynch said so.

  69. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Hot off the Twit wire from KingCrab:
    “Just finish working out… long day…”

  70. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The Nutcracker is one of the things I liked about Singletary. I have a bad neck. Could be from the Nutcracker, could be from crashing too many dirt bikes and quads? Could be from being over 50? Don’t know, but between the Nutcracker, Bull in the Ring and the Oklahoma drill I went through a lot of helmets. Maybe even one neck.

  71. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs you’re killing me with the updates on KingCrab15. This is a testimony to how bored we are and how slow the NFL news is. Keep up the, uh, good work.

  72. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Bergs are you sure you didn’t aggravate that neck tossing back those Sierra Nevadas?

  73. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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