Double standards are all the rage in the 21st Century. It’s pretty much how business and governments operate these days. This past week we are seeing this lopsided couplet at work in the NFL.
It’s common to hear players talking about giving 110% out there on the gridiron. It’s even expected. The gold standard of trying one’s hardest. Owners expect this sort of euphemistic enthusiasm and commitment from their serfs, too.
However, owners themselves are hard at work getting a new CBA hammered out in the last desperate hours of the offseason by putting in only 29% effort, showing up for talks a mere two days a week. Is that a roaring pile of doodoo crud or what? Maybe some of them go home and have restless, sweat-filled sleep or brood anxiously over their nightly booze, but this doesn’t count as working any more than a player sleeping in a chair because he’s too banged up to lie on his back or his side in a bed. Not that the two discomforts are comparable, since one is earned and the other is deserved, and you can figure out which goes with whom.
29%. That’s an insulting effort by any standard. I even had to round this paltry percentage up from .2857142 to give the owners an even 29. You know damn well if a player gave only 109.9957142 percent, the owners would not be generous with the rounding up deal, and would instead be sure to point out to the player that he was not giving a full 110% effort.
That’s the way it is, folks. The owners and other elite type persons feel that what they do is vastly superior to what you and I do. The big difference lies in what can be loosely termed honesty. You and I, more or less, have it, and they, practically as a rule of life, don’t. Elite persons have all arrived at their eliteness, through their own effort or their forefathers’, by being dishonest, thieving, corrupt, ruthless, unscrupulous, unjust, greedy, power-hungry, cold-hearted P.o.S.’s.
They call this “earning” their way to the top. Oh, pooo. You’re just mean, law-twisting crooks, fellas. Plain and simple.
Which brings us to our very own Jed York. Is he one of them or us? Hahaha. Sorry, Jed, you’re a nice kid and I’m sure you mean well, but you’re already selling baloney to fans on a daily basis. And you’ll be selling it for all the rest of your life. We understand that it’s baloney and you need to be a baloney peddler to compete with the other baloney peddlers, but it’s still baloney, anyway you slice it. I don’t peddle baloney and neither does the Outsider community or fans in general. We may squirt some mustard around, but that’s it.
So, here’s the deal, Jed, and you other owners. 29% doesn’t cut it. Get your butts to work. And here’s the kicker, Jed. You are in baloney hell. You are not going to get out of it in this life without disowning your elite inheritance. Walking away cold turkey. Because we’re going to keep giving you our money and holding you accountable. It’s a pact with the devil. Your soul for our entertainment. Creepy, huh? And we’ll only keep giving you our money if you lie, cheat, steal, and out-ruthless the other condemned members of your elite group. Man, what a pickle. Elite days vs “the sleep of an honest man.”
I’m not trying to rub it in, Jed, but this weekend Skeebette and I are going to sleep naked in our tasteful PJs in our backyard looking up at the moon in a $69 tent we got at Target with a $100 gift certificate our son-in-law gave us last Christmas. Just because we can. Makes you kinda drool over a non-elite life, eh Jed? You couldn’t sleep naked in your tasteful PJs in your backyard without showing up on Youtube with a flabby ass butt crack shot the very next morning. Oh, well. Some haven’t it, and some do.