The Battle of the Bottom Feeders begins Sunday! Mark your calendars! Don’t miss one minute of excruciating awfulness! Sunday’s game against the Arizona Cardinals has the added benefit of being a battle for last place in the NFC West. Currently,…
Blog Archives
Worst a Shire Marathon
Tagged with: 49ers, Cardinals, CJ Beathard, Giants, Jed York, Jimmy Garoppolo, Raiders
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Rams 39, 49ers 10
Judging by the score, you’d think the 49ers’ defense had a really bad day. But 27 of the Rams 39 points came on drives of 27, 21, 34, 27, and 13 yards. And another two on a blocked punt safety. The…
Tagged with: Aaron Donald, CJ Beathard, Dwight Clark, Jared Goff, Jed York, John Lynch, Los Angeles Rams, Ndamukong Suh, Reuben Foster, San Francisco 49ers, Solomon Thomas, Todd Gurley, Weston Richburg
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Carrot and Stick
The Rams and 49ers have not been relevant in the same season since about 2002. But they’ve certainly both been irrelevant in quite a few of those years. We’ve got to get these two synced up if there’s ever going…
Packers 33, 49ers 30
The 49ers redeemed themselves as a legitimate NFL entity before a national audience Monday night in Green Bay, even though the game oozed away from them in the final four minutes. Fans who enjoy good defense saw nothing much of…
Tagged with: Aaron Rodgers, CJ Beathard, Deforest Buckner, Dickhead Sherman, DJ Reed, Green Bay Packers, Kyle Juszczyk, Kyle Shanahan, Matt Breida, Raheem Mostert, Robert Saleh, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Crossroads
The bloom is off the rose. The honeymoon is over. The sky is falling – once again. Yes, folks, after a brief vacation in the Kool-Aid tropics, Gloom and Doom have resumed their lengthy stay in the House of York.…
Tagged with: 49ers, Green Bay Packers, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Norv Turner, Robert Saleh, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Cardinals 28, 49ers 18
The 49ers won the battle for last place in the NFC West Sunday in Santa Clara by drubbing the Arizona Cardinals for three hours while cleverly keeping themselves off the scoreboard in the process of this complete butt whipping. It…
Tagged with: Adrian Colbert, Ahkello Witherspoon, Arizona Cardinals, CJ Beathard, Jim Harbaugh, Raheem Mostert, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
It’s In The Cards
The 49ers have been hit hard by injuries lately, but it hasn’t affected the quality of their poor play. The backup players have proved to be nearly as semi-talented as the starters they have replaced. That would be good news,…
Chargers 29, 49ers 27
Sunday’s 49ers looked a lot like last year’s 49ers. Gritty, competitive, never-say-die, back-and-forth nail-biter but short end of the stick. Just enough positive play to stay in the game and just enough mistakes to lose. CJ Beathard filled in admirably…
Respect, Just a Little Bit
Gloomy week in 49erville. HC Kyle Shanahan must be feeling a little snake bit these days. Every time he brings in a player to help the team, that player ends up on IR. If this keeps up, players are going…
Tagged with: 49ers, CJ Beathard, George Kittle, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kyle Shanahan, Los Angeles Chargers
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
The 49ers season swirled down the toilet Sunday afternoon against the Kansas City Chiefs when late in the game QB Jimmy Garoppolo recklessly went for a couple more yards instead of stepping out of bounds. As he planted his left…
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Jerick McKinnon, Jim Harbaugh, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kansas City Chiefs, Mike McGlinchey, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Kansas City Star, That’s What He Are
At the beginning of the season, nearly everyone figured the 49ers’ record after two games would be 1-1. There were a couple of guys who felt differently, but they have now clunked to the bottom of the “Prognostications” list, where…
Tagged with: Andy Reid, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kansas City Chiefs, Patrick Mahomes, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
49ers 30, Lions 27
