Blog Archives

Death Rattle of the 2017 Offseason

Less than two weeks, fellow disgruntlements! And a 99.9100% chance that as of 4:00pm ET Monday, Kirk Cousins will become became a 2018 Free Agent. And in the meantime … The Vegas odds makers and national media wonks all think

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Coming Attractions

The 49ers have not had a franchise QB since Steve Young was knocked out of the NFL by Aeneas Williams at Arizona in 1999. They won’t have one this year, either. Making it 19 straight years with a deficiency at

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Scaled Up Opportunities

The offseason is mercifully upon us and the 49ers have finally introduced their third attempt to replace the highly successful former HC Jim Harbaugh. And their second attempt to replace the highly successful former GM Scot McCloughan. At least neither

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Great Expectations

And away we go with another edition of the Jed York Follies! The hiring of Kyle Shanahan as the new Head Coach won’t be booed in too many gin joints in all the towns in all the world. But, pulling

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Third Time’s The Charm?

According to YorkiLeaks, the next 49er HC will be Kyle Shanahan. The next GM will be one of the guys from Green Bay or the one from Arizona. Until somebody signs on the dotted line, however, there’s always the chance

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And The Winner Is …

This is probably Jed York‘s last chance to show there’s functioning life going on between his ears. Picking the wrong HC is one thing. Picking the wrong GM is quite another. Whoever the new GM is, he’ll be putting his

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Tweedledum and Tweedledee

For the third straight year, the 49ers are beating the bushes looking for a new regime to hopefully convince a skeptical fanbase that they know what they’re doing. Unfortunately for them, the fanbase is, by now, 100% sure that this

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The Poo Factory

We’re nearing the half way point of the 2016 season and a few things have become obvious: The team stinks. Fans hoped Chip Kelly would improve the offense and he has. Last year, the offense was near the bottom and

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Lowered Expectorations

As we prepare to absorb another season of 49er football, it’s good to keep in mind that big, red, rectangle area at the 50 yard line that became known last year as the “Red Hole.” Those are the very expensive

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Up the Down Staircase

The 49ers currently have 39 players on the squad that were selected from the 2013 – 2016 drafts. NaVorro Bowman is the only guy left from the 2010 draft. Nobody left from 2008, 2009, and 2012. Only Colin Kaepernick, Daniel

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Tortoise vs Hare Redux

While the Seahawks, Cardinals, and Rams duke it out this year for NFC West supremacy, the 49ers will be involved in a whole different kind of competition. Two in fact. For one. they’ll be competing for the Number One pick

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Chips Ahoy

We’re half way through the offseason, GM Trent Baalke has left the stage, and from here on out it’s the Chip Kelly show. That’s fine. We can get our teeth into Kelly. His results will be immediately evident from the

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The Bust Maker

The 49ers haven’t come right out and admitted it, but their inactions during the Free Agency period have made it clear they have no intention of trying to be competitive this year. They are not even faking it. The 2016

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Standing Pat

Two weeks into the FA period, it looks like GM Trent Baalke has concluded that last year’s 5-11 record wasn’t the least bit his fault. No, the roster’s fine. The record was all the fault of Jim Tomsula and Colin

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Late to the Party

The first week of Free (but expensive) Agency roared fat over the middle of the plate and 49er GM Trent Baalke didn’t even take the bat off his shoulder. Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeerike One! Most of the good teams in the league didn’t

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Tour de Farce

Chip Kelly got a whirlwind tour of the 49ers’ dysfunctional front office last week. First, the 49ers went public with how excited they were to have Colin Kaepernick on the roster come April 1. Kaepernick’s agents then went public with

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Depleted Roster

It’s NFL Combine week, which means that February is down to its last useless week with a schedule of fittingly useless events that showcase certain peculiar athletic skills of a huge pile of college boys. All of this is a

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Bring In The Next One

Here we are again, embarked on a world wide search for the 49ers next head coach. Jed York dismissed the idea, at his presser, that the team would have trouble attracting a good coach. This was an attempt to evade

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Let the Games Begin

The 2015 NFL season is finally upon us. Fittingly, the 49ers and Vikings will be the last teams to play on the opening weekend, scheduled for the late game of a Monday Night football doubleheader. Jim Harbaugh never lost an

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The Great Divide

It’s been a long time since the blogosphere was this polarized. Not since the pre-Harbaugh days of Alex Smith. Heading into the 2015 season, bloggers either think the franchise is just fine, or they think it’s become a laughingstock. There’s

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Really Excited

Oakland has a championship. San Francisco has a championship. Santa Clara has Jed York. Moving right along, I put on my 1994 Super Bowl Champion 49ers’ T-shirt over the weekend, still going strong after 21 years of careful use, and

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Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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