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Last Call For 2018

The 49ers have not won a road game all year. It would be a shame to ruin such a pristine swing and a miss by somehow eking out a victory against the Rams this Sunday in Los Angeles. After all,

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Posted in Game Previews

Bears 14, 49ers 9

The Chicago Bears brought some old-fashioned smash-mouth football to Santa Clara Sunday afternoon. They shut down the 49ers running game, then shut down their passing  game, then shut them out in the second half, and finally sent 25% of the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bring Your Gum Wads

The Chicago Bears come to town this weekend, fresh from clinching the NFC North division. They would be more tempted to mail this game in if not for the falling fortunes of the Rams which have suddenly made the last

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49ers 26, Seahawks 23

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! After ten straight thumpings, the 49ers finally rose up and smote down the Seattle effing Seahawks. I’m still pinching myself, Shirley. Sunday’s victory was the biggest win of the Kyle Shanahan era

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Once More With Gusto

The Seahawks come to town next Sunday for an encore performance of “Kick my butt!” It’s doubtful the 49ers will be as generous this time around as they were two weeks ago in Seattle, when they gifted the Seahawks with

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49ers 20, Broncos 14

Every dog has its day and Sunday the 49ers had their second WTF Dog Day of the year. The first was against the Raiders and this was against the Broncos. And both of them  were engineered by Nick Mullens, who has

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Trending Up Meets Trending Down

The Broncos were left for dead last month. Their record was 3-6. Now it’s 6-6, after dispatching the Chargers and Steelers, and they might just slip into the playoffs if they keep on winning. Imagine their delight to find the

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Seahawks 43, 49ers 16

The 49ers rolled up nearly 500 yards of offense in Seattle on Sunday and … got beat by four touchdowns! If you throw out the losing part, and the 98 yard pick six by Bobby Wagner, and the fumble at the

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Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

The 49ers make their annual trek to Seattle this weekend for their annual trouncing by the Seahawks. This will be the seventh consecutive year of embarrassment and futility up north. At the beginning of the season, it looked like things

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Buccaneers 27, 49ers 9

The 49ers responded to HC Kyle Shanahan‘s BYE week exhortations and threats by laying a turd Sunday in Tampa Bay. There were some bright spots littered within the fecal display. Rookie WR Dante Pettis got some playing time and caught 4 passes

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It’s Crowded at the Bottom

As the 2018 season enters the home stretch, many of you have already cast your thoughts forward to the 2019 season. And some of you have evidently dozed off and lost all interest. But the Outsider is duty bound to stay the course

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Giants 27, 49ers 23

That was a pretty entertaining game between two evenly matched teams, which is not what you want to say when the team you’re matched up evenly with came into the game with the worst record in the NFC and exited

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A Long Way From 1990

Okay, two wins in nine tries. We can build on this! Maybe. Nick Mullens will get a chance to prove or disprove that he was a one-shot wonder against the Raiders when he goes up against the free-falling New York

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49ers 34, Raiders 3

Well, that was unexpected. Nick Mullens climbed out of the 49er depth chart cellar and threw down the greatest game in NFL history by a QB newbie. It’s unclear whether this was the birth of a legend or mostly the

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Cardinals 18, 49ers 15

I confess I missed some of the “action” in Sunday’s game against the Cardinals. I kept getting distracted by some paint drying on a nearby wall. Apparently, Bradley Pinion was winning a spirited punting duel against former 49er Andy Lee, with 7

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Worst a Shire Marathon

The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,

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Rams 39, 49ers 10

Judging by the score, you’d think the 49ers’ defense had a really bad day. But 27 of the Rams 39 points came on drives of 27, 21, 34, 27, and 13 yards. And another two on a blocked punt safety. The

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Carrot and Stick

The Rams and 49ers have not been relevant in the same season since about 2002. But they’ve certainly both been irrelevant in quite a few of those years. We’ve got to get these two synced up if there’s ever going

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Packers 33, 49ers 30

The 49ers redeemed themselves as a legitimate NFL entity before a national audience Monday night in Green Bay, even though the game oozed away from them in the final four minutes. Fans who enjoy good defense saw nothing much of

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Crossroads

The bloom is off the rose. The honeymoon is over. The sky is falling – once again. Yes, folks, after a brief vacation in the Kool-Aid tropics, Gloom and Doom have resumed their lengthy stay in the House of York.

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Cardinals 28, 49ers 18

The 49ers won the battle for last place in the NFC West Sunday in Santa Clara by drubbing the Arizona Cardinals for three hours while cleverly keeping themselves off the scoreboard in the process of this complete butt whipping. It

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It’s In The Cards

The 49ers have been hit hard by injuries lately, but it hasn’t affected the quality of their poor play. The backup players have proved to be nearly as semi-talented as the starters they have replaced. That would be good news,

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2019 Schedule
9-8: @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1:25pm
9-15: @ Cincinnati Bengals, 10am
9-22: vs. Pittsburgh Steelers, 1:25pm
9-29: BYE

10-7: vs. Cleveland Browns, 5:15pm
10-13: @ Los Angeles Rams, 1:05pm
10-20: @ Washington, 10am
10-27: vs. Carolina Panthers, 1:05pm
10-31: @ Arizona Cardinals, 5:20pm

11-11: vs. Seattle Seahawks, 5:15pm
11-17: vs. Arizona Cardinals, 1:05pm
11-24: vs. Green Bay Packers, 1:25pm

12-1: @ Baltimore Ravens, 10am
12-8: @ New Orleans Saints, 10am
12-15: vs. Atlanta Falcons, 1:25pm
12-21 or 12-22: vs. Los Angeles Rams
12-29: @ Seattle Seahawks, 1:25pm

2019 Draft Class
1. DE Nick Bosa, Ohio State
2. WR Deebo Samuel, South Carolina
3. WR Jalen Hurd, Baylor
4. P Mitch Wishnowsky, Utah
5. LB Dre Greenlaw, Arkansas
6. TE Kaden Smith, Stanford
6. OT Justin Skule, Vanderbilt
6. DB Tim Harris, Virginia
 
2018 Prognostications
Closest to the Pin:
  Mr Fletch: 7-9

Bakkentom: 8-8
Grumpy: 8-8
Winder: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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