Blog Archives

One Toke Over the Line

The OTAs and minicamp have concluded and the players have the next six weeks off. Most will go home and have backyard barbecues and some will pose for mug shots. The 49ers are holding their breath that Reuben Foster does

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Palace Intrigue

By all accounts, Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch are co-existing in pleasant harmony. So were Jim Harbaugh and Trent Baalke in 2011, their first year together. Then Baalke delivered Harbaugh a 2012 draft class that was worthless. End of harmony.

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Roster Review

The 49ers defense ranked 24th last year. 22nd against the pass and 22nd against the run. The offense was 12th in yards and 20th in points. 9th in passing yards, 21st in rushing yards. It’s tough to draw too many

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Dead Air > Hot Air

The 49ers are plodding through their annual Organized Team Activities lately, though nobody seems to be paying much attention to this exertion. Good luck, fellas. Try not to get injured. As we all know, Reuben Foster is back with the

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Divisional Flip Flop

The Cardinals and Seahawks have owned the NFC West in recent years, but they both look ready to eat some humble pie this coming year. Hahahaha! I don’t have any particular beef with the Cardinals, who are led by one

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Posted in Existential Elbows

What Lies Belief

A week after the Draft, and opinions are running the usual gamut. The glass-half-full guys are focusing on all the good reports, tape, and upside of the drafted boys. Feeling justified in their optimism. The glass-half-empty crowd see the foibles

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Was It Good For You?

Oh what a draft it was, it really was … such a draft How well I remember, I’ll always remember … The 49ers Draft Room fellows were typically quite pleased with themselves for their efforts in the 2018 Draft. There’s

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Lap Falling Syndrome

Well, it’s almost here. After the Super Bowl and the Presidential Election, the NFL Draft is probably the third most overhyped event in America. Apparently, the 49ers are going to take a linebacker, a cornerback, an offensive lineman, or trade

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Mock Train to Boot Hill

One more week until the 2018 Draft, when the 49ers will select some guys and find out if they can play and if they can stay out of trouble. And the thousands of mock drafts will magically disappear to some

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Posted in Draft Board

Lynch Review

GM John Lynch has been a bit chirpy lately, and no wonder. When Jimmy Garoppolo fell into his lap last October, his job security skyrocketed. Without that bit of luck, the 49ers would have had to sign Kirk Cousins and

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Serenading the Grinch

Quite a few days left before the 2018 Draft. Plenty of time for another 6,000 seven round mock drafts to clutter up the NFL universe in an annual exercise that is 99 & 100% pure bullshit. To some, it’s entertaining

Posted in Around the League

Grabbing the Spotlight

GM John Lynch made some strange statements last week. If we didn’t know that Lynch and HC Kyle Shanahan were BFFs and pulling on the same oar, one might think Lynch was puffing himself up at Shanahan’s expense. Lynch was

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Go Ask Alice, I Think She’ll Know

The NFC West spun off its axis last week, with the Seahawks throwing in the towel, the Rams gearing up to defend against Jimmy Garoppolo, and the 49ers signing Richard (formerly Dickhead) Sherman, perhaps the most hated rival of the

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Posted in NFC West Gossip

Combine Week

The NFL Combine kicks off this week, which means GM John Lynch will have to come out of hiding and discuss/spin the Reuben Foster debacle. Up to now, he’s been all smiles and good cheer. So this will be his

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Good News, Bad News

I suppose it’s time to crack open the door to the 2018 offseason. When we last viewed the 49ers, they were in the process of beating three playoff teams to close out the year on a five game winning streak.

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Posted in Vacant Observations

As the Alex Turns

The first week of the 2018 offseason has passed quietly into history, taking with it all the nothingness of its existence. Although, to be fair, 1,063,462 persons around the globe croaked last week, so perhaps the week has significance to

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Conference Title Games

Bleccccchh! And another tedious NFL season bites the dust. Next up, two weeks of shameless, overhyped, self-aggrandizing nausea. Fortunately, this is a 49er site and we can legitimately ignore the whole pile of steaming hot crap. Sorry, but apparently I’ve

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Divisional Round

Defense trumped offense in the NFC Divisional round, while offense stomped defense in the AFC. It’s a strange year. The Jaguars were known for their defense during the season, but gave up 44 points to the 49ers in the next

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Wild Card Weak End

The first wave of pretenders were tossed aside over the weekend. The Rams, Chiefs, Bills, and Panthers all swung and missed. And see you next year. Of the four losers, only the Panthers had a realistic hope of getting to

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Posted in Around the League

49ers 34, Rams 13

The Rams laid down like dogs, to quote possibly the only memorable thing Phil Simms ever said. With 17 substitutions to their starting lineup, they were no match for the rejuvenated 49ers, who easily swamped the B squad from L.A.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 44, Jaguars 33

The 49ers ran their late season winning streak to four games Sunday, beating the Jaguars and improving their record to 5-10. Before the game started, the Rams beat the Titans, which clinched the AFC South for Jacksonville and the NFC

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 25, Titans 23

It appears the 49ers have finally located a QB. In three games as the starter, Jimmy Garoppolo has been virtually unstoppable. He’s had two 300+ yard passing games, an almost extinct achievement this century. Two 4th quarter game winning drives

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Posted in Post Game Spread
2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
10-15, L: Packers 33, 49ers 30

10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Winder: 8-8

Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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