It’s stock soaring time in the 2011 pre-draft wee hours. Or board rising, as the insiders say. This part baffles me. How does stock soar and guys rise up the boards when nobody has played football since last December or January? I could understand some board wrinkling or fine tuning, but SOARING? Ye gads.
I’ve got a hunch it’s because the guys who do mock drafts get some info from people who actually draft guys and instead of making shit up and acknowledging their earlier mocks were mockable, they pretend to “recognize” somebody as “rising up the boards” — thereby casting the illusion that they discerned this fellow’s previously hidden talent all by themselves. It’s just a snide thought.
This news then sweeps through the blogospheres of America and before you know it tons of bloggers have their “sleeper” picks to offer their fellow blognosticators. That’s probably another snide thought.
Guys who are falling down draft boards, or losing stock, are easier to understand. The drug tests are in, the criminal records have been located, the battered girl friends tracked down in a dark alley for “off the record” confessions. Stuff like that. Character issues. Of course, anybody who loves to play football has to have a healthy streak of mean in them, so character issues are a bit relative. Gosh, that might be yet another snide thought.
Another reason stock falls as the draft nears is GM subterfuge. Leaking negative vibes about a prospect in order to keep him on the board long enough for the team that dissed him to draft him. Conversely, GMs can leak info to witless sports writers that a certain team will defintitely draft so-and-so at such-and-such a draft spot just for the purpose of deluding other teams about the leaking team’s true intentions.
This occurred last year at this time, when the Bay Area’s most witless scribe, Tim Kawakami of the Mercury News, blatantly assured one and all, on more than one occasion, that the 49ers would draft Jimmy Clausen with the 13th pick in the draft. This caused hysterical rage in the blogosphere. Clausen then fell all the way to the second round, where he was drafted by the Carolina Panthers, and the Niners traded up from 13 to 11 in order to assure themselves of drafting OT Anthony Davis. Kawakami proclaimed he had “impeccable sources” for his info. He did not issue an “I’m FOS, never mind” post-draft confession. Apparently, “impeccable” has a different meaning to Kawakami than it does to Merriam-Webster. See, “Flawless” NOT.
Was that a snide thought? Or just a cheap shot. Hmmmm.
Speaking of witlessness, here’s Thursday’s eyebrow raising effort from an NFL player regarding the labor situation, straight from PFT:
Rashad Mendenhall’s response to [Adrian] Peterson’s [slavery] comments: “@AdrianPeterson is correct in his anology of this game. It is a lot deeper than most people understand. Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other.”
NFL players are not exactly setting the world on fire with sagacious commentary regarding the labor impasse. Downright STOOPID is the message shining through. If these million dollar babies have lathered themselves up to such a point of imbecilic angst, it’s no wonder the CBA talks have imploded. Or society in general, one might be tempted to postulate. In a snide moment.
This might not be a good day to visit the inlaws, I’m thinking. When you’ve got the “snides”, it’s best to stay home. In your room. All day. With the door shut. And the windows closed. Hang an “Out to Lunch” sign on your door. Do not go near Twitter or Facebook. A good day for anonymous blogging, though. Oh, yeah. [snerk, snerk, snerk]