As expected, the 49ers rebounded from their loss in Minnesota to easily barely handle the toothless scrappy Detroit Lions. After controlling the game for three quarters, the Niners held a 17 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the…
Tagged with: Ahkello Witherspoon, Detroit Lions, Jimmie Ward, Jimmy Garoppolo, Matt Breida, Matthew Stafford, Reuben Foster, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Here, Kitty, Kitty
The 49ers catch a break this week, as the awful Detroit Lions come to town, fresh off a week one 48-17 thrashing by the New York Jets. A rather inauspicious debut for Lions’ HC Matt Patricia, who begins his post-Belichick…
Vikings 24, 49ers 16
Jimmy Garoppolo is human after all. His NFL unbeaten record came to a crashing halt Sunday in Minnesota, as the Vikings handed Jimmy his first taste of professional defeat after seven consecutive wins. Minnesota QB Kirk Cousins played the kind…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alfred Morris, Dante Pettis, Deforest Buckner, Gary Gilliam, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kirk Cousins, Marquise Goodwin, Mike McGlinchey, Robbie Gould, Vikings
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Opening Bell
It’s one week until the gates open on the 2018 NFL season. Which means it’s time to throw our brains on the table and cough up our annual predictions of what the 49ers’ record will be this year. As usual,…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alfred Morris, Case Keenum, Dante Pettis, Jerick McKinnoon, Jimmy Garoppolo, John Lynch, Kirk Cousins, Kyle Shanahan, Malcolm Smith, Reuben Foster, Vikings
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Colts 23, 49ers 17
The 49ers cleverly disguised their offensive juggernaut Saturday night, pretending to hit a brick wall against the lowly AFC South cellar dwelling Indianapolis Colts. You can almost hear the snores emanating from the game plan rooms of DCs around the…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alfred Morris, Colts, Dante Pettis, Garrett Celek, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kyle Shanahan, Laken Tomlinson, Nick Mullens, Richie James, Robbie Gould
Posted in Exhibition Season
Posted in Exhibition Season
Texans 16, 49ers 13
The first quarter of Saturday’s game in Texas was interesting. The rest of the game, not so much. Marquise Goodwin has clearly become the number one WR on the 49ers and Trent Taylor is the go to guy on third…
Tagged with: 49ers, Jeremy McNichols, Joe Williams, Kyle Juszczyk, Marquise Goodwin, Texans, Trent Taylor
Posted in Exhibition Season
Posted in Exhibition Season
All the World’s a Stage
The first exhibition game is in the books. Ready to be moved to the basement. Next to the boiler. Ready for the winter fires. Just kidding. Nobody has books anymore, or boilers, for that matter. Except in movies where mob…
And Away We Go
So, Thursday night, 49ers against the Cowboys. Two franchises in search of their former glory. Best guess is that neither team will be reaching the Super Bowl this year, but one or both might make the playoffs. Or neither. The…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, CJ Beathard, Cowboys, Dak Prescott, Dante Pettis, Deforest Buckner, Dickhead Sherman, Fred Warner, Jerick McKinnon, Jimmy Garoppol, Mike McGlinchey, Solomon Thomas, Tarvarius Moore, Wade Phillips
Posted in Exhibition Season
Posted in Exhibition Season
Almost There
49er Training Camp is a week old and the good news is there have been no serious injuries … yet. There’s the annual Arik Armstead “issue” – this year it’s his hamstring, last year his hand, the year before that his…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alex Boone, Arik Armstead, Jesse Sapolu, Mike Singletary, Randy Cross
Posted in Training Camp
Posted in Training Camp
The Gauntlet
Welcome back 2018 49ers. Much will be expected of you this coming season. The past three years, nothing was expected and that is precisely what you delivered, finishing dead last in the NFC West all three years. At minimum, the…
Caveat Emptor
Last call for NFL knuckleheads to crash their careers and wind up in the mug shot room. This time next week, they’ll all be back in the loving arms of coaches and baby sitters, safe from themselves. If the NFLPA…