Blog Archives

Almost Time for Almost Football

With one week of practice in the books, the 49ers have lost two starters to injury — ILB Malcom Smith and LG Joshua Garnett. Smith is out for the year and Garnett for a month or so. Neither loss is

Posted in Training Camp

The Dulcet Tones of Pad Whacking

The Singletary Hill is back at the 49ers’ Training Camp, in the form of a 30 degree ramp. And right away, sending chills down the spine of every reasonably cognizant fan, video emerged of Jed York chubbing and huffing his

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The Long Road Back

By this time next week, the pads will be on and the 2017 NFL season will be officially grunting with activity. When Jed York hired John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan, he mentioned the word “culture” about a thousand times. Restoring

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Let the Games Begin

Less than a week until we get our first look at the 2016 49ers. Hopefully, it won’t dissuade us from continuing to watch them as the season unfolds. There hasn’t been any viewing competition in the Bay Area for the

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Post Harbaugh, Take II

And so it begins. The Chip Kelly Era is underway. Kelly’s Eagles team last year, while “collapsing” to a 7-9 record after two straight 10-6 seasons, still finished 13th in points scored and 12th in yards — yardage stats that

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TC Week Two

The first exhibition game is this Saturday against Houston. Which means we’ll have 49er football games to entertain us each week until January 3rd, when the season ends for our red and gold, or black and atrocious, warriors. Big year

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TC Week One

Training Camp is underway and everyone is happier, everyone is faster, and everyone is better. Ah, TC bliss. There’s a lot of hyperbole emanating from camp now as the once mighty men try to psyche themselves up for the tenuous

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Training Camp 2015

The 2014 offseason will close up shop this weekend, taking its rightful place among the darkest chapters in 49er history. A truly ghastly effort by the dirtbag young owner and an insult to 49er fans everywhere. Next up, two weeks

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Coming Soon: The Not Harbaugh Era

The NFC West has one team that knows it will be in the playoffs, one team that assumes it will make the playoffs, and one team that hopes to make the playoffs. And one team that will be wildly enthusiastic

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Job Listings

Only three more weeks before the bill starts coming due on Jed York‘s offseason catastrophe. Currently, there are four jobs up for grabs as we head into Training Camp: LDE, RCB, RG, and slot CB. The LDE winner will be

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Visiting the Uglies

Sunday marked the end of life without football. R.I.P. hunk of shit dead air time. The 49ers tee it up Thursday night against the Ravens. Can’t wait to see Jewel Hampton blowing through holes opened up by Al Netter and

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Little Big Men

It only took three practices to answer the question about what to do with the crowded situation at running back. The answer was “Never mind.” First Kendall Hunter went out for the year with an ACL tear, then LaMichael James

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The Church of Football Is Open

The players are back, the pads go on tomorrow, and in less than two weeks we’ll be watching a real fake football game. The final score doesn’t matter in these fake games, so they serve mainly as a warning to

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Halfway to the Beginning

I’d like to say that the 49er offense looks okay and the defense looks great, but we haven’t really seen either one of them play much through two exhibition games. It’s been one series and off to the bench for

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Sensible Shoes

The candidates to fill the shoes at nose tackle and free safety — Ian Williams and Eric Reid — both played well in the first exhibition game. The sky, which had been threatening to fall all down upon our 49er

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Dubious Assessments

The top story of Training Camp so far has been injuries. Let’s hope this is just an early season rash, and not a season long epidemic. The wide receivers have been hardest hit, with six of them standing on the

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Uppers and Downers

Colin Kaepernick is expected to have a sensational season this year, and maybe he will. But all the gushing over him is making me nervous. Life does occasionally throw a sensation party for one of its denizens, true. But there’s

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Ambulance Ambiance

The unmistakable sounds of NFL football are pealing in the air throughout America now: “MEDIC! We have a man down here!” Achilles, Triceps, ACLs, MCLs — these are the dreaded words that signal a major, year-ending injury. The avant garde

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Mighty Men III Begins

Rookies and selected veterans practiced in full pads Monday and Tuesday. There were no catastrophic injuries reported in this first round of torso colliding. Bravo, lads! Only six more months of pounding to go. Proving they are in mid-season form

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Football Is Back

As the 2013 NFL Offseason stinks quietly into the murky depths of history, it’s time to dust off the pom-poms and give it the old sis, boom, bah. Another exciting season of 49er football is about to begin. This year’s

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We’re Almost There

Three days till the 49ers take the field. About the amount of time it takes to detox, for you .25 BAC fellows. You .45 BACers are probably on your way to the morgue and are no longer interested in the

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Wanted: A Few Scary Guys

11-85 is not yet as famous in the Bay Area as 16-80 or 8-80, but a few more years of heroics and a couple of SBs could change that. Alex Smith to Vernon Davis tied an NFL record for TDs

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Posted in Training Camp
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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