Blog Archives

A Long Way From 1990

Okay, two wins in nine tries. We can build on this! Maybe. Nick Mullens will get a chance to prove or disprove that he was a one-shot wonder against the Raiders when he goes up against the free-falling New York

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Worst a Shire Marathon

The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,

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Carrot and Stick

The Rams and 49ers have not been relevant in the same season since about 2002. But they’ve certainly both been irrelevant in quite a few of those years. We’ve got to get these two synced up if there’s ever going

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Crossroads

The bloom is off the rose. The honeymoon is over. The sky is falling – once again. Yes, folks, after a brief vacation in the Kool-Aid tropics, Gloom and Doom have resumed their lengthy stay in the House of York.

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It’s In The Cards

The 49ers have been hit hard by injuries lately, but it hasn’t affected the quality of their poor play. The backup players have proved to be nearly as semi-talented as the starters they have replaced. That would be good news,

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Respect, Just a Little Bit

Gloomy week in 49erville. HC Kyle Shanahan must be feeling a little snake bit these days. Every time he brings in a player to help the team, that player ends up on IR. If this keeps up, players are going

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Kansas City Star, That’s What He Are

At the beginning of the season, nearly everyone figured the 49ers’ record after two games would be 1-1. There were a couple of guys who felt differently, but they have now clunked to the bottom of the “Prognostications” list, where

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Here, Kitty, Kitty

The 49ers catch a break this week, as the awful Detroit Lions come to town, fresh off a week one 48-17 thrashing by the New York Jets. A rather inauspicious debut for Lions’ HC Matt Patricia, who begins his post-Belichick

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Opening Bell

It’s one week until the gates open on the 2018 NFL season. Which means it’s time to throw our brains on the table and cough up our annual predictions of what the 49ers’ record will be this year. As usual,

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It’s a Mad World

So, in with Jimmy Garappolo, out with Kirk Cousins. And, for his 0-6 efforts, Brian Hoyer goes from worst to first. Reminds me of David Baas, the O-line guy who did squat here for five years, then went to the

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First vs Worst

The 49ers travel to Philadelphia this weekend for what will probably be a systematic and thorough disembowelment. The Eagles have the best record in the NFC and unless they fall apart down the stretch in a typical Philly meltdown, they

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Back to You, Ed

NFL season: Take Two. Let’s try this again. Where were we? 0-3 and dead last in the NFC West. Next up, at Arizona. This would normally be an automatic 0-4, but the Cardinals seem to have fallen apart about as

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Potential vs Reality

Okay. Enough of the foreplay. Next Sunday the Kyle Shanahan Era officially begins. Good luck, KS. You’ve got big shoes to fill (the Jim Harbaugh Era), and tiny shoes to flick aside (the Jim Tomsula/Chip Kelly Eras). And, of course,

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Last Slice of Humble Pie

Another season has slipped away, taking with it the 49ers pride, dignity, heritage, pants, shoes, jockstraps, NFL relevance — you name it, they lost it. The team closes out their season Sunday, at home against the Seahawks, who have beaten

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When Bums Collide

The 49ers have lost 13 straight. The Rams have lost 5 in a row. Yes, the folks in Los Angeles will be streaming into the stadium this Saturday. After all, everybody likes a good train wreck and this game involves

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Another Trip to the Woodshed

Last Sunday, Atlanta laid such a relentless whipping on the Rams that it sent LA’s HC Jeff Fisher out the door and into the unemployment line. Next Sunday, the Falcons will quite likely administer the same sort of beat down

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Olfactory Assault

After making debacle all down they legs and all over they feets in Chicago, the 49ers stank their way back to Santa Clara and began preparing for the equally stanky New York Jets this coming Sunday. These two franchises have

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Wasn’t It a Long Way Down

Congratulations to the 2016 49ers. In the 68th year of the franchise, you guys have accomplished the awesomely difficult task of losing ten straight games, the most in team history. No mean feat. To think, only four years ago, this

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Aiming For Infamy

Some good games on tap for Thanksgiving this year. Minnesota vs Detroit for NFC North supremacy, Dallas vs Washington for the NFC East, and Pittsburgh vs Indianapolis for two teams trying to stay alive in crappy divisions. The 49ers won’t

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Nothing But Nyet

The evil New England Patriots come to town this Sunday, looking to beat up on the local boys. Chances are better than good they’ll do exactly that. The defense finally stopped getting traumatized by opposing teams’ rushing attacks last Sunday.

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Journey to the Center of Nowhere

The San Francisco 49ers set the franchise’s 21st Century gold standard of stinkitude in 2004, finishing the season with a 2-14 record. That was the last year of Troy Donahue‘s inept GM indifference and John York‘s visibility as the face

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Keep the Streak Alive

The New Orleans Saints come calling this Sunday, no doubt looking eagerly forward to trashing the 49ers’ woeful defense. The Saints’ defense is no top drawer outfit, either, but if the game is a shootout, who you gonna call: Drew

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2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30
10-21, L: Rams 39, 49ers 10
10-28, L: Cardinals 18, 49ers 15
11-1, W: 49ers 34, Raiders 3
11-12, L: Giants 27, 49ers 23

BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
Winder: 8-8

Bullit: 9-7
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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