Blog Archives

Cerebral Infarction Surgery

It’s the annual NFL Combine week, which means everybody   most people   many folks   quite a few fans   several guys   a few boys   NJ49er and Bullit will be glued to their TV screens this week. Happy tape measures and stop watches,

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Disarray Juggernaut

The Santa Clara 49ers. Bwaaaaahaaaahaaa!! Wow. What a mess these clowns have become. Is this a football franchise or a sensitivity session for late bloomers discovering their “blackness,” complete with throw back ’70’s afros to help sell the sincerity? Maybe

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Coming Attractions

Two more weeks and this long, dreary offseason will end. Hallelujah! Or, as they say in the cartoon world, “Hot d-d-diggedy d-d-dog!” Some of you might not be feeling elated about the coming season. Condolences. It’s true the 49ers are

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Blazing Saddles

This coming Thursday, the 49ers will be required by league rules to open up a practice for media scrutiny. It’s not known whether the new coaching staff is also required to make themselves available to the media. They have been

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Good Cop, Bad Cop

The 2015 Draft is mercifully concluded and we can forget about all these fellows who have been cluttering up the airways and computer monitors these past few months with their upsides, potential, downsides, measureables, and all sorts of what-not data.

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The Nobody Era

It’s unclear at the moment who’s going to be the 49ers’ OC this coming year. Or the DC. Or even who’s responsible for choosing these two fellows. As for who would LIKE to fill these positions, the answer seems clear:

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And On The Tenth Day

Day 10 of the great 49er 10 day search for a new Head Coach. And a new OC. And a new DC. Heck, let’s just dismantle everything and start over with a lot of question marks. After all, rebuilding is

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Summer Wind

OTAs and minicamp have ended. The players now have five weeks or so of dangerous freedom before the start of Training Camp. Plenty of time to do something insane, like hoisting a huge party, shooting assault rifles from your roof

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Take A Number

The 49er rookies will tee off their NFL careers this weekend with a mandatory minicamp. Good luck, plebes. You’ll need it. Some of these kids will become household names in the coming years, maybe even some pro bowlers in the

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Dumpster Diving

The 49ers have been shopping for WRs and CBs the past few days without much success. Apparently, WRs aren’t particularly enchanted about being the 3rd WR on a team that hardly ever uses more than two. This might put a

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Rolling the Dice

Both the Patriots and the 49ers have been to three straight Conference Championship games. They’ve each lost twice and won once. They’ve both lost their one Super Bowl appearance. That’s the franchise company the 49ers find themselves in. The big

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New World Order

It’s Super Bowl week. I hated it last year, when it was all about the 49ers, so there’s no way in hell it will be enjoyable this year when it focuses on the Douchebags of the Northwest. If there’s another

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Southern Discomfort

The 49ers made their first player cuts from 90 down to 75 fairly painlessly. A few camp fodder lads were released, Parys Haralson was traded to the Saints, and about ten guys were pushed off the roster and stashed onto

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All Wanking Spanners to the Plow

We’re almost there. Eight days until Training Camp starts and the 2013 season opens for business. If memory serves, the rookies report in first, followed a couple days later by the veterans. The most anticipated scene of the first day

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Slip Sliding Away

Contrary to perception and the blatherings of certified dipwads like Geraldo Rivera, who should have been sealed up in the bogus treasure cave of Al Capone rather than shamelessly continuing a charlatan journalism career, the NFL is 50% less likely

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They’re Tearing Down Tim Riley’s Bar

The 49ers’ two year reign as NFC West champs will face its sternest challenge this coming season, with many pundits already picking Seattle to unseat our boys at the top of the division in 2013. That might warm Seattle hearts,

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And The Winner Is …

Recently, we’ve seen the Top 20 coaches of all time, the Top 100 players list, and the franchise Mt. Rushmore series dragged out over many weeks by Pro Football Talk. Here at the Outsider, we have two dogs circling a

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Unseen Forces

The OTAs came and went last week, causing nary a ripple in the news stream of our lives. The 49ers have become a covert operation. We’re going to need a Deep Throat if we ever expect to get any intel

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The Straits of Glibaalke

The 2013 NFL schedule will be released tonight and we can finally put 2012 to rest and start figuring out what the hell will happen in the new season. Jim Harbaugh will grab the schedule, caress it lovingly, and immediately

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Lip O Suck Shun

Easter has come and gone, and those of you who attempt to give devout behavior at least a smidgeon of your attention can now ease back into your wicked and sinful ways. Those of you who are devoutless devotees can

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The Third Year

For those of us with fertile imaginations or ravenous little children, Peter Cottontail will be hop, hop, hopping into view this weekend, and I’m sure we all breathlessly await his arrival. In keeping with the Tradition perversion fetish of the

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1998 Redux

What a great weekend of football. Mostly. Two down to the wire thrillers, and two blow outs — one enjoyable, one boring. Which reminds me, the AFC truly sucks. How about getting some decent teams over there? Peyton Manning is

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2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12