They’re selling postcards of the hanging
They’re painting the passports brown
The beauty parlor is filled with sailors
The circus is in town
— Bob Dylan
I’m sure Mr. Dylan had weightier issues on his mind than the San Francisco 49ers when he penned these opening lyrics, but it’s a song for all occasions of mindlessness.
Tuesday, I wrote that Alex Smith would have a defining moment this Sunday. Wednesday, I wrote that he would probably start and Troy Smith would be warming up in relief. Wednesday afternoon, the 49er “rat” revealed through Jason LaCanfora that Troy would be the starter. Mike Singletary has yet to make an official announcement.
Hahaha. I am an idiot. Our own Franchise had this rotation properly pegged last week and I had it completely backwards. The problem is in the logic. There is none. Not in Singletary’s world. No, Mike’s belfry is inhabited by wicked little bats.
If the team wins Sunday, they’ll have to do it on their own. The head coach has left the building. This mad scientist tinkering before the 17th and pivotal game of the 2010 season is probably raising eyebrows in St. Louis (or laughter), but out here in the Niners’ locker room, the line is quietly forming for surreptitious rabies shots just in case Big Mike decides to bite anyone during the game.
I am no longer depressed, however. It’s carnival time. Reality will have to wait a bit. It’s time for the show. Troy Smith will be on the highwire, Alex will be shot from a cannon, Vernon Davis will be in the tiger’s cage, Michael Crabtree will be juggling with knives, Takeo Spikes will be telling fortunes, Barry Sims will be in the tattooed man booth, and Patrick Willis will be lifting an elephant with one arm. It’s okay to point and stare, folks. The San Francisco Circus is opening its tents for one last extravaganza.
What a team. The early ’70s Oakland A’s were famous for fighting with each other, but banding together on game day because they all hated the owner, Charles Finley. It’s not rational, but it worked. This 49ers team will have to accomplish something very similar if their season is to continue.
This is good, actually. I have more confidence in the players now than the coaches. It’s not a firm confidence by any means (hint: 1% is stretching it), since this team has never shown much, or any, spunk. But better to trust them at this point than a coach who is chasing little wicked demons in his belfry. It is tempting to reconstruct history here and ask myself the question: Was Singletary ever sane? You could view his HOF linebacker career as an amazing feat by a wacko. His personal life as an amazing self-hypnosis cover-up. And his coaching career is speaking ever more loudly the scary words “I’m Delusional with a D. Come follow me.”
Sorry, Mike. This trip is all yours now. Good luck. Keep an eye out for the straight jacket fellows. They’re out there. And, uh, Merry Christmas. Don’t look under the tree. They’re there, too.